Frightened when I babysit

Yes, I thought I would faint the first time I took him out. I never felt relaxed with him and even turned the car back home when I couldn't see him breathing. Since covid I don't see him much and am quite relieved!

I can understand how you feel as it is a responsibility even though you brought up your own.

the one good thing is that if it does happen it is usually at a much younger age whereas now I imagine she will be starting to stand.

I have no bright ideas for you but somebody may come along with a fabulous idea.

Enjoy looking after her if you can as she is only this age once!

I do understand. My terror came with baby led weaning msdaisy, every meal time passed in a blur of fear until I reminded myself that the little one has coughed and spluttered with his parents when being over adventurous with food and come to no harm. I think anxiety is usual, it’s definitely not the same as caring for our own children, the responsibility feels so much greater. As I understand it most sudden deaths in infants occur during the first six months, please try to relax a little. Your family trust you, now it’s time to trust yourself. If the worries continue at the level they are perhaps a chat with your GP or a health visitor might help you relax more and enjoy caring for your granddaughter. Wishing you well

You’re not the only one. I have 6 grandchildren and was very involved with the oldest two. (20 and 18 now ). When they used to sleep over here occasionally, due to both parents’ working etc, I just could not sleep. I would check them 2 or 3 times a night to see if they were breathing.

Oh yes all the time when she was a baby. The times I used to wake her up to make sure she was still breathing!

It did get better though. I think by the time she was a year old I’d stopped fretting so much

‘The times I used to wake her up to make sure she was still breathing!’ …..yes, me too ?

Strangely, we've had a conversation about this tonight. Granddaughter is 22 now. 24 first had her overnight when she was 3 weeks old. I had no sleep, checking her breathing every 5 minutes. Constantly watching the cot. As you can see, it's perfectly normal. Don't worry!

We first had her overnight not 24!

I felt quite confident as a first time mum at thirty one then thirty five. As a nan at sixty rather nervous it's a big responsibility. I helped with our premature twins it was stressful and it was nerve racking for me at first.

Ideas have changed what I did as a mum seems to be all different. No talc no cot bumpers no this no that!

Trust me you will get there it's just different as a nan it's not your baby so you are bound to be nervous. You will gain confidence trust yourself and enjoy they soon grow up.

We've had 4 of our own but the first time our DGD1 was left in our care overnight it was quite alarming.
She ended up in hospital with a serious kidney infection.
She is a fine 16 yr old now but I can quite understand your fears.

It's understandable to feel this way. My mom always said the love of a grandchildren was different than that of your own children and that you feel more responsibility for your grandchildren than your own. I didn't understand until I became a nannie. With your own you set the rules and yes you worry all the time about them but because you are always with them especially if you have more than one you don't worry so much if they fall over ,get dirty , don't want to eat etc. But with a grandchildren you have to follow their parents rules which is only right. But found myself worrying if they fall over and hurt themselves etc. The other day my daughter was here with my 2 grandson's the little ones shut his finger in a door I was worried because he got hurt at my home but my daughter just said his fine don't make a fuss. That's the difference between parents and grandparents.

So worrying about looking after grandchildren is part of being a grandparent because they aren't yours. But consider it a honour that you are trusted to take care of them I know I do when I look after them on my own.

Sounds familiar, even outside with baby asleep in the pram, I constantly checked for signs of life, even as they got older, if they slept beyond their normal time, I’d have to check them.

Cornergran, as for baby fed weaning, I just couldn’t do it, I generally stick to the rules, but that was a step too far!

I have three children of my own and I've been a registered childminder for 34 years.
I have confidently looked after countless babies, including some from only 3 months old.

But... I have worried far more when I've looked after my grandchildren!

Msdaisy what you are describing is perfectly normal.
You're doing fine and your son and daughter-in-law obviously trust you.
Try and believe in yourself and enjoy the time you have with your granddaughter ?

I wish there were more paediatric first aid courses, I did look after our 1st GC was born but there weren’t any in our area.
Choking is my biggest fear.

I was a nurse and had cared for my own children without any problems but when I had to look after first GC overnight I was on high alert all the time. I must have spent more time creeping into the nursery than I did in bed.
I think your feelings are fairly normal for a grandparent.

I think it's a common reaction, somehow it feels more of a responsibility looking after grandchildren than our own offspring. Although I can remember checking on "is the baby still breathing" if a nap was overly long and certainly checking on them in the morning if I woke up first. I realise that I had far more of a reluctance to drive my grandchildren about than I did with my own children, here there and everywhere when they were growing up. Even now I only do it if I absolutely have to with the grandchildren, I realised when they were very small I feel overwhelmed by that particular responsibility more than anything else.

I did when first looking after Gdd1 as a baby - I was 67. Used to think e.g. ‘What if I had a stroke and dropped dead while she was in the bath - or I dropped her while coming down stairs?’

Pleased to say that these thoughts did pass, though! I do hope yours will, too. I dare say it’s normal to worry more about someone else’s child than you ever did for your own - that was the case for me, anyway.

When my grandson was a baby and we were asked to have him 2 days a week when his mum went back to work I told my DiL that I was going to do a First Aid course just to give me a little refresher as I had done one 15 years before. She thought it was a great idea and so did her mum who was having the baby two days too. All the grandparents and my DiL ended up doing the course and it was so reassuring to have done so.

If you are apprehensive about looking after the baby please find training in your area.

I think it is fairly common, I worry much more about my two little grandsons (1&4) than I ever did with my own children. Do you have a baby monitor? my son has one where you can see them sleeping and hear them snuffling if you turn the sound right up

Yes, and I think this is normal, so long as you can deal with it and learn that your fears are not justified. It’s because you love her so much and it’s partly the responsibility of looking after someone else’s precious baby xx Hopefully in time these fears will lessen then pass

I think we've all been there. All grannies grow out of it - you will too x

Having had a near miss with one of my own children at 8 weeks I have bought all my grandchildren an Angel Baby monitor from birth
Parents delighted as quite costly and they bring it when they stay . Very reassuring!

@grammaretto that must have been very traumatic for you.
Babyled weaning is fabulous but quite messy. Once my dil started it with dgs and dgg it was so clear what the pluses are. Kids are so quick to learn and seeing them control what goes in and how is great.
It's one of the things I explain about in my Grantenatal class for grandparents (as well as why we don't use talc, baby bath soap, cot bumpers...)

I think this proves you're a very safe grandma! It's natural to be "on guard" with a little one specially GK! We can afford to miss some snooze time and it's time well spent making sure that little ones are safe. I used to fret when I saw holiday pics of 9month old GD in Thailand being handed amongst some in-law relatives!! I had a nightmare about her being stolen and sold!! How nuts is that?!? It's the natural way of things to be vigilant and alert, well-done you?