Is this normal, usual, unusual, barmy or sensible??

Obviously, you are reacting to the traumatic news that the cancer is back and that is completely normal and understandable.

Frankly, it does not matter a jot whether other people find leaving your husband to deal with the workmen on his own is reasonable or not. This is your way of coping right now, so it is the way things have to be.

It matters that your husband recognises this and can understand and cope. With the workmen, with your illness and hard time dealing with it, and with his own anxiety on your behalf.

Whether he shows it or not, he will be worried about your health too.

You are coping as you best can, and so is he, so please, don't make things harder for either of you by blaming yourself for "running away, leaving him to cope." Just concentrate on your recovery. If you haven't already done so, contact one of the help-lines for breast cancer sufferers - there is understanding and help to be found there.

You are just right getting out of the way of the upheaval and stress workmen bring with them. You have enough to deal with without adding the work on your house to it. Take care of yourself and all the best for your recovery.

I had to have new central heating installed a few months ago. I was told 2 days to install, fine . When the workers arrived they had already decided it would take at least 4 days. I have a small 1 bedroom council house. It was the best idea to go to my daughter's with my 2 dogs during the day and let them get on with it. ( My daughter lives 10 minutes away.) The heating got installed in 4 days but if the workers had worked all day it would have been done on 2 days as they decided to down tools and leave around lunchtime each day. That's council for you I was told. I was glad I wasn't there. Incidentally I am not unwell. Sorry Kateybrunch for your recent diagnosis. I hope you are not finding the treatment too upsetting.

I worked with my DH part time on the business and office work at home. I dealt with everything domestic including work men for all manner of jobs. Since my DH retired I leave anything like that to him to deal with. Deliveries of white goods etc waiting for hours for them not to turn up! I did it for years and I don't feel guilty about it my time is my own.

Thank you…..hubby is happy to deal with it. I have arranged to visit a friend for a few hours, then will wander round the shops till ‘they’ve’ gone. Nice to know I am not alone in feeling like this, but having read the responses, I will just accept its normal for me lol. Thank you for the good wishes regarding my treatment. I had a right mastectomy in March (left mastectomy with first diagnosis 4 years ago), still have problems with my wound, scar and swelling and of course fatigue, but getting there and ‘trying’ to be kind to myself, thanks all 😊

Why not !! Go out and enjoy yourself, you deserve it being so unwell ..

You do whatever feels right for you. Take care of yourself and everything will fall into place and enjoy the refurbishing of your nest (Home)…

I always feel exactly the same. It fidgets me to be around while people are working-I like to come home and find the job done!

Why not treat yourself to a spa day to help deal with the "not staying in" problem. May help you to destress about the work and a that's going on in your life. Just look forward to when all the work is done, be like a new house by the sounds of it.

KateyKrunch Iam exactly the same. I just Cannot stand work being done in the house, if I absolutely HAVE to be there, I feel edgy and uncomfortable as though I am the stranger, I cannot settle, can't work on my laptop por watch telly or just carry on normal life, I feel ODD like I'm just playing at doing that stuff until the house is mine again and Ia can relax. I too think I'm weird when my relatives all find it quite cheery having workers in their homes, all chat along amiable and get on with their own stuff. Even my face aches as I'm so tense

Sorry for typos, no workman to blame..just me !!

Katey i completely get that ! I have cancer too and frankly I can manage very little stress, my brain is 80% occupied with the cancer and I have very little “ headspace “ for anything else! ( I’m supposed to be booking some flights but am scared of getting it wrong so that will be passed on to someone else……..I would do exactly the same as you, and chuck in a massage or facial too.

This is a time when you should only think of yourself and your own needs. Going through cancer treatment is enough to be getting on with.
Just concentrate on getting better and never feel guilty about leaving others to sort things out.
I wish you well 💐

Sounds perfectly sensible to me. You've got enough stress in your life without the addition of workmen and banging. I was at the point of going out today. Workmen in the flat upstairs and me trying to do really important paperwork. It was either scream or get out but just as I reached that point the noise stopped. Bliss

It's not at all barmy to want to get out of the house when it's noisy and disruptive and you can't relax especially when you are not 100%. Go and enjoy yourself!

It looks as though we are all of the same opinion here. My husband isn’t bothered by people doing things in the house - in fact if I leave him alone my worry is that he will interfere but at least I won’t be here to see it. I leave them a tray and and show them the kettle. I find being here very unsettling and can usually find something to “crop up” on the day in question.
I thought it was just me, but obviously not.

Katey I wish you all the best for your treatment. Enjoy your day out!

Hate, hate, hate having workmen in my home. I never leave them to it now. Had them sitting on the sofa in filthy clothes, eating their lunch and treading mud everywhere and the kitchen looked like a dirty bomb had dropped. Never again!

And I meant to wish you the very best with your recovery.

I am the opposite - got to be there to make sure they do not do anything daft!! - control freak, that's me!

I am sorry Katey that you are needing further treatment - I sincerely hope that it goes well and will soon be over and done with.

Sounds perfect to me!

I would be the same, I think. Disappear till it's done! Get well soon. 💐

Although, my daughter is handing over her key to the builder while she goes away for 5 days! I'm trying to convince her that this is unwise and too trusting. I would never do that.

If I could leave somebody here to keep an eye on things - I'd be off out too. It's just immensely aggravating having builders in - the noise, dust, disruption etc. I find quite unbearable.

Thanks again all for the good wishes. I had a lovely time visiting my friend for the day, I got back for the last hour of the carpet fitting, I was brave lol, I couldn't have dealt with being here for the preceding 7 hours, but from reading your responses it is perfectly natural to feel this way and I was sensible to avoid the anx. Carpets look lovely and that is last of the work we had had to delay…….now to deal with all that carpet fluff lol 😆

I'm pleased you are happy with the carpets 😀. It's lovely getting changes like that made - enjoy them.

Good luck with the rest of the treatment.