Thanks Sidelined. You're also welcome to join me if you ever change your mind.
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A bored person is a boring person
(66 Posts)Some years ago I proclaimed myself to be bored on another forum and promptly had my knuckles rapped by another member who said 'a bored person is a boring person' and then went on to explain in great detail why she never had a moment to be bored. Well, she was a retired professional with a wide circle of friends and seemingly a member of every group within a 50 mile radius. And of course she lived in a city. Of course she was never bored.
Well, I am a city person transplanted almost ten years ago to a very rural village that has almost no social activites or opportunities to mix with others. Add to that Covid reduced my already small group of personal friends and family and those left are, like me, ageing so we don't get to meet very often. I've exhausted the few social groups in the nearby market town and now have a retired husband who has an even smaller social life than me. I keep tripping over the poor chap who says he loves being at home but stops short of saying he hates having a bored wife.
Please tell me how you cope with boredom - I need some excellent ideas please.
Joyfulnanna - it was lixy who did the London fix. It’s a great idea, isn’t it - why not pm her…
My mother-in-law did this for years - probably till she was 90 or more.
It solved her missing the life she used to enjoy.
I think it's a great idea.
Hello,your message about your London fix resonated (is that how you spell it) with me. I do it occasionally. I did a week last autumn, really brilliant and took a show in every evening (was expensive but worth it). If you fancy joining me in London, let me know. Where are you from?
quite so.
If there are no real groups in the area, why not try starting your own? Pick something that you like - walking? Start a walking club that meets every so often and goes on planned walks. Baking? Create your own ‘bake off’ group. Knitting, cake a coffee group? Book club? I would maybe look at making some posters and a social media group and see what interest you get - just organising it will keep you occupied but you may make some really good friends out of it.
... and looked on Messenger at the latest photos of my greatgrandchildren...
Isn't it absolutely one of the greatest benefits of modern technology that we can keep up to date with family members who we otherwise don't see very often? 🥰
Join the WI
Volunteer
Sing in a choir
Walking netball
Get an allotment
Read to children in a school
Go to the library to see what is happening locally
Join a walking group
Start a book group
I certainly have no time to be bored.
Great post bijou
I wish you every success in making your life more interesting sidelined
Bijou you are an inspiration!
Go girl! 👏👏👏👏
I retired a year ago along with my DH , and made a decision to try new things. I volunteer in a charity shop one afternoon a week , which I really enjoy . I’ve never worked in retail , so it’s been a learning curve.
I joined a yoga class , it’s a small class with a lovely teacher . I also tried wild swimming, although I’m not hardcore enough to do it in the winter 🥶.
This summer I’m planning on trying paddle boarding.
We got a puppy when we retired , having lost our previous dog a year before . He keeps us busy and active and I often walk with friends with dogs.
Along with the house and garden and caring for my DM I’m never bored .
There’s a lot of good ideas on here .
I looked after my
Dementing/ stroke/ Alzheimer’s victim husband for 26 years …..until I had my third stroke and spent 5 days in a stroke unit ….all that time I was never bored!
I was depressed…exhausted….hurting….exhausted…..lonely….did I mention exhausted! He’s now gone into full time care…..now I’m bored … now at last I’m happy! Boredom is ace!
Write a daily journal.Put a list of things to do on each day,even if it’s cleaning the loo! Go for a walk,get on a bus, have your hair done, volunteer. You are worth getting to know! x
When I was a teenager and complained of being bored my Gran would say 'If you're bored it's your own fault. Do something about it.' She was a lovely Gran, but had little time for self pity.
Oldandproud
Totally agree. I have sister in law who can bore for the Olympics buts she is never bored.
I know some will judge that comment as harsh but you need to experience it.
... correlation ...
I don't think there is any corolation between being bored and being boring. It is just one of those trite, lazy soundbites that people like to trot out with every now and then, but that has no real basis whatsoever.
And I say that as someone who almost certainly is a boring person, but I am rarely if ever bored.
I have many interests and activities that I am happy to do on my own. I would also say that I have a tenancy become a bit obsessed with some of my interests and definitely in danger of boring anyone polite enough or foolish enough to listen to me talking about them.
During lockdown I enjoyed adult painting by numbers. I'm not very arty but found this really absorbing.
I don’t have the time to be bored . I have a help for an hour each morning to do washing up, housework, etc. It takes me so long to get myself washed and dressed and to get my breakfast prepared and eaten. Then by the time I have read my emails and looked on Messenger at the latest photos of my greatgrandchildren is lunch time. A nap after lunch then a watch a bit of TV. After my evening meal watch a film or documentary and news.
That’s what it is like when one is a hundred years old in pain in all joints, have outlived all your friends but at least still in my own home, have lived an interesting life.
As you are able to go online how about signing up a Virtual WI there are quite a few to choose from. You can go as a guest to each of them and then join one you like the most. They meet once a month and have demonstrations and speakers, one I did they had a demonstration of making chocolate eggs it was very interesting. They have clubs the same and ordinary WIs but they do them on line. The groups are ladies from all round the country so you get to hear about different parts of the country and some have members from Canada and Australia and New Zealand. They are good fun have a look at some here: www.thewi.org.uk/join-and-support-us/become-a-member/virtual-wis
Well thank you everyone for your great ideas and insights. They are much appreciated. Thank you 😁
Whoever told you that a bored person is boring was certainly unbearable rude!
I honestly believe we can all be bored at times, but you seem to be going through a time where boredom is chronic and is getting you down.
Have you tried going along to the nearest public library and looking through their leaflets on places of interest in your vicinity, clubs, activities or so on?
If your husband is recently retired now is the time to sit down and discuss what you as a couple, but also as two individuals want to use your retirement for, and then find out how you can do at least some of the things you come up with.
Hobbies are fine, but they don't as a general rule get you out and about, so they shouldn't take up the majority of your time, unless you are housebound due to poor health.
Have you tried volunteering? It can be quite a good way of meeting others as long as you are interested in whatever you are doing as a volunteer. I volunteer at our local museum, and am relaxing now after a srenuous but enjoyable three days with holiday activities for school-children.
This may well not be your cup of tea, but some other form of voluntary work might be.
We try to make sure that every day does't run according to the same timetable and that one day a week is completely unplanned. This is what suits us and staves off boredom, but again, it may not suit you.
I am just airing some suggestions in the hope that one may suggest a way forward to you.
What is the reason for not getting another dog? I can understand it if the intention is to travel or ( this is why we took a year out from having one) do other things that having a dog restrict you from doing. My dear cousin, sadly now deceased had a succession of older dogs from the Dogs Trust because it got her out of the house and away from her husband.
Volunteer with the National Trust one or more days a week, or possibly some other organisation. With the NT you meet lots of similar-minded people both the volunteers and the visitors. You get to know a lot about the property and there are often social events. I have two particular friends there and we meet for coffee or walks at other times. Your travelling expenses are paid. Give it a try, I love it.
Sidelined Please tell me how you cope with boredom - I need some excellent ideas please.
You asked, my days as follows, I'm not bored.
I walk dogs, exercise extensively, daily and hoover dog hair.
I read and study my Bible daily, and talk to God.
I cook every bite we eat, 3-5 hours daily plus clean up.
Our children, GC, GGC are round often, I cook/clean for them.
I shop online, for our needs to be delivered.
I dislike being out of home&garden, but we do have others in.
I read online news and economics.
I do my husband's business money.
That seems enough to keep me content.
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