Unflattering photo of me on Facebook

Don’t give it a second thought honeyrose. The people who know you know exactly what you look like anyway, and the rest of the world will give it a passing glance, if anything. Nobody will be pointing and laughing.

I don’t like having to pose for photographs either so I understand your irritation. Someone recently took the worse photo of me I was caught off guard unaware of being snapped. She thought it was hilarious and forwarded it probably to all and sundry. I told her I wasn’t impressed and haven’t bothered with her since.

I do understand how you feel. I needed an implant at the front of my mouth and the dentist evened up my two front teeth. The trouble is, the teeth on one side are longer than the other and now it looks like I've had a stroke when I smile! Now all my photographs are completely unflattering! When I comment on it, everybody is surprised that I feel like that. Sometimes, I flip my photos and I look a little more like me. We only ever see ourselves as a reflection so we never see ourselves as others see us.
Personally, I would just let it go.

Thanks everyone for your very helpful responses - I love that about Gransnet (very truthful and thought-provoking answers). After much careful thought, I’ve decided NOT to ask the ex-colleague to remove the photo from Facebook. I’m still embarrassed by it, but I’ve learned to accept it and move on. After all - as others have rightfully said - people will be scrutinising photos of themselves, not me, and also those that know me well will just think it’s an unflattering photo of me and not give it another thought (after they’ve had a bit of a wry smile about it!). It’s my lack of self-esteem that makes me worried about the photo and I often feel “not good enough” so the posting of the photo has tapped into my insecurities in a big way. I was very tempted to ask the poster to remove the photo, but I think that the moment has passed now and I don’t want to upset her (never mind me!) by asking her to remove it, even though I’d choose my words carefully. I don’t know her that well and i’m unsure about how she’d react. Maybe she’d think I was being overly sensitive and awkward. Well she’d be correct in that assumption! Thanks again - the person who suggested I may be rather self-obsessed may well be correct! Again, it’s my very low self-esteem rearing it’s ugly head! I shall politely ask - next time - not to post photos of me on Facebook or refuse a photo altogether. I think I can alter my settings in Facebook too (so that people can’t post my photo - not sure how that works!).

Could this particular photo be “photoshopped” ?

A few years ago I appeared on a group photo at a school reunion and it was DIRE! The person who took it did so from a funny angle and I look a very matronly shape, made even worse because I am holding a large bag in front of me!

I considered asking for it to be taken off but in the end I just tried not to think about it. It is truly awful.

The truth is that most people only look at themselves in photo's.. I doubt that any one of your colleagues has even noticed you

PS I think it's important to remember that anyone who knows you will know that it's not flattering. They know the real you and not the posed one. Photos, being stills, are never entirely natural - especially when they're posed.

As you're upset by it, I'd ask her to take it down. At least then you can, hopefully, forget about it. Also, if she has 'tagged' you in it, you can remove that tag yourself, so no more of your FB friends will see it.

Having said that, I bet no-one else has noticed that it's not flattering - they're probably too concerned about how they look themselves.

Still, as it bothers you then it's quite reasonable to ask for it to be removed.

I always try to squeeze in the back somehow in a group photo but I still manage to be making some weird face!
Please try not to worry about it. As others have said, it's already been forgotten.

If you are at a ‘do’ with lots of people attending you are sure to find yourself in at least one photo that goes online although it means a lot to you it won’t to anyone else who ll be busy looking for themself
Just make sure you never pose for a photo again ata do We ve all been there I m sure

I think is respectful to assume that some people really get freaked out by it, and why should they tolerate it? If you ask this once, and say why, then it won't be a surprise if you politely don't join in future photos.

Some people can laugh it off, others, not. Like I said above, there's an assumption we are all jolly about it - but why? Is it fair to those who don't feel that way?

Of course, it depends on the life you lead and how much social contact is inevitable and bound to be recorded, but I wouldn't post a picture without permission of those in it. it doesn't cost too much to say (when you get the group together for the photo) "I'm going to post this on Facebook so anyone who wants to opt out is just fine"

I think it’s a waste of time asking for the photo to be taking down, I’m sure we have all had photos taken that we have thought oh dear not a good photo, I know I have, but I wouldn’t ask anyone to take it down, I would laugh at myself!

People shouldn't post photographs of anyone on social media without their permission CanadianGran.

I know a lot of people will post on Facebook without asking permission of those in the photo, especially of an event. I think we all need to assume now that everywhere we go we are in the public domain, and available for publication.

Not to diminish your feelings, I think most people will get enjoyment of seeing who was at an event, and not criticize how they look in a photo.

If there were a specially unflattering photo, perhaps with mouth open, or sitting at an unflattering angle, then please ask the person to take the photo down, but otherwise I think most will think nothing of it.

You sound like me Blondiescot and I'm not convinced that a picture from our wedding album would suffice .

I completely understand how you feel - I just point blank refuse to have my photo taken - so if it bothers you, I would ask nicely if the person would take it down. My family even joke that if I were to disappear, there would be no 'missing person' posters as they don't have any photos of me to use.

I don’t post photos on Facebook anymore . I post on instagram or WhatsApp groups where it’s only a small group can see it . I also think long and hard before posting anything.

People are usually far too busy looking at their own photos and not liking them that I'm sure they will hardly notice yours.

And in any case we all know how people actually look.

At the very worst they might say it was an unflattering photo of you.

Just let it go if you can.

Do ask your friend to take the photo down , explain how you feel about it. Having said that it really will soon be forgotten!

There are so many pics of me online I’d never be able to track them all down! Friends, family, professional and I think I look ghastly in most of them, but I don’t care. Other people don’t think I look ghastly, and I don’t look at photos of other people and think they look ghastly. I would honestly let it go.

Yes, soon in one way it will be history, but that photo is up forever unless it's taken down. I dont think it does any harm to think before posting groups online that people may have very mixed feelings about it, but we are supposed to all be "good sorts" and jolly along with it.

I was involved in a press photo local rag about a work initiative and had no choice, but the thing was, that was paper and long gone!

Like Smileless and Poppyred I would ask extra politely to take it down if it's just the one, and ask ever so nicely not to put one with you up in future.

They sound like nice people who will hear you out. It's not OK imo to be exposed on social media if you are not comfortable with it. People seem to take for granted it is OK nowadays, but whyshould they, unless you are a public figure

Explain that you are sorry to ask but you feel so shy and embarrassed about being publicly exposed in this way is agonising for you, would they be so kind as...etc. Anyone thoughtful should respect this, we are not all the same.

Trouble is whether we like them or not if you weren’t alone in the photo they are posting for everyone not just you
You were asked to pose and that was the time to say “sorry I hate having my photo taken I ll miss this one out” but you willingly posed with a colleague so you really can’t complain if it went on social media
I m sure no one else noticed and it’s just you being self conscious
It’s not going to be around long so just forget it, it ll very soon be history, probably is already

I suppose another way of looking at it is - if we really look in reality as bad as we do in photos then at least our friends have accepted us as we are. 🥴