The dreaded talk!

It sounds to me as though you have your life sensibly sorted and planned as you want it, for now and the future. It would seem a shame for it to be disrupted.

You are in sheltered and social housing - I can understand why you would want to stay where you are. Your family are being very silly to pressure you to move to private rental with all the insecurities that brings.

Then the most obvious of all, that is always mentioned here, what if they decide to move?

Stay put!

A friend of mine was pressured to move near her daughter and grandchildren. It was the biggest mistake of her life, she now only sees her family occasionally and they live in the same road!

Your family sound caring and I think you need to have a chat with them and explain all the reasons for staying where you are.

Your family are naturally concerned about your welfare, but you seem pretty settled where you are and can get help if needed. I think moving to rented accommodation for yourself is very precarious - landlord wants to sell up, rents increasing drastically and having no control over that. Stay where you are and just have a heart to heart talk with your family, giving your reasons for staying put. You are not being unreasonable.

Unless there is something you are not saying, your health is good and there is no reason to move apart from for the DC convenience.
Maybe they have a health issue they are keeping from you?
Stay put.

I was just going to reply sympathetically to this when I saw the OP's name. They have started another thread saying how their family are excluding them.
I am now not sure about this or the other thread. I may be wrong

Are happy and settled, please show them your list of pros and cons and firmly (but kindly) tell them that you are staying where you are.
Of course it might mean that you see less of them, but you can always revisit your list of ‘cons’ at a later date.
Security of tenure is so very important, you won’t have that in a private rental and you will be starting life in a new town when you don’t want to move.

Maybe two different families Jaylou.

Stay put because you are happy where you are. Your family may have to move in the future because of the changing world regarding employment, there is no guarantee they will stay where they are.

Jaylou

I was just going to reply sympathetically to this when I saw the OP's name. They have started another thread saying how their family are excluding them.
I am now not sure about this or the other thread. I may be wrong

Yes you are wrong! Yes I posted on the estrangement thread, which is about my daughter and her adult children. This thread is about my son and his family! I do have other children!

You state you are in sheltered housing. You could speak to your housing options officer to discuss. If suitable accommodation/area was available to your liking & you decided to transfer this would not affect your tenure.
Definitely do not surrender your secure tenancy for private rent.

As Riverwalk mentioned ….are your family staying put in their home?

“If in doubt do nowt”.
Especially as your ‘cons’ list is longer.
My lovely late mother in law used to say “please others and you displease yourself”.

The fact that you have an estranged daughter adds another aspect. Perhaps your son is aware it’s only his family doing the to-ing and fro-ing and is starting to resent it? Of course this is only my take on things and I may be wide of the mark. Or not.

Meow

Jaylou

I was just going to reply sympathetically to this when I saw the OP's name. They have started another thread saying how their family are excluding them.
I am now not sure about this or the other thread. I may be wrong

Yes you are wrong! Yes I posted on the estrangement thread, which is about my daughter and her adult children. This thread is about my son and his family! I do have other children!

Then I apologise

It sounds best that you stay where you are, from what you've written.

I have parents your age and have had 'the talk' with them. Purely out of concern. They have no family around and I think they could stay independent in their own home for longer if they were close to one of their children. They have declined, which is fair and entirely their choice, but they are now developing medical conditions that are catching up with them. They will have to see how that plays out for them in the coming years.

Your life, your choice. It sounds as if you have all reasonable future-proofing in place and, no doubt, will have your local friends and activities which form such a vital part of the fabric of life. It takes a long time to remake that fabric in a new place.
Honestly, if you are content where you are, tell your son thanks, but no thanks and live your life as you want.

If the cons are long but not-too-long and maybe "smaller" ones you could speak to your housing association about the likelihood of an exchange.

Just tell them 'it doesnt work for you" if you feel that's the case

2 hours is not that long at all.

If I was in your shoes, capable and content where I was, I certainly wouldn’t be moving for the convenience of my AC. I understand your DS means well but this is still your life and you must decide what is best for you, listen to your instincts.

It’s natural for your family to worry about you and want to be close at hand to support you. I know with my late parents I worried and saw all the negatives of being so far away if they needed help or became ill or fell. It wasn’t for my convenience but simple fear that I couldn’t get there quickly or give the support I wanted to. Perhaps it would be helpful for you to point out the positives of staying in your present location and the reasons you don’t want to move. It might reassure them.

Concordia

Your life, your choice. It sounds as if you have all reasonable future-proofing in place and, no doubt, will have your local friends and activities which form such a vital part of the fabric of life. It takes a long time to remake that fabric in a new place.
Honestly, if you are content where you are, tell your son thanks, but no thanks and live your life as you want.

Spot on Concordia stay put where you are happy Meow

If you have always thought about moving move, if not stay where you are & be happy. Your decision , you may move then regret it, if you are unsure tell your family you want time to think about it , say 6 months or so, then what you finally decide is yours, & hopefully shouldn't be under any pressure ... also tell them not to mention anything to you about it ... yes they may be concerned & worried , but your happiness , I hope you make the right choice you want

Tell them you do not want to hurt their feelings but they are hurting yours by constantly going on about your moving nearer when you've made it clear you don't want to.

Give them your list of cons including the cost and ask them NOT to talk to you about it again.

Sometimes the elderly person can't see the wood for the trees and the relations get a clearer view. It might be worth considering that when you are feeling pressured. I know you don't want to burden your family but worrying about a parent is a burden and more anxiety inducing sometimes than caring for someone.
Maybe you could see if there is a way that you can do a swap with someone nearer to your family as you are in Social Housing if that is the only thing stopping you from moving. It might be worth investigating even if you choose not to go ahead.

Why don't people talk to each other like adults?