Feeling upset by text messages

Leaving texts in read status is not rude - I call it triaging and prioritizing.

If people need a reply faster, they can call me

A lot of people (particularly younger ones) don't like the intrusion of a call, and prefer text-based communication.

I don't expect instant replies, but being left on read for ages is rude, IMO. I always reply, and expect replies to texts I send, unless they are obviously statements for info.

Another issue with texts/messengerWhatsApp is that someone has to end a conversation or they go on for ever. The thumbs up emoji can seem dismissive, but not 'signing off' can make people feel that they've been snubbed, or that they are hanging on waiting for a reply. For me, it depends on who I'm talking to. I might just leave a couple of kisses, or say something like 'see you tomorrow', or 'great to catch up - talk soon' if things are dragging on. If it's a close friend/daughter/sister I might be honest and say I'm off now as Happy Valley is starting, or something,

Thanks again for all your replies. It's been so interesting to discover what you all think is rude and bad mannered with regards to text messages or not as the case may be. Also about the possibility that some texts can be lost or forgotten.I don't feel upset any more.We all have such different ideas and it seems there aren't really any set 'rules'. I still personally think kindness/good manners should come first though. I will ask my 'friend' if she ever read my message if/when I see her. I shan't go out of my way to be texting her any more though.

This all comes down away to different communication styles and generational expectations (in some cases)

My kids never reply to text messages straight away as they are working….so they turn their mobiles onto DND….. until it’s either lunch break or work is over for day. So the message is not picked up immediately as it’s on silent! Quite right too ….I only stopped work five years ago and we were never allowed our mobiles on us . They had to be left in the office …quite right as you’re there to work!! Now I’m amazed to see shop workers chatting on their phones while serving customers!

If it's a single message or a question, it needs answering. If it's a desultory conversation, someone has to end it or it could go on and on:
See you on Tuesday...
Yes, Tuesday...
Looking forward to it...
Me too...
Bye for now, then...
Yes bye....
Can't wait 😊 .....
I agree...
See you then...
Yes...
xxx xxx
XOXO
😉
🙋
X
👍

Hello palm tree, I definitely feel your upset. My reasons, are, last year a family member was bereft at losing their spouse. I was available every night and day for six months. Then winter came, I was in hospital a lot. Only one visit from them, while I listened to all their problems. No help for me, after second hosp visit. No visitors Xmas week. And this family member laughing when I told her I was ill again. Either shes got dementia, or is just unfeeling and doesnt care about me. Never answered my phone calls, it took up to 6 hours to answer my text. You sound like my sort of friend. Thank God theres people like us in the world. I now deserve a holiday. And I no longer answer the phone to her. Karma that's what it is...

I don’t reply to all texts unless one is warranted otherwise you get into texting ping pong! I don’t always reply straight away not do I expect an immediate reply. I am wary of what is in the text as they can sometimes be taken the wrong way, I also don’t abbreviate words, text talk is awful IMHO!!!

Chardy

I agree that lack of reply is rude, but there's a lot of it about.

I used to find it very rude, especially from family, and DH still does. I asked my DD and she said they get so many from friends' work etc. in a day, mum and dads just get lost among them.
Now I tell myself I will eventually hear from the ones that really matter and stop worrying.
When I lost my mother I announced in an old-fashioned way and put an announcement in her local newspaper, phoning and texting the ones whose numbers I had. I heard from some.
I just say well I did my best and you should too. Try and ignore what you think is rude or you will be called a dinosaur like I was. Condolences

I never expect a reply to emails, etc. and tell people so - especially the grandchildren. The worry about what to say when you are not used to expressing concern or condolensces or simply find writing difficult to manage for whateveer reason, just makes life more pressured. I've always found it very difficult, resenting getting post that demanded a reply and worrying about the weight of guilt as I found putting words in order when writing, very difficult. Then recently it has suddenly become easier - I don't know why unless it is just the being retired with fewer demands on my time, I can focus my attention differently.

I would hate to make those demands on my friends & family and saddle them with the guilt, though I reply to contacts as soon as I can now.