What to call son's partner

Why not simply use her first name?

I think it's up to you to some degree how you refer to her. My parents arenlt married but I still refer to my Stepdad as my Stepdad infact sometimes I have just said Dad. He tells people I am his daughter and my children are his Grandchildren. You have to do what you all feel comfortable with, it is not worth overthinking things

As ParlorGames has suggested, use her first name.

We called ours Daughter out law and it always raises a smile!

My daughter has been with her partner for over 10 years but not married. I always refer to him as my son in law even when I send Christmas and birthdays.

Her first name?

Actions speak louder than words where she stands in the family, not the name she is given

mrsgreenfingers56

We called ours Daughter out law and it always raises a smile!

I like that and think she would too. She's already had a "mother-in-law" and it wasn't a happy experience!

Our widow daughter is soon to marry a lovely 60 yr old man. Currently we refer to him by name, I doubt that will change.

My sister has lived with her partner for around 30 years. I ref to him as my BiL. My Mum ref to him as her SiL as well.
Her exhusband I ref to as my ex BiL , nor my neices Dad.
Which is what Mum called him as well.
Both special men in our family.

ParlorGames

Why not simply use her first name?

If course I use her first name most of the time but if I have to introduce her to someone I can't really just say "this is ***" and leave them wondering how we know her!

First name surely?

My ex-mil wanted me to call her mum- no way- I could not stand the sight of her so managed well without calling her anything.

eddiecat78

ParlorGames

Why not simply use her first name?

If course I use her first name most of the time but if I have to introduce her to someone I can't really just say "this is ***" and leave them wondering how we know her!

Oh, I understand.

We refer to our soon to be SIL as our daughter's friend. He is.

This is eddiecat our son's partner

DD1 is not married but has been with S for nearly 12 years. When talking to him or people who know him we use his name, when referring to others that do not know him we call him our Son in Law.

I refer to mine as DIL and SIL even though they’re not married to my DS and DD. They’ve been together for years. When I buy them birthday cards I buy for them as son/daughter. I think it shows that they are equally loved family members as much as my DS’s wife is to us. If they objected then I wouldn’t do it but they seem quite happy for it to be that way!

depends how long they've been together..... daughter in law if a few years.

Ask him or her what they would like

My son has been with his partner for over ten years. We call her by her Christian name. I introduce her as son’s partner. She once referred to me as her mother in law when we were in Kew Gardens!

you can only say it if it is true, but I am fortunate all of my sons' partners, whether married or not, I can call 'the daughters of my heart'

Nothing wrong with partner.

You could ask her! And I agree with Hithere that Actions speak louder than words where she stands in the family, not the name she is given

You are obviously thoughtful and caring about the relationship. Keep doing that!

My brother was a solicitor and when he introduced his ladyfriend as his partner people thought they must be in business together .

Behind the times ladies (and gentlemen).
Her name and 'my son's partner' is all that is required nowadays. Younger people don't refer to 'my wife, or my husband' - sounds archaic.

I have 2 DiL and one DoL. I don't introduce them as that but might refer to them when talking about them to my friends.
I always use their names and they mine.

Partner is quite acceptable now if used in context ie my son's partner not my son's business partner to avoid ambiguity.