Do you remind your adult children about sending cards ?

Nope. I figure adults are more than capable of using a calendar.

Shortly after we were married, my MIL, with great ceremony, announced that she would go through her address book with me, give me all the dates and contact info I needed. I was completely baffled and asked why. So I could send cards, of course!

Uh… no. If my husband hadn’t been sending cards in the 10 years plus of living on his own to his extended family, why would I? I hadn’t even met 95% of them! It was the oddest thing to me.

I don’t send cards. Never have. I call (or text now, often resulting in a later call). Seems more personal to me

I always remind my son of close family member’s birthdays he doesn’t mind - in fact if I don’t he tells me off for not reminding him.
I wouldn’t do it with my daughter as she is very organised.

Fleurpepper

GrannyGravy13

My late Mum always reminded me and my sister, she knew we were busy and that we both appreciated being reminded.

I so wish she was still here to do so.

Yes, makes me so sad, all those GN who criticise their mum, not quite realising their are next ... and that they will probably miss their mum, one day, perhaps soon.

I remember my SisIL saying, after her mother died, "and so we move up to take their place"

Today I reminded DD that Wednesday was her DB and DSil's 20th wedding anniversary, she hadn't forgotten, she simply hadn't realised, despite it having been a subject of conversation at home when we were all together, sigh.

To be fair, I do not remind her of birthdays, nor her brother. It is just one off occasions, where they may forget or not have realised.

I’m always reminding my two sons even about their anniversary or wife’s birthday etc and they always say I know but I no they had forgotten my oldest son memory is terrible told him to put in his phone because I won’t be here forever lol

GrannyGravy13

My late Mum always reminded me and my sister, she knew we were busy and that we both appreciated being reminded.

I so wish she was still here to do so.

Yes, makes me so sad, all those GN who criticise their mum, not quite realising their are next ... and that they will probably miss their mum, one day, perhaps soon.

My late Mum always reminded me and my sister, she knew we were busy and that we both appreciated being reminded.

I so wish she was still here to do so.

That’s possibly why this need to jump on me as if I’ve turned into ‘one of those people that can’t be bothered anymore’ wound me up…..

Card - whoops pressed send - to our older family friends who I know would appreciate it.

Some interesting comments here….. I actually like sending cards still and usually remember friends and families birthdays. I quite like choosing a card and giving it - I also still send a xmas ca

Never did (oh for the edit button)

Oh gosh NO I did when they were in their teens, a long time ago but not as adults, how degrading to have to have a mum tell you or remind you what to do
My mum ever did either ( thankfully)

No, I don't remind our daughters, they're all adults.

"Yes Mum" [sigh] or "Yes, you've told me that before" usually shuts me up 😁

GibraltarRock42

Thanks foe your responses - the thing I think I can’t tolerate is that I do send cards where I want to and I send messages and am very good at it - and have also decided, as an adult, who I’ll send them to - so to have her doing this is very irritating…….most things now I simply nod and wave and do the ‘mmm’ , ‘yes I know’. But this is that ‘thing’ that totally winds me up and I can’t reason with it !!!!

I do usually remind one DC who might well forget but I forgot to remind her of her Pa's birthday this year and she remembered.
iyswim 😀

Hetty58

Whitewavemark2, more than mildly irritating, infuriating, in fact - when you're constantly told to do things their way - the only right and proper way - and you know, for sure - that they're talking b****cks!

Why is their way b****cks merely because it is different to your way?

Some might think your way is thoughtless and uncaring.
Others may agree with you.

I would say that you send cards to those that you want to and do not need reminding.

It is the thought that counts and if parents are telling their adult children when to send cards or greetings then there is no thought from those that have been reminded.

I always receive a card from an aunt that includes the names of her adult children, in their 60s. They know nothing about this, I have not had contact with them for over 20 years. During my yearly call from my aunt, she always mentions that my cousins did not receive a card from me, I tell her that we do not have contact and that she is the only person I send a card to.

The very close family I send cards to. DH always sends cards even though we live in the same house. DD's have told me not to bother with their wedding anniversaries and obviously forgot and I did get funny comments.
One DD is not as bothered about cards or presents as the other and I have to be very careful.
My mum always reminded me and liked ones with long verses and as sloppy as possible which I am not ,but I sent what she wanted.

I no longer actually remind any of them but maybe drop into the conversation that I had a walk to post so and so’s card this then leaves it up to them if they do anything. They are good at sending to DH and I but not so bothered with each other.

I send cards but the younger generations won’t as I think the fashion to do so will die out.
It doesn’t help that first class post no longer means a card will arrive the day after posting.
I don’t remind my AC nor do I mind if I don’t get cards.

No, I don't remind our AC to send cards, that's their responsibility, they are ADULTS after all.

We have a calendar on the kitchen wall; when it is put up at the start of the year all the birthdays are written on - not rocket science and it ensure we always remember, what the AC choose to do is up to them.

If we think that a card will not arrive in time we do message the intended recipient to say that it is in the post, they get it eventually.

I remind my daughter. My sons have their wives to remind them.

My MIL sets great store by how many birthday and Christmas cards she gets each year. She usually starts discussing both well in advance.

I usually remind my three adult sons about each others birthdays as I am sure they would forget otherwise. They text rather than sending cards.

I used to remind my children but stopped ages ago.
Cards mean a lot to some people so maybe we should consider what they want, not what we think.

The answer to “I’m entitled to my opinion” is "So you are - and I'm entitled to mine now that I am all grown up" said with a smile. Add that you DO send cards but the mail doesn't always get them there on time, so the person who was "upset" by it not arriving for her birthday would be better complaining to them, not to you through mother, Ask mother whether X gets upset easily over everything? I bet she does!

I don't remind my children about anything at all. If they have reached their late fifties successfully, they are perfectly able to remember everything they should be doing - or want to do.