I’ll probably never be a gran…

How old are they? I was vehemently against having children then suddenly changed my mind, before it was too late, I’m glad to say. Don’t give up hope. I thought I wouldn’t have grandchildren, for different reasons, but a miracle child is on the way. However I wasn’t, and still am not, planning on a grandchild changing my life in any way. You have to live your own life - we see so many over-invested, disappointed and jealous grans here who live their lives through their children and grandchildren. I have had and enjoyed my own baby. That’s enough,

A close friend of mine has always said she would never have grandchildren as none of her children wanted children of their own. A couple of months ago, she was presented with a card containing a scan picture of her soon-to-be born grandchild. I don't think she's quite recovered from the shock yet.
I understand your sadness: it's hard when the life you imagined for yourself and your family takes a different turn. We all have dreams but GSM is right, live your own best life and be thankful for all the good things life has given

No place for sadness. Enjoy your adult children, celebrate their lives. Cannot see what difference it makes to your life not to have g.children.
Celebrate what you have.

Yes, if you have had babies of your own you are so much fortunate than many others. Cherish them.

My husband and I are both from very small families and whilst grand children don’t worry him either way, I do feel a little left out of it all.
Thank you ladies for your perspectives on this, I will bear this in mind. Yes I need to live my own life indeed.

I understand your feelings. Our granddaughter has been the new light of our lives and brought us so much joy. Other friends not so interested in being grandparents, even when they are.

I am not a grandmother and enjoy doing my own thing. I spent a life time looking after a family and my parents and now this is my time before I leave this mortal coil. If my daughter is happy I am happy and she certainly doesn't like children. I dislike being defined at my age by whether I am a grandmother or not. It is not another success notch to ones life, it is circumstantial to ones children's lives.

Personally as long as our adult children are happy that would be our main concern. Live your life, I always think it’s a blessing to have had our children, and although you may feel sad it’s really their choice isn’t it.

I have 2 daughters both not had any children and they don't seem to be on the horizon. That's all ok with us as its non of our business and both are happy as they are.
I have felt sad but I'm over that period now,
Although it's when other people say to me "are you grandparents yet," I reply with a no. If they don't pursue it that's ok but it when they keep on about it I find it annoying and it has less to do with them than me.
I can't think of a funny saying without being rude so if anyone has any suggestions it would be much appreciated.
We have lovely times with our adult children, meals out, holidays etc without the need for... being back for bedtime, oh must go a feed is due, sorry we cant come as no baby sitter etc etc.
Enjoy the now with your children

Mountain I would never ask. When you get to know someone it's about what they want to tell you about themselves?

I have grand children and great grandchildren. I am honestly always mystified by the amount of importance many put on being so very involved in their grandchildren’s upbringing. I see mine quite often, love them warts and all but have no worries if I do not see them for a month or so and do not expect to know all their activities. Two of my children are childless and very happy. Perhaps I am unusual in this but I have many interests so do not feel I am missing out in the slightest.

I have one son. I changed my mind at 37 as didn’t want children. Mum expected me to look after my half sister who is 10 years younger so I found childcare as a teenager a strain. If my lovely son and partner don’t want children I will be fine with that. I couldn’t help with childcare as get too tired but expect short visits would be fine.

Germanshepherdsmum

Yes, if you have had babies of your own you are so much fortunate than many others. Cherish them.

Exactly.
I’ll definitely never be a gran

My friend was 65 with no grandchildren A gay son A daughter who’d had a hysterectomy and no desire to be a mum and a younger son she had given up ever being a grandma Now she has 8 and 4 year old grandsons who she is very hands on with and loves to bits
Never give up Enid

I have a lot of grandchildren and great grandchildren and I love them all but our lives are not geared round them. I love to see them and we do, some more than others but we are busy with our own lives as they are with theirs. When I first married I announced that I wasn’t wanting any children, mainly to shut the old chooks up! I had 4 in the end . I find it funny that our grandchildren announce their forthcoming children when they are about 3 weeks pregnant. Huh. How times have changed - I used to wait until I was at least 4 months gone!

DD is a career woman and used to play in rock bands, no interest in having babies. She married young and is 54 shortly, never changed her mind. I respect her decision.

I have 2 grandchildren who live the other side of the country to me. They stayed with me occasionally when they were younger , but unless I go to my daughter's I haven't seen them for ages. Nor do they phone me unless to say thanks for birthday presents.
I now have a greatgrandchild living even further away who I have only seen once.
So even being a grandmother doesn't mean you will have a relationship with them.

Mountain:
“I can't think of a funny saying without being rude so if anyone has any suggestions it would be much appreciated”

My (second) husband, when asked if he has children, replies with, “None of whom I'm aware…!”

I find that people who ask if you have grandchildren often do it , so that you’ll ask them the same question and that gives them an excuse to whip out their phones and show you photos of the little darlings . Sometimes I just say no and change the subject . I can tell they’re itching for me to ask

Oh, the wretched photos. Noooo, I’m not interested in other people’s babies.

Oh gawd yes.
And don’t get me started on scan photos

No I definitely will not be a grandmother because Mr J and I do not have children. We went through all the thing of why don't you have children. Now it is do you have grandchildren. Our lives are not defined by whether we have children or grandchildren but by the people that we are. So although you feel sad Enidd as others say accept your children's decisions and let them live their lives how they want to. Not everyone wants to be a parent and some are unable to be which makes it particularly hard when people constantly question and make assumptions about your lifestyle.

Tenko

I find that people who ask if you have grandchildren often do it , so that you’ll ask them the same question and that gives them an excuse to whip out their phones and show you photos of the little darlings . Sometimes I just say no and change the subject . I can tell they’re itching for me to ask

I can't abide viewing photos of others' children, grandchildren, great grandchildren. Please keep your phone in your pocket

👏👏👏