Feeling upset

I thought Wellbeck's comment probably had a grain of truth too.

How do you know that she is complaining about cooking? You must be keeping in contact with some one.
If they don't value your friendship then why bother putting in the effort.
We can't be liked by everyone.
If you are concerned ask, some one must have noticed you weren't asked.

Yeah I’d be pretty miffed. Sorry but I would be.

Social snubbing is as old as the hills and not irrelevant. It’s so shocking possibly because we think we are held in higher regard than we are? Or they were just nicer than they are? It’s a shift and it feels crap. What I have found though since covid is that I don’t want to resurrect the arrangements I had with others before then, what a relief. Probably mutual. I think we big up our relationships until we are forced to reassess. And the other weird thing is I had so many more friends who were often single when I was a couple and was forever accommodating them singly etc and then I became single and it seemed they scarpered that was a shock. I think because a lot of the women preferred my husband which didn’t occur to me. Not the sisterhood I imagined .
Did you say that you already had developed a relationship with the new couple? I’d step back from such competition, rise above.

It must of been very hurtful for you, but I would rise above it and don't be like them, arrange a lunch for you all and go and enjoy it.
I've found since my divorce my friendships changed. I'm the only one single and never get invited to dinners or barbecues anymore. The wives asked me out for lunch with them, but never to couples events. It hurts when they tell me about the nights they have had while I've been sitting in alone, but if they don't want me there there's nothing I can do to change it. Well get another man I suppose and I definitely don't want to do that.

Suziehi, my DH and me have been through a similar thing recently. We’re no longer flavour of the month with a certain couple. They have moved on from us. Initially I was upset, but do you know, I couldn’t give a fig anymore. I’m a “once bitten twice shy” kind of person. We have other friends and other interests. Like you we have each other. Be thankful for that and move on from it. You’ll soon begin to realise that you don’t need people like these in your life.
Sending you hugs. ? and flowers ?.

welbeck

sounds a bit childish to me.
who cares, let them do what they want.
you can't control other people.
does it really matter.

I get what you mean , although you sound a tad bitter?maybe not .it's just how your comment sounds to me

It's horrible isn't it? This is soo common you're definitely not alone! Leave them to it. We had similar bad behaviour from so called "friend's" and we survived! You're made of stronger stuff-even to tell us about this takes guts, good for you!

Beanie654321

How do you know that she is complaining about cooking? You must be keeping in contact with some one.
If they don't value your friendship then why bother putting in the effort.
We can't be liked by everyone.
If you are concerned ask, some one must have noticed you weren't asked.

I know she complains because if I meet her near the date of her party she always say I'm having the girls over tomorrow and am worried what wine to get and am stressed with this recipe.
I have known some of the others for over 20 years but I sometimes feel they regard me as D's friend rather than a person in my own right. It doesn't bother me anymore.

In my experience most folks are cowards.plain and simple. They don't speak up/ defend/intervene/help/complaint/do the right thing at all!! Majority stand like posts watching as someone like me(why? I ask myself!) Am usually the one to shout out and no hesitation in tackling stuff that happens. I don't mind really , people are weak.not their faults it's the the norm

I have the same feeling with a friend I have phoned several times she has made excuses said she will phone & doesn't I have given up not t friend I thought she was

I'd set the cat amongst the pigeons and ask"what ime do you want me over?" Ha haaaa! And watch her face!??

We don't do the 'friends' thing. To us it's a chore and an inconvenience. Anti social that's us!

Read the poem "A Reason, A Season or A Lifetime" author Unknown. It will make you feel better.

Hospitals actively discourage visiting!

Not the two I have been in/visited recently.

I took a friend to visit her daughter in hosputal and the ward were more than willingto let me in with her. I was the one who insisted that I would be the cuckoo in the nest.

I was in hospital for a couple of days and DH could be there as much as he liked.

Blimey Gabriella you sound a girl with a soul !!!
Perhaps some people are just more considerate of others feelings than obviously you are ‘weak’ to be polite and caring not to hurt Stand like posts you sound utterly charming !!!

Lovely poem, InTheCove. Thank you.

Easy, start another lunch club with new friends or other old friends who may appreciate going out in a group of people.

It does appear to be quite rude seeing that you introduced them, but they may have had some kind of reason.

If you are in the position that you can do this, I would try to invite all 3 couples around - maybe for 2 or 3 of your monthly meeting to start of with. I would hope that if you lead by example that everyone can come along, than maybe they will invite everyone too. If it's too large a group to accommodate in your house, just meet up in a restaurant or cafe. Trying to be more inclusive to all.

Hope you can have a friendship with all the couples. It sounds like you all had fun before Covid, try not to loose that.

It is hurtful. It happens. Move on.

I had a neighbour like that. Landed on my doorstep when her husband left. I’d really not been that friendly before. She made out she was my best friend and almost took over my life. I would cook meals for her and support her when down. All of a sudden she moved on (nothing wrong with that but she became quite toxic interfering in my relationships and abandoning best friends she had known for years before me.). I had to put a stop to it and never heard from her since. Cest la Vie.

I’d be inviting new favourite couple out with my husband and not the other pair. And keep it that way. Fight fire with fire and move on from them.

Ahh that’s a sad feeling

Ahh that’s sad indeed