Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

If you cancel, do you give the ticket to the person you were going with?

(45 Posts)
Cambsnan Mon 12-Jun-23 15:11:39

We were attending an expensive event and my friend does not want to go anymore. I was looking forward to it and it my friend is well off and can afford the loss. Should she give me the ticket or must we sell the pair. I have friends who would come but cannot afford to buy the ticket.

Greenfinch Mon 12-Jun-23 15:18:42

I would say yes you do. A friend of ours was let down by someone she was going to the opera with. She therefore invited DH to accompany her(I am not a fan of opera btw so no offence felt). He of course offered to pay for the ticket and the meal but she refused so I guess she bought the ticket back from her friend.

V3ra Mon 12-Jun-23 15:20:40

I booked four tickets for a concert through Ticketmaster.
One friend has changed her mind about coming, but I've been able to sell her ticket for her via the Ticketmaster resale option.
The rest of us are still going.

If you don't want to go by yourself, would your friend accept an offer to buy her ticket from someone else?
She's not being very considerate leaving you in the lurch 😠

Theexwife Mon 12-Jun-23 15:21:06

If she doesn’t know or doesn’t like your other friends, then no I don’t think she should be paying for their ticket, the fact she can afford it is irrelevant to me. If you can afford it would you offer her the money for your other friends?

Rosie51 Mon 12-Jun-23 15:22:25

If she truly can bear the loss it would be a kind gesture to ask you if there's anyone you could invite to accompany you, and confirm the ticket would be a gift if they couldn't afford to buy it. It's certainly something I would feel was right for me to do in those circumstances. There's absolutely no obligation on her to do that though, she's entitled to sell her ticket (if the promoter allows, some don't) or to return to the promoter for a refund if they accept returns.

Oopsadaisy1 Mon 12-Jun-23 15:41:48

We’ve cancelled and we’ve given the tickets to other people, one trip included ferry and hotel bookings. No one has ever said ‘Thank you’. They seemed to think they were doing us a favour!

Hetty58 Mon 12-Jun-23 16:01:07

I've given tickets away too - but I'd really hate to think that it might ever be expected of me.

My finances aren't anyone else's business, so why would I pay for somebody else - that I don't even know? Yes, I can easily 'afford the loss' but still, I'm generally very careful with money and would really resent a friend telling me how to spend it!

Calendargirl Mon 12-Jun-23 16:12:40

But the friend has changed her mind about going, leaving the OP disappointed. It might seem different if she were ill or similar.

If she offered her ticket to another for say, half price, would someone then be able to afford to go, the OP could still go, and the original friend would recoup some of her money, but as she is the one backing out of going, if that were me I would be feeling rather guilty anyhow.

Harris27 Mon 12-Jun-23 16:13:34

I won two tickets a while ago and gave them away as I couldn’t go. They didn’t cost me anything so I wasn’t losing out. The ladies I gave them too had a wonderful time so I was pleased.

Riverwalk Mon 12-Jun-23 16:15:54

My best friend had to back out of a theatre trip for family reasons, she said to give the ticket to whoever could go at short notice. That seems the fairest thing to do and I would do the same.

foxie48 Mon 12-Jun-23 16:17:00

I often book events with a friend, I pay for the ticket as soon as it is purchased and if I couldn't go for some reason, I would give the ticket to my friend to use as she wishes. I certainly wouldn't expect her to go alone or cancel completely. I would expect her to do the same for me. IMO if you can afford the ticket in the first place, you can afford to be generous and give it away to someone else.

Doodledog Mon 12-Jun-23 16:19:44

I hate letting people down and only do so if there is really no choice, so yes, I would assume that if I had backed out my friend would keep the ticket in the hope that she could find someone to replace me. I wouldn’t be able to use it anyway so it would, to all intents and purposes, be worthless to me anyway.

eazybee Mon 12-Jun-23 18:20:58

Yes I do. I have only had to do it twice and both times the ticket was used.
But if I I were the recipient, I know I would pay for it.

crazyH Mon 12-Jun-23 18:31:39

If she can afford the loss, she could offer it to one of your friends, not completely free, but at a discount 😂

Forlornhope Mon 12-Jun-23 19:12:36

I would give the ticket to you so you could take someone else. You’ve been let down and it’s the least your friend could do to compensate for that.

Ladyleftfieldlover Mon 12-Jun-23 19:22:38

A friend was unable to go to a Bill Bryson talk as her OH was ill. She refused any payment for the tickets even though they were excellent seats. I went with younger son and gave my friend a signed copy of BB’s book.

Patsy70 Mon 12-Jun-23 19:31:41

Riverwalk

My best friend had to back out of a theatre trip for family reasons, she said to give the ticket to whoever could go at short notice. That seems the fairest thing to do and I would do the same.

Same happened recently when I was on holiday with my daughter and our flights were cancelled. We couldn’t get back in time for her Duran Duran concert, so she asked her sister-in-law, who she was going with, to give her ticket to a friend. The friend willingly paid, without being asked.

Patsy70 Mon 12-Jun-23 19:35:52

Oopsadaisy1

We’ve cancelled and we’ve given the tickets to other people, one trip included ferry and hotel bookings. No one has ever said ‘Thank you’. They seemed to think they were doing us a favour!

That is so very rude and totally unacceptable in my opinion.

Marydoll Mon 12-Jun-23 19:59:25

A friend, her husband and another couple had tickets for an Abba show in Edinburgh.
My friend sadly died and her husband and the other husband gave their tickets to two of us, who were also friends.
Her husband refused to take any money and asked us to enjoy the show in memory of our dear friend.

The four female ffriends shed a few tears, but we had an absolute ball, reminiscing about our many adventures and previous happy times.

Doodledog Mon 12-Jun-23 20:04:13

Patsy70

Oopsadaisy1

We’ve cancelled and we’ve given the tickets to other people, one trip included ferry and hotel bookings. No one has ever said ‘Thank you’. They seemed to think they were doing us a favour!

That is so very rude and totally unacceptable in my opinion.

I think it's really important when offering tickets to someone else that it is made very clear at the start whether they are a freebie to stop them going to waste/leave the other person with a companion, or if the person who can't go is hoping to be paid for them.

I have been offered tickets before to things I wouldn't mid seeing but would never pay over £100 for, and more when I had children and would have needed to find a babysitter. I would happily have gone to keep the person who had been let down company, but not to be significantly out of pocket to do so. I would have bought merchandise as a thank you, as LLFL did, but as money wasn't mentioned I said no, as it was getting awkward and I didn't want to seem 'grabby'.

When I've offered spare tickets to others I have phrased it as 'Would you like to go and see X with me? Y can't come so there is a spare ticket, and I'm happy for you to have it in return for a lift (or a drink in the interval/whatever)' so the giftee knows the score and is given a chance to contribute something, even if it's just a cup of coffee., and not feel beholden.

5553n Mon 12-Jun-23 20:37:44

I'm sorry your friend 'doesn't want to go anymore' thats a disappointment as you were looking forward to going. Have you asked the reason and what she would like to do with the spare ticket rather than assuming ''the worst'!. She /he / they may be prepared to offe the ticket to your friend half price. Good luck I'm sure it will all work out, too hot for angst!

Whiff Tue 13-Jun-23 05:34:12

We had book tickets to go too the RSC in Stratford upon Avon in 2003 and where taking friends as a treat. Unfortunately my husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer in the October. By November when we should have gone he was to ill. So gave our friends the tickets and they took a couple of friends . They offered to pay but we said know as it was our treat. They all had a really good time. But they where good friends to us and took my husband and me to his chemo and after he died in 2004 he visited every month always with chocolates and wine and phoned in between to check on me until he died.

I did win 2 tickets for a show in London but because of my mobility couldn't go so told the company to give them to someone else. I like to think someone had a wonderful time.

PamelaJ1 Tue 13-Jun-23 07:40:11

I think I would think I was entering into a contract.
Two people going to an event that neither would attend on their own. If one didn’t go then the other probably wouldn’t go alone so both have lost money. I would want my friend to go and enjoy herself so I would just give him/her my ticket.

Allsorts Tue 13-Jun-23 07:49:56

I agree with what Whiff has said. Personally, I never let anyone down if I’ve arranged something unless it’s an emergency situation, then I would give ticket to a friend, or tickets as you wish. Are you going with other people too, if so that’s not so bad but if it were just the two of you it’s dreadfully inconsiderate and I wouldn’t be arranging anything else with her I’m afraid.

Marjgran Wed 14-Jun-23 11:29:36

Talk to the friend….