Do you remind your adult children about sending cards ?

She just wants to feel that she has some relevance in the family.
I'd just smile and agree with her.. itislovely to receive a card and know that someone has been thinking about you. I rarely get cards now or send them..

My ACs do send cards via MoonPig - great with photos of GCs and outings we shared etc. Although my last card from DD1 was a series of 8 photos, with a word on top of each photo 'Happy' then 'Birthday' etc. Got them along the dresser by my side as I write.

I would never remind my ACs to send cards. They are all adults and can send cards or not as they please.

I send cards to all my family and friends but things are changing and younger people don't seem to bother as much with cards preferring to send greetings via the internet.

Fleurpepper

Hetty 'and how utterly useless?'

how can it be useless if it makes someone happy?

Same as when we travel- I still send postcards to a few older people, and a friend in France- who I know love receiving them. Old fashioned? Who cares- as they enjoy it.

No , but my Adult child reminds me , I find it helpful

I get great pleasure in sending cards for all occasions because I really love to receive them so hope it will brighten the receivers day a little. I do understand that it almost gone out of fashion now so I receive much less now. Never mind, everything changes over time. But I still like sending greetings and I always will.

To op?

Does she know that you can get a bit/quite hurt by what she says?

Yes I do it irritates me actually I mean we all had busy lives when we were young didn’t we? Our young adults seem to think they are unique with such busy lives as if we didn’t!

Sorry above was for @georgesgran and @M0nica - probably many things - as you can see she chooses to let me know! Some things can be quite inflammatory and I do think we need to consider our actions / thoughts before we act on them. I let a lot of things go - there isn’t much my mother doesn’t have an opinion on that she likes to voice quite vehemently and follow it with an “I’m entitled to my opinion” comment !!!!!

That’s lovely - I like your attitude !

Hetty 'and how utterly useless?'

how can it be useless if it makes someone happy?

Hetty58

Whitewavemark2, more than mildly irritating, infuriating, in fact - when you're constantly told to do things their way - the only right and proper way - and you know, for sure - that they're talking b****cks!

My mother was like that though. I used to cringe when I just knew she was going to criticise my adult children over something.

In fact at our last dinner get together, I brought it up to see how they felt. Grandmother had died a couple of years ago at 101. They looked at me as if I was mad. It had clearly gone completely over the top of their heads. Nan was Nan and they were obviously very fond of her - strange habits and all.

We are a very relaxed family😄😄😄

It's one thing to remind about sending a card, but my mother told me she had sent a card and gift iin my name to a cousin getting married because she knew I;d forget.
I hadn't seen that cousin for at least 15 years, and he never sent anything when I got married. I had no intention of sending anything, and I had to have words with my mother about her assumptions. ( I was 30ish and she was 60, we aren't talking age here)

Why take it all so seriously? it is an annoying little habit she has. We all have annoying little habits. Ask her what you do that drives her up the wall.

I had this problem with an aunt and cousin so I sent the cards a month early. They lived abroad. They complained that the cards arrived too early so I said better late than never. Problem was solved.

I don’t consider myself old fashioned, but I still like a card and always send them. I buy well in advance, so yesterday,, I bought cards for both DD’s anniversaries, DGS2, a nephew, my friend who will be 70 in June and her son who will be 40 at the end of May. I do post early, but only one of the above won’t be hand delivered.
However, I don’t remind my AC. We are a small family, so what they chose to send is up to them.
I think they probably text or emails most of their friends.

Oh, that's not a nice guilt trip. Does she enjoy sending you on those? Does the receiver?

Plant your feet and ignore.

I think the receiver has been guilty of such ‘crimes’ in the past and takes some pleasure in stirring the pot so to speak. My mum usually pops ‘reminders’ into conversation about what she’s sending said relation or that she found such and such card !!

GibraltarRock42

This was triggered by me having sent a first class post card last week before the actual day, which has not yet arrived. On the day I wished them a happy birthday by whatsapp with a ‘hope the card arrived’ tagged on the end. The message has filtered through to my Mum that I have forgotten and said person is very upset 😳 which she has chosen to berate me about.

If that’s the case, the card receiver is at fault, did she not twig that the card was late arriving?

If Mum brings it up again, I would tactfully but firmly point out what you have told us, and just say if the receiver is still put out, well that’s just too bad.

I have noticed I receive cards, and others do too, a few days in advance now.
Used to be on the day or day before. Two days before used to be seen as premature!
But post too unreliable to send that "late" nowadays.

This was triggered by me having sent a first class post card last week before the actual day, which has not yet arrived. On the day I wished them a happy birthday by whatsapp with a ‘hope the card arrived’ tagged on the end. The message has filtered through to my Mum that I have forgotten and said person is very upset 😳 which she has chosen to berate me about.

And yes, if you still want to send cards, it’s sometimes a lovely thing to do - but costly !!!!

x post. Ignore my post!

I did used to remind them. They now have their act together.
Now I am just as likely to need a reminder from time to time, as they once were!

If you are determined to wish someone Happy Birthday in some way, you may need to be a bit more organised.
Else gear yourself up for a telling off.