Gifts of alcohol and chocolates!

Thanks Jeanie. So it wasn't a literal "no thank you".

nadateturbe

^....I love the "no thank you" your friend gave.^
Which post was this?

The third one, on the first page!

So many wonderful gifts available,I take great pleasure in hunting down something I know the person will love & use,especially if people have things they can’t have,that’s half the fun & challenge.

....I love the "no thank you" your friend gave.
Which post was this?

And then there are those who give two bottles of red wine to an alcoholic who is doing his level best to stay of any kind of booze!

Or to his wife with the words, "I know your DH doesn't drink, but you can enjoy the wine, can't you?

"No, I cannot, as I would not be crass enough to sit drinking anything that he cannot enjoy!"

Why can these kind people, and they do mean it kindly, not take the trouble to find out whether what they propose giving is acceptable or not? They could ask in advance if there is anything we are allergic to.

I mean I don't hand a dish mainly made of pork to my Muslim or Jewish friends or take it with me to their houses.

As someone who was born in February I regularly used to receive chocolates, wine or biscuits knowing they were the left-over trash from Christmas. I have put it in facebook that us poor after Christmas babes always receive the remnants of Christmas. I always donate wine (don't drink) or chocolates to the food bank. They are thoughtless and when you are born after Christmas they were the left over rubbish that's being fobbed off on you. So annoying.

My DH is type 2 diabetic and with caution, can enjoy wine, eat chocolate, cakes etc., so not everyone is about to plunge into a diabetic coma by having a glass of wine or a couple of chocolates. He does not inject, takes metformin.

....I love the "no thank you" your friend gave. I am assuming that you gave her a sensible gift... the chocolates might go bad by the time the fair comes around... so if you are close to her, hint that you would gladly take them and get her abnother box, closer to the time, to donate (or a book).

My brother who has bought us all a tin of (the cheapest) biscuits since the 70s, has been known to tell our mum to buy his wife gloves, and they must be leather, and has asked her to change presents because she wouldn't wear anything from 'that' shop.

Someone did once give me my favourite No7 for Christmas but it was the freebies bag you get with purchases!

My Mum used to meet a group of others regularly each bringing something and picking something

If anyone gets me flowers - they find that I'll put them in a vase - on the garden table (allergies). Smellies go to the charity shop (same allergies) Non-flowering plants are ok, but I have way too many.

Chocolates? They are usually passed on (and vegan ones are rarely that nice). Alcohol, passed on, as none of us drink (or maybe kept for visitors).

Why do they do it? I suppose they don't want to arrive empty handed - but still, they keep repeating and never do learn! Biscuits, though, are fine (if vegan) as the grandkids really do like them.

Actually does anyone have the family member who, when asked of there's anything they'd particularly like, rolls off a long list of thi gs they don't want.
Who then turns round and says you are difficult to buy for?

nadateturbe

I have psoriasis and very sensitive skin and people keep buying me toiletries which they know I can't use.

Yep. And it's the same people who tell you they don't want x or y brand as it makes them itch.

People love to be remembered, but then get touchy if they receive items they don’t like or cannot use. (Chalk that up to someone who does not really “know” the recipient.)

On the other hand - if they really know who you are, that is just a cruel little dig and is hurtful. Real friends know each other.

If I get some nonsense, I regift or donate. Just that simple. I want to be remembered as gracious but mostly appreciate just being remembered at all! Happy Valentine’s Day!
Cheers!
USA Gundy

Unigran4 Some people are just thoughtless., simple.

The thing is, they all know I have a passion for gardening and feeding the birds - a bag of bird seed, a pot plant, a gardening token, another bird feeder, some bulbs, packets of seeds....the list is endless and all highly acceptable.

^ All gifts I love to give and receive.

Add in rose bushes, many people love roses.

Last year my DH bought me (actually went into a shop of his own volition and spent money) a lovely bunch of lilies, my favourite flower, and said, 'I know you don't like roses as they die immediately and I know you think delivered flowers are a waste of money when you need/want other things.' I was delighted and the lilies lasted a good week.

This year;- a bunch of roses delivered by M and S.

And he was very, very pleased with himself.

I think that you are right Froglady. It's just easy to pick up alcohol and chocolates from the supermarket.

I would never give either unless I knew specifically that the recipient would like it.

Every year I receive a different perfume of a well known brand from a relative. All of their perfumes smell awful on me and I never use any of them. I have hinted and said that it doesn't suit me but every year it is the same.

I always consider very carefully about what gifts people would like.

Maybe because some people can't be bothered to think very hard about to buy somebody? And drink and chocolates maybe don't require very much thought.

IMO, it depends! (Not everyone is the same.) Obviously if anyone asks not to be given chocolates and alcohol, then people should respect this. Personally I only give alcohol or chocs if I know categorically that these are wanted & appropriate gifts.
However I've a family member who's Type 2 diabetic. They have well-controlled weight levels, etc, and aren't on injected insulin. Their medics say that alcohol (in moderation) is OK. Also that something like a chocolate or some cake again is OK - in moderation - and best eaten after a meal. As I say, I think it depends on the person.

My husband has been a Type 1 diabetic for 53 years (he has the Alan Nabarro medal for surviving for 50 years). He doesn't mind such gifts and shares them around. It's not as if people are gifting razor blades to young grandchildren!

It's easy they don't think, they see the advertisements or shop displays and buy.
I am allergic to lanolin and used to getting loads of body lotion and bubble bath. All have to be kept and donated to a cause where they can not be identified.

I am so with you all on this. I am a diabetic and persistently receive wine and chocolates from friends, and some family, who know this. At first I accepted so as not to offend, and re-gifted to my non-diabetic friends and family. But that just led them to believe I was OK with the presents.

Now, I receive, open straight away and share out amongst the non-diabetics in the company, and pointedly do not partake. When questioned I simply say "Oh sorry! I obviously haven't told you I'm diabetic. Can't have any of this, but you enjoy".

The thing is, they all know I have a passion for gardening and feeding the birds - a bag of bird seed, a pot plant, a gardening token, another bird feeder, some bulbs, packets of seeds....the list is endless and all highly acceptable.

I know what you mean it is annoying I just donate on

Sadly my MIL eats sweets, desserts, biscuits and cakes on a regular basis even though she is diabetic. She calls them "treats" but it's on a daily basis. Any gifts of chocolates - she will eat them.

She had major diabetic related complications 3 years ago but she's not changed her ways. She is very stubborn.

PamQS my husband has been following the Slimming World programme very seriously and has lost nearly six stones.
For his last birthday our son and his girlfriend made him a lovely basket of fruit, which he really appreciated 🙂