What to call son's partner

I love my not-quite daughter in law and just call her by her first name, and refer to her as my son's partner when introducing her to others. She's lovely.

Ask her what she'd like? Just her name, sons better half/other half, DiL/future DiL, Dilys (just a play on DiL)?

I call mine my daughter-out-law, she finds it amusing.

I always refer to my daughters long term partner (who died) as my son in law,……he was

Surely, first name, followed by "my Son's partner" fits the bill, and accurately reflects societal norms these days, where many choose not to marry. You already describe her as part of your family, and treat her accordingly. She won't need a label to prove that.

My DD has a long standing partner (coming up for thirty years!!). I call him my ‘sin in law’. He calls me all sorts of not very complimentary things, but we love each other dearly!

I introduce DDs partner as "name and future Sil" to anyone who does not know him or just his name within the family & friends.

I just say daughter’s partner. The problem I find is what to put on envelopes. Eg Miss xxxxx & Mr xxxxxxx

Instead of daughters OUT law, I used to call them daughters-UN-law. Seemed less harsh and they both loved it. Naturally, I became mother-un-law. The other thing is that people don’t really notice the “un”….

To avoid confusion with business partner one could always say
"This is eddicat my son's life partner.

My son and his girlfriend live with me, and I jokingly call her my daughter-in-law, but otherwise I call her Sarah.
I know what I’d LIKE to call my other sons partner! 🤨

My DiL is the best in the world but I have no idea what I called her before they married - her name probably. My ex-SiL was one of the worst …. My SiL I proudly call my SiL but again can’t remember how I referred to him before they were married. And in our family anyway livelylady absolutely not archaic!!

My daughter refers to the man she lives with as her partner. I tend to refer to him as her boyfriend. Or partner depending on who Im talking to

Was your son married to my son ex lol. Anyway I’ve got both I’ve a daughter inlaw through marriage and my youngest lives with his fiancée but I call by first name but on birthday cards etc daughter inlaw but I also have a daughter inlaw through marriage with my oldest son. You could always ask her. I never did lol

Why does she need an official designation. I am sure she has a name , most people do. Call her by her name.!!!!

livelylady

Behind the times ladies (and gentlemen).
Her name and 'my son's partner' is all that is required nowadays. Younger people don't refer to 'my wife, or my husband' - sounds archaic.

Our girls say 'my husband' or 'my friend' - not at all archaic.

Partner would suffice. Most people understand that the couple are in a relationship, live together and have so for a while. Obviously use her first name generally.

Before my daughter married her partner I used to jokingly call him my son-out-law. He found it funny. Not a good idea if that would offend her though. They did marry eventually but unfortunately divorced 7 years later.

How about asking her how she would prefer you to introduce her to people she meets at your place?

Unless she or you object violently to this is N, my son's partner, I should think this is the most usual way of refering to someone in a stable relationship to someone they are not married to.

If you prefer you can call her your daughter-in-law - nothing wrong with that. It is really no business of those you introduce her to whether she is or is not married to your son, after all.

I would say This is Name my sons partner or girlfriend

Wendy

I just say daughter’s partner. The problem I find is what to put on envelopes. Eg Miss xxxxx & Mr xxxxxxx

why not just put:
cynthia & rodney,
12 acacia ave

or if you prefer:
c brown & r smith

Scotgirlnick

My daughter refers to the man she lives with as her partner. I tend to refer to him as her boyfriend. Or partner depending on who Im talking to

why not use the term which they do of themselves.
boyfriend sounds more flimsy to me,
poss here today and gone tomorrow,
or someone one is walking out with,
rather than staying in with.
it could come across as not fully accepting their status.

"If course I use her first name most of the time but if I have to introduce her to someone I can't really just say "this is *" and leave them wondering how we know her!" Actually, it's not anyone's business how you know her. But you can say she's your son's beloved; or if they are curious / nosey, they'll ask.

Why are people so sniffy about this question?! There are lots of occasions when I’m talking to friends about my sons’ partners. They have never met these women so I can’t just say their name and expect my friends to know who they are! OP, I sometimes say daughter-in-law and sometimes say son’s partner. Just depends what comes out of my mouth 😁

All this "just call her by her name" is rubbish - of course you call her by her name, like any other person.
But it can be a problem. I tend to use "son's partner" but I am aware that this can cause problems. I was once introduced to someone who I was told was "Bill's partner". Golly I thought I never knew Bill was gay. In the course of the conversation it emerged that he was actually Bill's business partner!!!