Wedding invite

If the boogying and drinking is more important to you that attending the wedding can you not just tell them how lovely it is to be invited but you can only attend the evening disco. Perhaps they have not invited others that they may have wanted to because of number restrictions for the actual wedding and wedding breakfast. Enjoy it whatever you decide.

Surely being at your Nephew’s wedding ceremony is the most important part of the day to be present at. Then I’m sure you’d love seeing family at the wedding breakfast. By all means make your excuses following that part of the celebrations, or you could try a few hours at the evening do. Nobody will be upset if you head off mid evening. Enjoy seeing your Nephew marry!

Very rude to miss the cermony and then go to the breakfast and disco. Couple might think you are attending just for the food.

Phone your nephew and explain that neither of you are able any longer to keep going until midnight. Ask if he and his bride would mind if you came to the service and part of the wedding breakfast, leaving around 7 or 8 p.m. to drive home.

If he and his fiancée are all right with this, you will admittedly still have the time from the end of the wedding ceremony to the start of the breakfast.

I don't know how long that gap is, it depends very much on whether they are marrying before the registrar, or in church, where the length of the ceremony depends on the church.

As far as I recall most Protestant wedding take half to three-quarters of an hour, where a full Catholic nuptial mass takes around an hour and a half - I think mine lasted a full two hours.

If you can't afford the expense of a hotel room for a short rest before during the time-gap, you could, if the wedding is on a Saturday or a week-day go to the reading room of the nearest public library and sit there. It will be quiet there, or find a tea-room.

Are the no relatives of your nephew living near him, who might offer you house-room for a rest before the wedding breakfast?

Might add that if it were me I would hate to miss the ceremony and a chance to wish them well. Meet others celebrating the day with them and a nice meal speeches etc These days with all that there is to concider when planning weddings if someone cares enough to want me there I would move heaven and earth to be there. At weddings a lot leave before the very end of the days events so no one would think anything of it if I left a little early. The day wouldn't have been about me after all.

I think there would have been a time when transport arrangements would have been arranged for those in their 70s and above. Reminds me when we were marooned in the centre of a market town at midnight after a young relative's wedding. All taxis were taken up by the young folk. We had to walk about two miles uphill to the hotel in the wee sma' hours...

I think it would be rude to turn up for celebrations and not attend the service. I’d go to the ceremony then leave wedding breakfast half way through like others have said

hilz

If the boogying and drinking is more important to you that attending the wedding can you not just tell them how lovely it is to be invited but you can only attend the evening disco. Perhaps they have not invited others that they may have wanted to because of number restrictions for the actual wedding and wedding breakfast. Enjoy it whatever you decide.

Good point Hilz. Just to turn up in the evening would be extremely rude unless you ask if that’s ok. The wedding breakfast will be expensive and the young couple may well have restricted numbers.

Yes, go to the ceremony as that’s the part that’s important to the couple.
Also it’s easier to slip away later on than making an entrance later on. Once things get into the swing your presence will probably not be so noticeable and that will make it easier to leave. I’m sure your nephew will understand.

I would choose not to drink so that you have the freedom to leave and drive when you’ve had enough.
Just do the best you can.

Sorry , but in my family that would be considered very rude. The ceremony is the important part. It would be perfectly acceptable to go to the breakfast and then leave and they are probably expecting you to do that, you don't see too many people in their 70s at a late night disco.

I'm attending a wedding in May which thank goodness has no gaps.

The service is at 14.30 followed by the breakfast at a nearby venue, which then seamlessly merges into the evening reception of dancing, drinks, midnight snacks and finishes at 01.00.

I'll pace myself!

The ceremony, of course, is the most important part, not the eating... so attend that, and something before or after it.

I doubt that your nephew would expect everyone to stay the course until midnight to be honest, particularly those in their senior years.
You have been invited to his wedding so I think it is appropriate to go to the ceremony and the wedding breakfast and then leave the venue at a respectable time. Certainly no need to stay all night.

As a diabetic I need to eat at regular times, at weddings with timetables like this I go to it all. But I take a sandwich to eat whilst awaiting the meal!

Ceremony and wedding breakfast are surely the most important parts of the day. If I felt I would be struggling I'd either leave after the breakfast or the party early. 4 pm breakfast - disco won't start until at least 6 pm and no doubt there will be a little supper midway to midnight. I'd make up my mind and if not attending the party or leaving early I'd let your nephew know so they don't pay a service charge for you.

Think it would be rude to skip the ceremony.

I'd opt for the ceremony and nosh.

Why would you want to go to a disco in your mid 70s?

I’m in the process of issuing invites to a wedding and would think it terribly rude if any of our guests just turned up for the food and dancing

I would do the ceremony and some of the 4pm start leaving about 8 or 9pm but that’s your choice. You don’t say whether things are taking place in two venues or just one. What are the bride and groom and others doing after the disco? More information needed really before I can make a more considered suggestion. Some people only get asked for the evening!

I'm with the majority in that I think the formalities far outweigh the social side. However, having said that, you might find your pleasure in the evening disco stimulates you enough to carry on longer than you imagine. Certainly hope so. Good luck and enjoy.

mousemac

Think it would be rude to skip the ceremony.

I'd opt for the ceremony and nosh.

Why would you want to go to a disco in your mid 70s?

Exactly as above.. I’m sure it will not come as a surprise for the couple to see many of the older guests leaving around 8 or 9

It would be rude - it looks as though your interest is purely in the food/beverage and the socialising rather than in the wedding of the two young people. Presumably as family members you would feature on the large family photograph after the wedding - it would be very obvious what choice you had made. I would go to the wedding, the breakfast, and manage as much of the rest of the day as you can before leaving.

Definitely go to the ceremony, that is the most important part. It’s a pity there’s no accommodation close by as you could have gone for a nap and recharged, this is what my mum did at my sons wedding but then we all had rooms at the venue. See how you’re feeling as the day and night progress, you might get a second wind and manage to stay for a dance.

Further to my earlier answer, if you really don’t want to go to the ceremony (which it seems that you don’t), don’t go to the Wedding Breakfast either.
Just the disco.
Otherwise it just looks like free loading.

Has the op actually come back?
These threads make me wonder, they really do

Sacha, they do intend to stay for a dance, the op said that it’s her favourite part

I would goto the ceremony and leave around 9pm
Bit rude to just turn up for the Wedding Breakfast imo