Gifts of alcohol and chocolates!

Or even worse people who ( like me) are struggling with their weight and have cut out the two items mentioned - with difficulty!

I should perhaps add that I am not the recipient but s very good friend is. She has had a really grim time lately with her health, something that our close circle of friends know about. I really felt for her when she opened three gifts yesterday; a litre of gin, a bottle of Prosecco and a huge box of (not very nice) chocolates....all these from people who know what she is going through. I was furious and they just giggled with fake embarrassment, no doubt hoping she would open one of the bottles. But they were out of luck as she just put them away and announced that they would be donated to the church fete in the summer. Nice one!

she just put them away and announced that they would be donated to the church fete in the summer.

That’s the way to do it!

I am not diabetic but I tell the same friend of over forty years not to buy me chocolates or biscuits. What do I get at Christmas? chocolate and biscuits! I only like chocolate liquors but never get them so I buy them for myself as a treat occasionally. I don't buy biscuits for myself I make shortbread. The food bank benefits with these treats now.

It is knowing what to get when you know you cannot buy chocolates or wine - although I am not sure I would give anyone a litre of gin, unless I knew they very specifically wanted it, and even then - a litre?

I give flowers, but even they can be problematic.

I have psoriasis and very sensitive skin and people keep buying me toiletries which they know I can't use.

I receive boxes of chocolates which I do not like. I think the next time I will hand them back, smile sweetly and say I have been newly diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic.

I would prefer an ordinary bar of soap. As a joke my nephew wasted money on a joke bath plug and I do not possess a bath.

I know exactly what you mean. My SILS sister had often bought me biscuits knowing I am diabetic. Her husband has been diagnosed with diabetes as well and she is evangelical over what he can have but doesn’t think of others

Chocs and wine are so easy to choose and send, I think people just lose inspiration in end! I bought a beautiful fruit bowl and a fruit basket for a friend who had recently had a coronary ‘episode’. He couldn’t have been more pleased with it! I’d somehow chosen a pattern whose colours fitted with the colour scheme of the newly-built kitchen extension!

PamQS my husband has been following the Slimming World programme very seriously and has lost nearly six stones.
For his last birthday our son and his girlfriend made him a lovely basket of fruit, which he really appreciated 🙂

Sadly my MIL eats sweets, desserts, biscuits and cakes on a regular basis even though she is diabetic. She calls them "treats" but it's on a daily basis. Any gifts of chocolates - she will eat them.

She had major diabetic related complications 3 years ago but she's not changed her ways. She is very stubborn.

I know what you mean it is annoying I just donate on

I am so with you all on this. I am a diabetic and persistently receive wine and chocolates from friends, and some family, who know this. At first I accepted so as not to offend, and re-gifted to my non-diabetic friends and family. But that just led them to believe I was OK with the presents.

Now, I receive, open straight away and share out amongst the non-diabetics in the company, and pointedly do not partake. When questioned I simply say "Oh sorry! I obviously haven't told you I'm diabetic. Can't have any of this, but you enjoy".

The thing is, they all know I have a passion for gardening and feeding the birds - a bag of bird seed, a pot plant, a gardening token, another bird feeder, some bulbs, packets of seeds....the list is endless and all highly acceptable.

It's easy they don't think, they see the advertisements or shop displays and buy.
I am allergic to lanolin and used to getting loads of body lotion and bubble bath. All have to be kept and donated to a cause where they can not be identified.

My husband has been a Type 1 diabetic for 53 years (he has the Alan Nabarro medal for surviving for 50 years). He doesn't mind such gifts and shares them around. It's not as if people are gifting razor blades to young grandchildren!

IMO, it depends! (Not everyone is the same.) Obviously if anyone asks not to be given chocolates and alcohol, then people should respect this. Personally I only give alcohol or chocs if I know categorically that these are wanted & appropriate gifts.
However I've a family member who's Type 2 diabetic. They have well-controlled weight levels, etc, and aren't on injected insulin. Their medics say that alcohol (in moderation) is OK. Also that something like a chocolate or some cake again is OK - in moderation - and best eaten after a meal. As I say, I think it depends on the person.

Maybe because some people can't be bothered to think very hard about to buy somebody? And drink and chocolates maybe don't require very much thought.

I think that you are right Froglady. It's just easy to pick up alcohol and chocolates from the supermarket.

I would never give either unless I knew specifically that the recipient would like it.

Every year I receive a different perfume of a well known brand from a relative. All of their perfumes smell awful on me and I never use any of them. I have hinted and said that it doesn't suit me but every year it is the same.

I always consider very carefully about what gifts people would like.

Last year my DH bought me (actually went into a shop of his own volition and spent money) a lovely bunch of lilies, my favourite flower, and said, 'I know you don't like roses as they die immediately and I know you think delivered flowers are a waste of money when you need/want other things.' I was delighted and the lilies lasted a good week.

This year;- a bunch of roses delivered by M and S.

And he was very, very pleased with himself.

Unigran4 Some people are just thoughtless., simple.

The thing is, they all know I have a passion for gardening and feeding the birds - a bag of bird seed, a pot plant, a gardening token, another bird feeder, some bulbs, packets of seeds....the list is endless and all highly acceptable.

^ All gifts I love to give and receive.

Add in rose bushes, many people love roses.

People love to be remembered, but then get touchy if they receive items they don’t like or cannot use. (Chalk that up to someone who does not really “know” the recipient.)

On the other hand - if they really know who you are, that is just a cruel little dig and is hurtful. Real friends know each other.

If I get some nonsense, I regift or donate. Just that simple. I want to be remembered as gracious but mostly appreciate just being remembered at all! Happy Valentine’s Day!
Cheers!
USA Gundy

nadateturbe

I have psoriasis and very sensitive skin and people keep buying me toiletries which they know I can't use.

Yep. And it's the same people who tell you they don't want x or y brand as it makes them itch.

Actually does anyone have the family member who, when asked of there's anything they'd particularly like, rolls off a long list of thi gs they don't want.
Who then turns round and says you are difficult to buy for?

If anyone gets me flowers - they find that I'll put them in a vase - on the garden table (allergies). Smellies go to the charity shop (same allergies) Non-flowering plants are ok, but I have way too many.

Chocolates? They are usually passed on (and vegan ones are rarely that nice). Alcohol, passed on, as none of us drink (or maybe kept for visitors).

Why do they do it? I suppose they don't want to arrive empty handed - but still, they keep repeating and never do learn! Biscuits, though, are fine (if vegan) as the grandkids really do like them.