Safeguarding Concerns - what happens after one is reported.

I would think that in this situation it is always better for more than one person or agency to have made a referral than to make an assumption that it has been done. I hope it gets resolved quickly Kittylester

I agree with Calipso it will reiterate that it’s urgent and bring it back to the fore so yes I would if it’s as bad as you believe and who knows if it’s got lost amongst the many issues the hospital will be dealing with

I don't think it would hurt to ring Social Services. I seem to remember this has happened before and she had got away. As Calipso says maybe the more people who ring the more notice they will take.

This has been going on for years - decades even - as you say dragonfly. But, despite raising concerns, nothing changes.

My query is really about what we might see, aftera referral, in practical terms? Would someone go to see her?

Like lots of victims of domestic abuse she believes it's her fault and she should just learn to stop upsetting him - and her father agrees.

I m not sure how a hospital would work but a friend of mine reported an ex who was putting her and her children through hell to the police and they acted very quickly putting in emergency button for her and banning him from going anywhere near her
The trouble is if the hospital send SS or police to talk to her she will not press any charges she will say she’s fine so it will probably all be pointless

How sad that her father is not supporting her. If it were my child I would be tempted to take her home and not let her out again until her partner was prosecuted.
I hope you can get things sorted out permanently this time.

kittylester

This has been going on for years - decades even - as you say dragonfly. But, despite raising concerns, nothing changes.

My query is really about what we might see, aftera referral, in practical terms? Would someone go to see her?

Like lots of victims of domestic abuse she believes it's her fault and she should just learn to stop upsetting him - and her father agrees.

Are the police involved, kittylester?

Like lots of victims of domestic abuse she believes it's her fault and she should just learn to stop upsetting him - and her father agrees.
That's dreadful, it is not her fault and that's just not how her father should be seeing the situation at all. She needs more support than that from him. Would her father listen to your DH?

Not sure this time calli. I have asked bil but don't get a proper response. We are in a dilemma as to whether to check with the police. She will pay ultimately and we are not in full possession of all the information

DH has talked to his brother quite a bit and in various tones!! Bil lives in Thailand and is a wimp! And exceedingly selfish.

We have had dn stay, encouraged her to go to a solicitor, gone with her to see the solicitor, even gone to Court with her. (Her dh regretted trying to intimidate me as I reported him to the usher and security!) But, poor woman is so cowed by the b*****d that she goes back.

We got her a flat, gave her furniture etc and she gave her husband a key.

Bil, meanwhile, sits in Thailand with his girlfriend!

Sorry for the rant.

And, we have 5 children of our own. Bil has just the 1.

And, I've been very poorly (!!!) and he has not once asked how I am since last September. #Stamps foot petulant!

*petulantly!!!!

Sad though it is I think you just have to accept that your brother in law is not going to help at all kittylester and you will have to do what you can.
It's difficult to know how to proceed if your niece isn't willing to get him out of her life. Seems like you need to offer support where you can and be there to pick up the pieces. I can imagine it's a difficult and stressful situation for you and your husband as well.

All you can do is report and stay in touch. The 'service' can be abysmal - so, in effect, you wait for something worse to happen. For my friend, it was ten years - until her eldest was big and brave enough to call the police - and they took action. We knew nothing about, she never said a word, being loyal thinking it was her fault.

This is the 'something worse', hetty.

I hope your friend is doing OK.

Keep on contacting SS, they will take action eventually.

If the flat is still in your name, can you get the locks changed and really ram it home to your niece that she is NOT to give him a key?

She seems to be closer to you and DH than to her father, (who sounds as useful as a chocolate teapot) He hasn't instilled in his child a sense of her own value, which would have helped her to get free of this louse.

Report it Kitty it will only get worse.
I supported my DD to the hilt time and time again.
She died by suicide one night after a beating,trapped in his flat where my 4year DGD slept.
Please get help for her by shouting as loudly as you can.
I hope you are doing well Kitty I know you have been really unwell

kittylester

This is the 'something worse', hetty.

I hope your friend is doing OK.

I'm no expert but at the 'something worse' stage it's surely a police matter rather than social services.

I would make the call.
Better to have a wasted phone call than nothing.

You can say that you were told the hospital had made a referral but you are very concerned as she is vulnerable and the situation is the same (or worse, if it is).

Elegran, the rented flat was in her name - treating her like a grown up! She hasn't contacted us this time.

I hope my post hasn't upset you downtoearth.

Shouting is a dilemma - doing more harm than good if the right action isn't taken. Which is why I was asking what we could expect to happen.

I am OK, thank you for asking. Just easily tired and finding it difficult to pace myself.
I hope you are OK.

Riverwalk, the police have been involved previously.

How did you find out if she hasn't contacted you?

Do you think she didn't contact you because she doesn't want you to get involved?

This is so difficult, I am sorry. And as you say, you've got enough on yer plate at the mo..

downtoearth, so so sorry to hear. Can't find the words. hugs

The police need involving again there is so much more they can do nowadays ….they will take it seriously
You will never forgive yourself if you wait and something worse happens

downtoearth so sorry to hear that. Sending a grandmother in solidarity ((( hug ))).

Riverwalk, yes, a police matter when it's a physical assault. What made all the difference, that final time, was that he smacked her in the face, her glasses broke and cut her. There was no disguising the damage.