Do you remind your adult children about sending cards ?

She's doing what a lot of us do, reminding the family about sending cards etc as they matter to her. Afraid you being in your 50's won't alter that. If you are like a lot of people now, don't want to send cards just tell her. Get it over and done with. You can't can't blame the post you just do it earlier and they would get there. My mother told me nearly every week that my way of making gravy was not as she did, in the end I told her I preferred my way and that's why I did it line that, the injured silence made me regret it. These things niggle, but she was a wonderful mom and I wish she were still here.

My mother loved a 'nice card' (good quality) - and somehow attached great meaning to receiving one - so they were duly sent to her, begrudgingly, but not to other family members.

I send a text or email and never send cards now. What a waste of time and resources, how horribly environmentally unfriendly - and how utterly useless?

I’m in my late 70s - mum died a couple of years ago, but still reminded me. I very occasionally remind one of my children but mostly don’t.

Mildly irritating I know but hey Ho, in the scheme of things it is a small matter.

Whitewavemark2, more than mildly irritating, infuriating, in fact - when you're constantly told to do things their way - the only right and proper way - and you know, for sure - that they're talking b****cks!

I have 5 adult sons. I send them a reminder for family birthdays and they send each other greetings - not cards but texts or facebook. I fear they would forget without a reminder!

Hetty58 I do not agree that sending someone a card is a waste of time or utterly useless.

No I don’t remind any of them although birthday plans may be discussed I certainly don’t tell them to send cards.

Thanks foe your responses - the thing I think I can’t tolerate is that I do send cards where I want to and I send messages and am very good at it - and have also decided, as an adult, who I’ll send them to - so to have her doing this is very irritating…….most things now I simply nod and wave and do the ‘mmm’ , ‘yes I know’. But this is that ‘thing’ that totally winds me up and I can’t reason with it !!!!

I did used to remind them. They now have their act together.
Now I am just as likely to need a reminder from time to time, as they once were!

If you are determined to wish someone Happy Birthday in some way, you may need to be a bit more organised.
Else gear yourself up for a telling off.

x post. Ignore my post!

And yes, if you still want to send cards, it’s sometimes a lovely thing to do - but costly !!!!

This was triggered by me having sent a first class post card last week before the actual day, which has not yet arrived. On the day I wished them a happy birthday by whatsapp with a ‘hope the card arrived’ tagged on the end. The message has filtered through to my Mum that I have forgotten and said person is very upset 😳 which she has chosen to berate me about.

I have noticed I receive cards, and others do too, a few days in advance now.
Used to be on the day or day before. Two days before used to be seen as premature!
But post too unreliable to send that "late" nowadays.

GibraltarRock42

This was triggered by me having sent a first class post card last week before the actual day, which has not yet arrived. On the day I wished them a happy birthday by whatsapp with a ‘hope the card arrived’ tagged on the end. The message has filtered through to my Mum that I have forgotten and said person is very upset 😳 which she has chosen to berate me about.

If that’s the case, the card receiver is at fault, did she not twig that the card was late arriving?

If Mum brings it up again, I would tactfully but firmly point out what you have told us, and just say if the receiver is still put out, well that’s just too bad.

I think the receiver has been guilty of such ‘crimes’ in the past and takes some pleasure in stirring the pot so to speak. My mum usually pops ‘reminders’ into conversation about what she’s sending said relation or that she found such and such card !!

Oh, that's not a nice guilt trip. Does she enjoy sending you on those? Does the receiver?

Plant your feet and ignore.

I don’t consider myself old fashioned, but I still like a card and always send them. I buy well in advance, so yesterday,, I bought cards for both DD’s anniversaries, DGS2, a nephew, my friend who will be 70 in June and her son who will be 40 at the end of May. I do post early, but only one of the above won’t be hand delivered.
However, I don’t remind my AC. We are a small family, so what they chose to send is up to them.
I think they probably text or emails most of their friends.

I had this problem with an aunt and cousin so I sent the cards a month early. They lived abroad. They complained that the cards arrived too early so I said better late than never. Problem was solved.

Why take it all so seriously? it is an annoying little habit she has. We all have annoying little habits. Ask her what you do that drives her up the wall.

It's one thing to remind about sending a card, but my mother told me she had sent a card and gift iin my name to a cousin getting married because she knew I;d forget.
I hadn't seen that cousin for at least 15 years, and he never sent anything when I got married. I had no intention of sending anything, and I had to have words with my mother about her assumptions. ( I was 30ish and she was 60, we aren't talking age here)

Hetty58

Whitewavemark2, more than mildly irritating, infuriating, in fact - when you're constantly told to do things their way - the only right and proper way - and you know, for sure - that they're talking b****cks!

My mother was like that though. I used to cringe when I just knew she was going to criticise my adult children over something.

In fact at our last dinner get together, I brought it up to see how they felt. Grandmother had died a couple of years ago at 101. They looked at me as if I was mad. It had clearly gone completely over the top of their heads. Nan was Nan and they were obviously very fond of her - strange habits and all.

We are a very relaxed family😄😄😄

Hetty 'and how utterly useless?'

how can it be useless if it makes someone happy?

That’s lovely - I like your attitude !

Sorry above was for @georgesgran and @M0nica - probably many things - as you can see she chooses to let me know! Some things can be quite inflammatory and I do think we need to consider our actions / thoughts before we act on them. I let a lot of things go - there isn’t much my mother doesn’t have an opinion on that she likes to voice quite vehemently and follow it with an “I’m entitled to my opinion” comment !!!!!