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Grans who had an only child...

(108 Posts)
LondonGal87 Tue 26-Jul-22 12:35:43

Did you ever regret you decision or would you do anything differently (if you could) I'm thinking of sticking with one but wondering if I'll regret not having more in the future...

Thank you x

sodapop Tue 09-Aug-22 17:43:13

Judging by some of these responses some of us only children must be really obnoxious people isn't that so Grandtant

Maxine16 Tue 09-Aug-22 19:04:49

I was an only child and I didn't like it. Other kids used to tease me and say I must be spoilt.I would have loved a sister. Thats why I wanted more than one myself. Ended up having four and I'm so glad they will always have each other even if they end up living far apart. On the other hand there are lots of people, especially theses days who decided one is enough. There's no right orwrong answer.

mamaa Tue 09-Aug-22 20:40:02

I have one child, not by choice. My brother has 1 child, his wife’s decision after a difficult delivery. I now have 3 grandchildren, my brother has 2. Both of our children didn't want theirs to be ‘onlies’ but neither ever said they didn't like being an only themselves until they became parents.
There’s no hard and fast rule- my child and my brothers child wanted for nothing but weren’t spoilt. They are caring, compassionate, popular, sociable with many friends.
My brother and I are closer now than we’ve ever been. Certainly growing up, there’s 5 years between us, we had nothing in common and our early years were probably similar to those of an only child as obviously he had 5 years as one before I came along. Then as he started school I had my ‘only child almost’ experience.
There’s also no guarantee that siblings will like each other at all or be there to support and help each other during the tough times.
Do what you feel is best for all of you; there are many reasons for and against and I’ll always remember what my child's first headteacher said to me when I had a discussion with her asking similar questions to yours. She said ‘ an only child is not necessarily a lonely child’- which I think is a point made by many upthread.
Another school of thought is plan for 1 child and if another comes along later, well so be it, if not, well so be it.

Sarahmob Tue 09-Aug-22 20:59:33

I only have one child and would have loved more, but it just didn’t happen. I worry for when (if) DH and I become older and need more support - I feel it will all fall onto my DD although I will do my best to ensure that we are not burdensome. I just know now with my parents what a responsibility it is and I share that with two other siblings.

Rozlee Tue 09-Aug-22 22:20:50

I am an only child and I only had 1 child I never missed having siblings Until now !!!! I was always out and about with plenty of friends I also loved my own company (still do)
When my Dad died suddenly 23 years ago I was beyond devastated I had no siblings to lean on. Now my Mum who is 80 has dementia I think would it be easier to share the care and concerns I have with a brother or sister ? I have a wonderful daughter who is a fantastic help but she has a young family and her life to lead I know having siblings does not mean everyone takes their share but I do now wish I had someone. I have made it very clear to my daughter my wishes re care of me if required in the future I WILL NOT be a burden to her although she says she won’t feel that way and I don’t feel my mum is a burden in any way to me BUT it’s so hard making decisions it’s so hard feeling guilty all the time because I work and will need to for a while longer. Would siblings have helped ? Who knows. I had a wonderful childhood and wouldn’t have changed it xxx

Nanniejude Tue 09-Aug-22 23:11:18

I’m so happy I have 3 AC, 3 siblings and 10 nieces and nephews. I count my blessings as I would hate to be an only child.
Everyone is different and must weigh up there own pros and cons.

Madashell Wed 10-Aug-22 21:40:18

All I’d say is - if you want more don’t leave too long between the two. Five years between my sister and myself - that’s a generational gap at that age, and my sister was vile to me. I felt lonely and as if I was an only child and not particularly wanted by anyone. I had my two fairly close together as I didn’t want that gap in my family - as youngsters they got on pretty well but were like chalk and cheese. And recent events have shown that they are there for eachother.

I would have loved a younger sister though.