Frightened when I babysit

Yes, I had the same fears and I used to constantly go in and check they were still breathing or touch their cheek to see if they were still warm. My husband thought I was nuts and told me to stop worrying.

For those worried about baby led weaning, that is probably a hangover from the days when ours were babies and we were told to start complementary food far too early before the baby was developmentally ready for it and you basically shoved it in and they had to swallow. Waiting until the baby can sit up in a high chair, can pick up small bits of food themselves means that they can control what goes in and what goes down unlike in the puree and spoon days, where there was a real risk of choking. A baby might gag a bit but if they do it comes out again quickly. Actual choking is very rare.
It worried me no end at the time but baby number 1 was not ready for food at the age recommended, and it was a nightmare, thankfully with baby 2 didn't bother even trying until they were that bit older and it went much more smoothly, blw before blw became a thing

I totally understand why you feel this way. When I looked after my granddaughters when they were younger I would often check on them many times a night and worry that something terrible would happen to them and then how would I tell my Daughter.
It’s a lot better now they are older, 5 & 12.
It seems such a bigger responsibility looking after Grandchildren then looking after our own children.
Try not to worry and start to enjoy being a Grandmother.

My DH and I are dreading being asked to babysit for our new grandchildren, one born 4 weeks ago at 30 weeks to our DS and his wife and one due 6 December to our DD. We didn't babysit for our first grandson when he was tiny due to Covid lockdown. We do look after him now but he is 3 so we are more relaxed but still anxious. We had IVF triplets in 1984 and lost a daughter at 13 weeks to cot death. We never enjoyed the remaining children when they were small babies as we were so frightened of it happening again. The hospital loaned us apnea alarms until they were 6 months old. These were life savers as one of us would have watched the babies all night without them. I don't want to frighten my daughter (who knows of our loss), and her husband but I am wondering whether I should suggest buying one of the Angelcare alarms mentioned in an earlier post. I am afraid that the fear has never left us.

I was fine looking after my first grandson during the day and that was fine. I don't think I had him overnight until he was six and DD was busy giving birth to his brother. He slept in bed with me and I don't remember being worried about him, although I did have a fairly sleepless night waiting for news of the baby.

I am still frightened and my grandson is 15 . He lives with us and every time he goes out on his bike I am terrified and can’t wait for him to get home. But as my son pointed out I used to let him and his brother happily go everywhere on their bikes not even wearing helmets which were not compulsory way back then. I think you are much more aware of the dangers as you get older.

I empathise with you.I brought up my two daughters successfully, yet when I first looked after my granddaughter I was very scared. Would she take her bottle? Would she sleep? Then later on the climbing frame beckoned and I was terrified.Of course I didn’t show it and braved it out, but it is a big responsibility and we love them so much.Such precious little ones. But we’ve done it before and our children trust us and know they rely on us to do our best.

I was far more worried about falling over or even dying and baby left there ?.so took my phone literally everywhere so parents could call and realise.
So relieved when DGD reached age where I could teach her how to use my phone to call for help not that we have ever needed it.

Oh gosh yes! You feel so much more responsible and just need to hand them back safe and sound. The joy of having a growing relationship with them will outweigh that initial feeling. Just enjoy your grand children, they are a blessing.

So glad it’s not just me ? When my daughter slept longer than normal I was delighted to get a break ! When my grandchildren sleep over I sleep with one eye open all night ? I’m 100% more anxious/worried about anything happening to them on my watch ?

The first thing I bought my 3 adult children when they were expecting their first child was an Angelcare baby monitor. It has a sensitive pad that you place under the mattress when the baby sleeps and if they stop breathing a loud alarm sounds. It gives you peace of mind and saves keep checking on the baby every 5 minutes. I have 6 grandchildren and I think there were a few false alarms when the baby wriggled into the corner of the cot away from the pad. But the alarm sounded, parents rushed in and all was well.

Oh, my word YES! I was exactly the same with my own two until my health visitor had a very long chat with me about anxiety and too much over thinking. Any caring parent or grandparent feels the same. I thought I was going mad but it’s normal. Just try to relax and enjoy it. Good luck. Sending a hug. X

Really, the thought they might stop breathing never even crossed my mind, either for my children or grandchildren. What did worry me was the possibility of choking so I was paranoid thinking about marbles, button batteries etc. Running into the road was another worry, so I always held their hand while walking down the road. If there were two children then myself and the older one on the outside, little one in the middle.

I was the same when my first grandchild came along and we babysat overnight. We set up a baby monitor with camera and speaker, so I could lay in bed and watch her , see and hear her breathing which reassured me. I highly recommend it to give you peace of mind.

When I babysit for our grandson he has a camera on his cot so I can check on my iPad when I’m downstairs or in bed. When he stays at ours they bring the camera with them. Saves a lot of worry.

I have found that when the little ones are staying with us I can switch back on the alert function even while sleeping that you have with your own children. Consequently if one of them rolls out of bed or wakes up momentarily and calls out I am awake straight away ready to do what ever is needed. DH, however, never hears anything!

You need a baby monitor with a pad that goes underneath the bottom sheet. If baby stops moving/breathing the alarm goes off and it's quite loud. We had one for our dgc

DGS6 has a camera trained on his cot, Chezz. The first time we babysat him I kept looking at it and noticed a dark pool all around him. We thought it was just a shadow, but when I went to check he’d been horribly sick in his sleep. That was fun, changing baby, cot and bedding in the half light when we didn’t know where all the spare stuff was, washing sick out of his hair and eyebrows without upsetting him….. He was so good, bless him. Mum and dad had only been gone 15 minutes.

First time grandma here and realizing that's 14 months old is a bundle of energy. I seem to have forgotten. Lol.

When I first looked after my grand-daughter at a few months (I now have 2 of 4 and 2), my DD provided me a with an online manual which ran to many pages and detailed instructions and images! While I laughed about it (and tbh a bit intimidated) it was very helpful.

But the most important thing my DD did was have a camera system (now 2 cameras lol). So the camera (which can moved from place to place as required) captures what GC is up to in her cot. I then have a small unit that comes on and shows a video if she moves and I can hear her make any noises. So if I'm watching tv, in bed or whatever I can relax as I know I can hear and see exactly if anything is happening with my GCs.

When my daughter had her first baby, she contracted sepsis due to problems breast feeding. It wasn’t caught as early as it should have been and baby was only a couple of weeks old.
She lived in Spain at the time so I flew over to look after the baby as she was in hospital and had to have an op so a difficult time for everyone.
Didn’t know how I would cope with a new baby after 30+ Years plus the worry about my daughter in hospital and also the language barrier as I don’t speak Spanish.
Yes, like everyone up in the night to check him, feeding bottles to fathom, routines to maintain and try to keep him cool as it was August and 40+c in the daytime. We all survived somehow and I got to quite enjoy the Spanish life
Eight years on they are back in England and all fine
I have 3 more grandchildren now but can say the worry you have for them is different to your own children.
Maybe it’s because I’m a lot older now and being in loco parent is is more scary than being a parent, but it gets easier as they get older.
I have to say even with all the angst it may bring at times along with the joy (got them all during half term next week) being a granny is better than not being able to be one.

We all think our own kids bounce…..but our grandchildren are going to die every time they draw breath! Absolutely normal ! Mine are 10 and 15 , and he’s 6 ft 1”…..I ‘babysat’ last week as parents out til one in morning…. the 10 year went to bed when told …after only a nominal complaint ….the 15 year old was supposed to be in bed at 9.30 …but as we were both watching England v.Germany on tv …. that was never gonna happen. So he was allowed a 10 pm curfew. But he would’ve gone on time if I’d insisted….but I didn’t. Big enough to make a few decisions on his own! What I’m getting at….. grandchildren are no more vulnerable than our own kids….. we just feel ‘more responsible’ and I can’t tell you why. ??‍♀️

Was going to suggest an alarm too. They are very sensitive to noise nowadays and I think there are some sensitive to movement. May help to alleviate your anxiety. I too was constantly checking on GC when left in charge, seems a normal instinct for GPs

Think we all have fears something Is going to happen but i actually bought one of them pads that if baby lays on and stops breathing a noise would alert me. I bought them one too lol because end of day your children are gifts but grandkids are rare diamonds and you will do and give them anything. I got text off my granddaughter last night saying nanna I really need your help. My mind went into overdrive as she’s couple hundred miles away and it was only to save her photos on her new phone lol she is 11.

We moved in with our daughter to help with her first child for 3 years when she went back to work as 'dad' wished no involvement. The most stressful times for me were driving the wee one to and from nursery. I clearly remember driving with my shoulders level with my ears because of tension. DH was a magnificent support in his role as chief play follower and cook. I remember vividly having my confidence shattered after being roundly told off for swaddling our very new DGD on her first day home as we were taught in the 70's... DGD was nearly 10lbs and had had a traumatic birth via emergency caesarian. I felt she needed the security. Ten years later: swaddling is back in fashion, I gather.....