What I would tell my 20 year old self if I could

I agree ForeverAutumn.
I like your name BTW! ?

Go to university
I know I'm overweight but it doesn't matter
Don't settle for what you can get (men)

I would tell my twenty year old self that there was light at the end of the tunnel and things would go on getting better.

kittylester
This is why I rarely comment to posts on Gransnet.

I saw your earlier posts which were the sweet comments about an unconfident earlier version of yourself, I thought this was the whole concept about this post. The comments you received were uncalled for and uncompassionate.

I had been married a year at 20. I should have said Don’t be so stupid ! The only good thing that came out of that marriage was my children!

In general I’d say you are good enough , don’t worry about things it’ll work out and live every day as if it’s your last

I’d say “Never mind that it’s 1am on New Years Day and snowing hard and he has several miles to trudge through thick snow to his place, DON’T let him stay the night at yours!”

I’d tell her to stop messing about and make a play for the lovely boy she shared so much of her time with at uni. because, 50 years later, she would begin a new life with him anyway.

Marriage can wait. Don't drink alcohol its a waste of time.
Don't stay in office jobs that bore you silly. Follow your
instincts and pursue what you are good at. Aim higher.

You are beautiful - savour every experience, they will soon be memories

Alioop that's fantastic - the three redheads in my family (cousins) lost their colour very early on and went grey in their thirties; they all had to start using dye to remain redheads. I thought their hair was wonderful - and they were fiesty, attractive ladies. Good for you.

Don't waste a lot of money dying your red hair blonde every 6 weeks because of bullying and name calling. Be proud of being a ginger nut or rusty head and still having you're lovely red hair at 56! ?

cariad25

kittylester ...You said...'They probably did, you were just not listening. All of us are full of insecurities. All that would have happened, if you had listened, and taken notice is that you would have been full of different insecurities.'
You're missing the point! It was a hypothetical question and the OP was asking what, based on HER own life experiences, what she would tell HERSELF'!!!
Why bother to answer if you don't get the premise of the question?!

Er, I didn't say that.

Me too, well not to the person I did.

Yes Neil, just swop the gender in my case

Tell that girl you long to speak to, just how you feel, she may tell you to get lost, but at least you will know, instead of 60+ years of just wondering and dreaming sadly.

Never marry or have children, my daughter lied and cheated her way through my life, she involved me in her Benefit fraud, using my address, telephone number, and house. When I protested, she said: 'If you want to see your grandchildren again we will be down in the morning, I have a 'home visit' from Social Security'. She was living with her partner.

Leave him now as it will never get better only much much worse. Don't wait another year when his parents will buy you a house and you will be indebted to them. He will take all your money and go clubbing every night without you.
I left at 21 best decision ever.

What would be the point. My 20 year old self wanted to follow her own path and wouldn't have listened.....

Be calm; don't rush through life and spoil the 'now'. Spend more time with the precious children to avoid regrets later.
Never waste time on unkind people, trying to be kind to them, when they will never respond or be worth your efforts.

Don't have sex with someone just because they are there and you are a bit drunk

kittylester ...You said...'They probably did, you were just not listening. All of us are full of insecurities. All that would have happened, if you had listened, and taken notice is that you would have been full of different insecurities.'
You're missing the point! It was a hypothetical question and the OP was asking what, based on HER own life experiences, what she would tell HERSELF'!!!
Why bother to answer if you don't get the premise of the question?!

Do the masters that you were told you could on the very last day of uni! Too late then. Look after your teeth properly. You are more beautiful and much slimmer than you’ll ever be again.

Don't be controlled by my mother, and don't think that marriage is more important than following a career that I loved.

Don't settle for anything less than what you really do deserve

I've had few regrets over my life, but there are a couple or three things I would dearly have loved to rethink or changed.

The first one would be not to take the route I regularly took on the A34, because the last day I ever spent travelling to work when I was 49 was cut short by a motorist smashing into the back of me at the interchange to the motorway while cycling to work at Trafford College (from Poynton), the lady told the police she didn't see me, despite wearing bright coloured cycling gear); I was left with a broken back, lost 4 inches in height and sustained brain damage that left me unemployable and on various drugs for the rest of my life.
Work a little harder at my first degree, I lost the chance to do
I lost a virtually guaranteed and sponsored place at Oxford to complete a Doctorate on parasitology, which had been handed to me on a plate, on the proviso I gained a first-class honours degree. My lecturers were expecting me to succeed, but I failed to get the necessary first-class honours degree. Instead of devoting my time to serious revision, I'd stupidly frittered away most of the time in the months I should have been revising leading up to my final exams, going to rock and indie clubs in Manchester (Jillies and The Banshee on Oxford Road, and The Ritz, or going to concert tours at Manchester's Apollo Theatre and further afield and when not making a fool of myself on the dance floor or being deafened by the likes of Alice Cooper, Hawkwind, The Cult and other rock and Indie bands I'd be hanging out with friends in the universities British Bike club (only myself and one other actually had British bikes; mine a Triumph 500cc Tiger and my friend had the triple Trident, the rest of the club had Japanese and German bikes)

The only other thing I would change would be not to turn down the offer of a job in East Africa, running a tsetse fly control program; (thanks to my entomologist lecturer who recommended me for the job). I'd just started seeing new girlfriend at the time and was smitten, so turned down the contract, which would have seen me in Somalia for a year.

Apart from the above foolish endeavours and omissions, I've been very lucky and content, with both my social and family life.