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The dreaded talk!

(83 Posts)
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Oopsadaisy1 Mon 19-Sept-22 08:15:43

Are happy and settled, please show them your list of pros and cons and firmly (but kindly) tell them that you are staying where you are.
Of course it might mean that you see less of them, but you can always revisit your list of ‘cons’ at a later date.
Security of tenure is so very important, you won’t have that in a private rental and you will be starting life in a new town when you don’t want to move.

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Jaylou Mon 19-Sept-22 08:13:07

I was just going to reply sympathetically to this when I saw the OP's name. They have started another thread saying how their family are excluding them.
I am now not sure about this or the other thread. I may be wrong

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Grammaretto Mon 19-Sept-22 08:12:04

Unless there is something you are not saying, your health is good and there is no reason to move apart from for the DC convenience.
Maybe they have a health issue they are keeping from you?
Stay put.

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Carenza123 Mon 19-Sept-22 08:10:16

Your family are naturally concerned about your welfare, but you seem pretty settled where you are and can get help if needed. I think moving to rented accommodation for yourself is very precarious - landlord wants to sell up, rents increasing drastically and having no control over that. Stay where you are and just have a heart to heart talk with your family, giving your reasons for staying put. You are not being unreasonable.

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NanKate Mon 19-Sept-22 08:01:39

A friend of mine was pressured to move near her daughter and grandchildren. It was the biggest mistake of her life, she now only sees her family occasionally and they live in the same road!

Your family sound caring and I think you need to have a chat with them and explain all the reasons for staying where you are.

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Riverwalk Mon 19-Sept-22 07:18:34

You are in sheltered and social housing - I can understand why you would want to stay where you are. Your family are being very silly to pressure you to move to private rental with all the insecurities that brings.

Then the most obvious of all, that is always mentioned here, what if they decide to move?

Stay put!

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Juliet27 Mon 19-Sept-22 07:09:32

It sounds to me as though you have your life sensibly sorted and planned as you want it, for now and the future. It would seem a shame for it to be disrupted.

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Meow Mon 19-Sept-22 07:03:13

Im 75, my health isnt good but I plod on as best I can, I do not have anything life threatening. I moved into sheltered housing 8 years ago, I have a emergency alarm system if I need it. Son, dil and grandson live over 2 hours away, I am in regular contact with them and get plenty of visits not as many as I would like but they are a busy family. Over the past couple of years they have been asking me to move to be closer to them. It was their choice to move away. They send me links to rented properties I might like (all double what Im paying now in social housing, so I would have to dig into my savings ) and I feel very pressured to move closer to them. I have thought about it and listed pros and cons, the cons list was lengthy! Too many to list here!
They came to visit me yesterday which was most enjoyable, then my son wanted a serious talk with me as they are worried about my health and them living over 2 hours away if anything drastic happens they couldnt get here in a short time. They wanted to know how I would cope. I explained I would be able to afford a carer if and when needed also a cleaner. (Im fortunate enough to have a private pension) At the moment I can manage housework etc, albeit it takes me a lot longer than it used to. Ive told my son I am not going into a nursing home I want to stay put. I understand that they are worried about me but I feel the pressure they are putting on me is just too much and I really do not know what to say to them without hurting their feelings and upsetting them. I also do not want to be a burden to my kids.

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