Doing things for the last time

Fleurpepper

henetha

It's swimming that I miss. I last swam in Malta ten years ago and am afraid to swim any more in case my two artificial knees cause me to sink. I didn't realise at the time that it was my last swim.
That's so sad, Nanatoone.

Oh no- goodness, why? I have 2 artificial knees and I love swimming- and they don't make me sink, why would they?

I can't do 'froggy legs' anymore, so swim with up and down feet, even when doing breaststroke. I use short physio flippers, to give more momentum and it works really well. But in swimming pools where they are not allowed, naked feet work well too. Practice in a pool first, with someone in attendance to give you confidence. Artificial knees should NOT stop you at all and help keep muscles strong.

Yes, I second this. I have had one knee replaced, and go swimming regularly. In fact it was recommended by my physio. 2 years ago, after the knee op.

Oh thank you for that reassurance.
Silly me , thinking that I might sink!.
I used to love swimming and it's such good exercise. I will definitely try to get back into it. 😁

Hah, yes! Last week I pulled my very last all-nighter for a set of financial statements. Retirement at the end of this year and never, ever, again!!!

Good long walks are a thing of the past after a foot op that didn’t work, but made things worse. I had a few short walks during the lockdowns but even they were too painful. Will I ever even hold another baby? That’s something I think about having so enjoyed holding DGD, now eleven and still cuddly so I’m making the most of every cuddle I get! Probably won’t fly abroad again. I admire so much all of you with such positive attitudes and send to all with less happy memories.

Georgesgran, you brought back memories of walking from Durham city to the Rose Tree in Shincliffe as a nineteen year old. I’ve never done it since and I only live about 12 miles from there.

Well I thought I’d never roller skate again (I’m 68 with shot knees, blood cancer and Lipoedema). My grandson has other ideas and has encouraged me to join him so I’ve just bought new roller boots after over 50 years and we skate together! Don’t know when it will end but hopefully not too soon 🤞

The last time I played badminton I had a really bad fall that resulted in a broken vertebra. Lost my courage to play again as pain was intense and I needed lots of physiotherapy to deal with it. Miss it intensely.

I like to focus on what I can do, rather than what I can’t do anymore

I always intended to get an Irish Wolfhound one day. Last year, aged 63, I realised I’d put it off too long and could now never have one. I used to have a Rottweiler. She was a wonderful dog. It makes me really sad to realise I can never have another, as they are now too strong for me.

My husband is 70 this year. He has arthritis (don’t we all, but his is more problematic than mine) and has recently been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia post Covid. We have a fabulous trip to Africa booked for September. We have some savings ear marked for travel. I have just booked another pushing the boat out (pun unintended) holiday for January rather than wait, because I’m now aware that we don’t know how soon it will be before we’ll have to stick with closer, shorter holidays.

yes I agree best not to know it is the last time. I do live in hopes of being able to g o sailing again with someone, but no longer have my own boat and now where I live do not have any sailing friends here. Really miss horse riding, as that was my first love from a very young age, and have done dressage and all sorts and been to the spanish riding school in Vienna years ago. With my back the only possibility is that i might have a go with pony and trap, but highly unlikely. I do prefer to think I may do something in the future even if it is highly unlikely. When we had to fill in some forms for my husband, it took for ages and was deeply depressing, as they asked what you could do etc. So he would say he could walk along the high street, and I had to gently remind him that wasnt really so any more as we had to move the car and make sure that he only had to go across the pavement to the shop or cafe. So , as long as we are not asked direct questions we can still see ourselves in the most positive light, but those wretched questions remind us what was no longer possible and oh boy is that a depressing list to fill! So keep thinking positively about what you can do and only face the truth might be different if push comes to shove!!

If you get a twinge in your hip, knee or back that doesn't resolve within a couple of weeks, see someone about it sooner rather than later. You may get nothing helpful from the NHS until you can't walk and then it's surgery but, if you can afford it, see a registered chiropractor or osteopath. I had an extremely painful hip issue. Pain relief only from the NHS but diagnosis and manipulation of a tight sacro-iliac joint, i.e. not the ball and socket, has me back to normal and, crucially, back to my beloved karate. At no time did the chiropractor recommend rest. Prolonged rest leads to loss of muscle mass. The less you do, the less you can do and it's progressive. Keep going. Never give up!

Having a very 'blue' day today, thinking back that last Mother's day was the last with my son still living with us, likewise Xmas just gone he was still under our roof, and those events last year were unbeknown to me 'last times'. He is doing very well now, happy and settling in his own home with his partner, and who knows, maybe grandchildren will be along in the not too distant future.
So, I am trying to enjoy and embrace all the things we do, just in case they will be 'last times'.

henetha

Oh thank you for that reassurance.
Silly me , thinking that I might sink!.
I used to love swimming and it's such good exercise. I will definitely try to get back into it. 😁

Great news- don't delay. It might take a bit of adjusting, as said, I can't do froggy legs now, and do up and down with any stroke. Take a float with you for the first few times- and do report back.

I won’t let myself think of last times. Would not like to know when anything is the last time.

My husband has dementia and I doubt we will go abroad again but there are so many places in the UK we haven’t visited yet and I still drive. We are driving from Devon to North Wales to his home town next month and his two ‘20 something’ granddaughters are joining us so he can tell them about their ancestry. Hopefully lots more journeys to look forward to and I won’t know if it will be the last time until I realise it will be too difficult. May have to change to short train journeys and a couple of days away but all is not lost until I run out of options but thankfully we live in a lovely seaside town so will enjoy home and our memories of those last times.

Blondiescot

Germanshepherdsmum

Yes, it certainly does. It’s better not to know it’s the last time imo, if possible.

I would tend to agree with that. I would love to to go horse riding again, but I know it's probably fairly unlikely. I think I'd have been very sad indeed if I'd known the last time I rode a horse might have been the very final time (at the time).

*Blondiescot - mine is riding too, although I did know when it was my last time really.

I had ridden since the age of 3, my daughters also started at 3 and we have now 'backed' my granddaughter at 3!

I never had my own horse though until I was 50. I saw an ad for a lovely elderly gentleman who needed a retirement home, but was still capable of 'happy hacking'. I was by then at home all day as had to give up work, and with the help of my daughters, I took Sydney on. He perked me up no end. He was a 'been there done that' horse - had had a wonderful life, but as his owner had hip problems, and he was very wide, she could no longer ride him.

I couldn't 'ride' per se, as have no core muscles left and couldn't use my legs. It was a 2 man job to get me on, and off, but I had the balance left still and I did ok. He became 'voice activated' for me, would only go up a gear when I said he could and behaved impeccably for me always! Other people though, he would enjoy himself far more, knowing they could cope, and he brought on a little lad, my neighbour's boy, who looked like a pea on a drum, but ended up as a work rider for Andrew Balding! My daughter took him on a local charity ride - he started off plodding down from the stables, and as more horses joined him to the start he became progressively more interested, he knew what was going on and got so excited that we had to drop his reins on to the bottom ring of his bit - even then she could barely pull him up! We didn't let him finish it because it would have been too much for him, but he had a fabulous time - just gave him extra Bute and he was fine! As time went on his arthritis became worse, and after riding him the time for me to recover got longer and longer. When the time came to say goodbye, I think he had chosen it - he got himself cast in the field next to the fence and couldn't get up, he hadn't even really tried. I called his other Mum and we waited for her and her daughter to come - in the end the vet said she had never seen anything like it - there were 9 of us saying our goodbyes. Whilst we waited, he was fed his favourite treats, Murray Mints, parsnips, squashy pears and apples from the tree next to his field. It was awful, but it couldn't have been nicer .... I miss my old gentleman dreadfully, and am having a little sob now ....

I’ve always wanted to ride a horse but I know I never will now. Never had time. My next door neighbour owns horses, has fields and stables and a manège behind our garden and gives riding lessons. How envious I feel when I watch!

Fleurpepper
So true about your response to Henetha’s post - swimming is the BEST therapy for all joints, whether artificial or not! They actually recommend it.

After 10 yrs of abstaining (and perhaps other missed physical activity) her leg muscles may be atrophied somewhat but she would be able get back into strengthening her muscles and back in the water. Go for it Henetha!
Cheers!
USA Gundy

Germanshepherdsmum

I’ve always wanted to ride a horse but I know I never will now. Never had time. My next door neighbour owns horses, has fields and stables and a manège behind our garden and gives riding lessons. How envious I feel when I watch!

Gracious, give it a go, your setting is perfect.

Sign up for 2-3 rides, they lead you round at first - easy peasy. Then, on a gentle horse with the trainer on a sweet horse next to you - you ride for a little distance, and so it progresses - riding is fantastic!

Horse riding and dinghy sailing - used to be very competitive with the sailing. About 6 years ago I bought myself a small keel boat thinking it would be better for a more mature person - big mistake! I was so nervous going out every time that my mouth was completely dry, and I'm not nimble enough to duck under a boom any more.
Still walking, though, and joined the local U3A walking group recently which is wonderful and I'll keep going till I drop! Still play tennis once a week with a group of us "old girls" who are all over 70 - you'd laugh if you saw us!

We are mid-seventies, I'm fit and active but DH has very, very limited mobility, is wobbly and prone to falling so I can't leave him and I doubt I'll ever go abroad again or even have a holiday. Leaving him at home for a day out is not feasible. Although he has a pendant for calling for help if he falls, he would get very depressed on his own (his mental health is fragile). But, tbh, I've come to terms with this and accept it with equanimity.

I think I've climbed my last mountaing. My breathing isn't great these days.

I’d love to Norah but my knees are totally shot. I’d need so much help getting on and off, it would be too embarrassing! I know my neighbour would help me, and one of her horses is very docile, but my dignity gets in the way. It will remain a dream.

No more operatic leading roles for me like Aida. These roles were part of my identity, my life revolved around them. There was a stress element I don’t miss.
But I still sing, recitals and informal concerts, even folk music.

Life has so many wonderful things to offer…during lockdown I returned to drawing and painting, an early passion and then travelling to new places.
I know I will never again lie on a foreign beach in the sun with my late DH, reading a good book and looking forward to a delicious evening meal.

What an enjoyable thread! So many of you have had much more active lives than me. I am nearly 89 and cannot contemplate doing any more long distance travel. For many of us losing our husbands/partners was life changing and poor health gets to many of us, but I admire how many of you can walk miles, drive long distances and manage to get on with stuff. This thread is quite sad for me. I have had bad falls which make me nervous to walk far. When I am alone I promised my son I would be very careful and have my phone handy and now my heart is causing breathing problems so I contemplate having to go to Martinique our neighbouring island for the more sophisticated medical tests. Now I wish I had concentrated better in French lessons! However, I still use my walking stick to walk on the flat area of the garden and spend my days reading lots of UK papers and magazines. I am a news junkie and listen and watch TV to keep up. Today my favourite presenter Iain Dale was in Scotland to meet the three contestants for the SNP. My main social life is having dinner with friends and supporting the dog shelter people who do an amazing job. It’s a quiet life since my husband died and I still miss him so much. Your posts cheer me up and it is good to read about all the activity you manage to get in as you get older. Keep it up ladies! You are an amazing bunch.