Feeling upset by text messages

Palmtree A well known saying comes to mind...theres nowt so queer as folk. I guess don't bother with non response ones and fuse that time to do something enjoyable.

I meant use !!

The cell is a personal tool for communication, for our personal convenience

This is another point of generational conflict - different communication methods and etiquette

Yes I am odd but why do we need to be in constant communication?

I'm odd, too, but I'm not going to apologise for it 😄

Palmtree Why not give your friend a ring now, she may have a reason for not texting back (although you may not agree with her reason). But at least it will get you out of limbo.

I often forget my phone when I go out. When I'm home it is usually upstairs, sometimes in my handbag, and I rarely bother with it. I'm not particularly chatty anyway, and don't feel the need to always be in contact with people - if MrA wasn't here I probably wouldn't talk to anyone for days 😄 So I may or may not answer a text quickly. My friends and family know to contact MrA if anything is urgent and that's very rare.

Sometimes somebody other than me reads my text before I get to it if I am busy so I don't notice I have had a new one. I'd never leave anybody hanging deliberately but sometimes life gets in the way and my memory is winding down!

I get upset and irked when others don’t respond to texts and WhatsApp’s. I find it very rude and bad mannered and I’m a stickler for good manners. People can’t be expected to respond immediately but not to respond to a text informing someone of a bereavement is extremely poor. Unless there’s a good reason I wouldn’t bother with them again.

Ps sorry for your loss

I agree that lack of reply is rude, but there's a lot of it about.

Not a fan of text being used to have a conversation. If I feel I need immediate reply then I would simply phone or face time and have a conversation. So much of a text can be mis interpreted. Some days I don't check my phone very often, working on the theory that if someone needs a reply from me quickly and hasn't had a reply to their message then they will call me.

With bereavements I always telephone any close friends or relatives. For anyone else I either post the details on Facebook or add a note to their next Christmas or birthday card.

My phone sometimes really annoys me! I've got it on low volume and I'm certainly not one of those people who have it almost glued to their hand. I do always reply to texts though eventually 😂

Really I need a new phone but cba to look as they are all so big.

I prefer Facebook and forums like these, to pass on messages, because the phone is too fiddly for me, and I keep making errors.

i have a mobile that i seldom use, i have a house phone that you can leave a message if it is important (i understand that a lot of people no longer have a house phone) my mobile was sort of forced on me by my son after i became very ill, i only take it out with me because my bank card is in it and it has a tracker so my son knows where i am and that is fine with me. i do not always get my text messages as i am in a bad area or the phone is off or i just forget to look at it. your friend just might not have known what to say to you and sometimes a text message come across wrong. as someone else has said not everyone is attached to there phone, my ds and dil have it in there hand all the time. please don't cut off a friend ship because of this, my dad wont text and his motto is, if it is that important then you can call me. i am so sorry for your loss, lots of hugs.

Some of my family don't bother replying to messages from me but I can see they have read them.
2 of my adult children will always reply the other might just ignore you. My DIL is the same. I know she had an operation a few weeks ago but didn't reply when I asked how she was getting on. But she put a joke on FB a few minutes after so I know she's ok ish. Same when we offered to call in to help when she came out of hospital. Message sent before she had the op. No reply which I found really rude. It doesn't take a minute to say no thanks my mum's gonna help me does it. Her mum moved in but she could have replied.
I don't bother messaging her anymore.

I’m always disappointed BUT also my expectations are completely and utterly unrealistically high and I’m stupid about replying immediately to others too !!

It's so easy to miss a text. If I don't have time to respond sometimes I don't click on the text for several days, so if you didn't say in the first line or two that you'd had this loss, the person might not realise. Also, if a text is really important (like that one was) I may put off answering until I have time to do it properly. What do you say in a text that's adequate to mark a bereavement? You may find a lovely card from this person drops through your door soon - that's what I would have done. Sorry for your loss, take care and try not to take this too hard.

If I am speaking to my 91 year old mother on the landline and a text message comes through on her phone, I have to wait until she has read it and then replied! Very frustrating! Where as I can send a text to my son and he will often take days to reply. I suppose it just depends on how busy the other person is. I usually reply straight away.

most of my friends are very old or dead. I personally dislike texts and as i am not very tech savvy i dont use them .The elderly frequently dont l;ike texts and like me just ignore them.

An old friend I hadn't heard from or seen in many years contacted me. I replied back with a lengthy message asking about her and her family, and how nice it was to hear from her after such a long time etc etc. Did she reply back? No! I thought what was the point of her contacting me in the beginning then!!!
Another a distant cousin, I added as a friend on Facebook (which I very rarely use) she accepted, sent me a message asking how I was etc, again I replied back asking of her & her family etc etc. She didn't reply back either!

I use WhatsApp for messaging my family. My daughter replies all the time but my son often ignores a message which annoys me!

I’m very sorry for your loss. Notifying a friend of this news with no response is very insensitive. A few lines of condolence from someone even if they aren’t “friend” material anymore shows a real lack of compassion.

I would leave that ball in their court. If you never hear back, you may not have had a real friend.

Regarding texting - rule #1 - people cannot always respond immediately, or in a day, or… we don’t know what their situation is.

Try not to fret over this. Try to not depend solely on texting to keep a relationship, friendship going. It takes more than that.
Cheers!
USA Gundy

sazz1

Some of my family don't bother replying to messages from me but I can see they have read them.
2 of my adult children will always reply the other might just ignore you. My DIL is the same. I know she had an operation a few weeks ago but didn't reply when I asked how she was getting on. But she put a joke on FB a few minutes after so I know she's ok ish. Same when we offered to call in to help when she came out of hospital. Message sent before she had the op. No reply which I found really rude. It doesn't take a minute to say no thanks my mum's gonna help me does it. Her mum moved in but she could have replied.
I don't bother messaging her anymore.

That is rude sazz1. But my DIL has ignored my messages too in the past. Not all but some and like you I know she's not busy etc as she's posted on fb.

tickingbird

I get upset and irked when others don’t respond to texts and WhatsApp’s. I find it very rude and bad mannered and I’m a stickler for good manners. People can’t be expected to respond immediately but not to respond to a text informing someone of a bereavement is extremely poor. Unless there’s a good reason I wouldn’t bother with them again.

Ps sorry for your loss

Hear! Hear!

Palmtree it could have been me writing your message! I am exactly the same but I'm trying to be the same as others and not reply right away.Its really hard and I feel dreadful but I think that people have busy times and so do I so unless it's something urgent I'm going to reply when I feel like it.

A lot of people have literally no idea how to react to the news of a bereavement these days, so they do nothing.

This is extremely hurtful to those of us who were brought up to express sympathy either in writing or face to face the first time we saw members of the deceased person's family or circle of friends.

There is not a lot you can do about it.
Whilst I was teaching I told older pupils when the subject came up, which it could well, as I both taught English literature and Religious Instruction, that the only thing you must never do is to do nothing. Any expression of sympathy such as I was sorry to hear your sad news cost nothing to say and may mean the world to the person you say it to.

You are justified in asking those who did not reply to your text whether they actually saw it, next time you meet them.

Regarding more mundane texts that go unanswered, I assume the person I texted had been too busy to answer. Not very polite, by the standards of our generation, but acceptable, as far as I can gather, by those younger than ourselves.

Not a lot of point in mentioning that kind of negligence. If you really do need an answer. phone and ask for one.

People have so much going on in their lives that they don't necessarily tell you about. Yes it's polite to reply but speaking from experience replying to a text is the last thing on a person's mind sometimes when things are really bad. People aren't obliged to respond I just shrug it off if I don't get a response. I certainly don't judge because I don't know what's happening in the world of the person I sent the text to. I think you are being too touchy but that is only my opinion