I'm feeling somewhat guilty....

A few months ago , over the ready meals I had a long conversation with a rather handsome guy who was much younger than I am .

He was shopping for an elderly neighbour ,who has been abandoned
by his selfish family .

I told him about caring for my father .
He asked me a few questions about his care .

I continued my shop and thought nothing of it - except that it was a nice interlude .

When I went to pay for the shopping -around £100 - he suddenly appeared beside me and insisted on paying for the entire amount -quickly getting out his debit card and keying in the pin number as I fumbled in my bag for my card .

I was completely overwhelmed .
I didn't know what to say except for profuse thank yous in a cracked voice as tears welled .

I wondered if I looked poor and shabby and unable to pay .
I was dressed neatly but in a plain tracksuit and an out of style coat , which is 40 years old .

I haven't seen him since .

Random acts of kindness.
Absolutely beautiful. Always been said it’s harder to receive than to give. Unless you are mean and don’t like giving.

Esmay I don't think he was looking at what you were wearing or looked like. I think he saw what was in your heart.

I would feel embarrassed I think. If this young man is the shop owner, OK, but if he's showing off then that's not good - unless of course he pays for your goods himself, then that is very generous - but not normal in my book.

MerylStreep

NotAGran55
It’s not the latest thing Pay it forward has been a thing for many years.

Yes I know. I meant paying for shopping in shops for strangers.
Has this been going on long ? I’ve only heard of it recently.

Years ago I was behind an attractive man at the supermarket checkout. I looked at what he was buying and nearly licked my lips. He had a bottle of wine, box of chocolates, strawberries, ice cream and a pack of cream cakes. I jokingly said "What's your name and where do you live?"
He laughed and went off. As I was leaving the store he handed me a big box of chocolates. It was a lovely surprise.

It's a thing that they do in America. Called paying it forward. They will decide to pay for the person behind them. Its a pure act of kindness.

dogsmother

Random acts of kindness.
Absolutely beautiful. Always been said it’s harder to receive than to give. Unless you are mean and don’t like giving.

I think this thread shows that well. Many people have trouble receiving kindness and take it as a slight

I remember a few years ago, a neighbour(not close by) daughter got on the bus I was on, and she was 4 pence short of her bus fare. She was very young, and the miserable sod of a bus driver was all ready to eject her from the bus. I got up and put the money in the machine, and gave the driver such a withering look. Not that he cared. Next day the young woman came over with the said 4 pence and a message of immense gratitude from her mum. Obvs, I didn't take me pennies from her, but I did feel a warm glow at having helped a young person out. I would have done the same for anyone who just needed a few pence to continue their journey.

Athrawes

I would feel embarrassed I think. If this young man is the shop owner, OK, but if he's showing off then that's not good - unless of course he pays for your goods himself, then that is very generous - but not normal in my book.

i don't understand this comment.
the young man did pay for the goods himself.
that is what we are talking about.
what did you imagine happened ??

My late husband used to do this, because he wanted to, not for wanting any gratefulness (is that a word?).
If he was in a queue and the person in front was struggling to find their purse/wallet, he would 'pay it forward' because he was a lovely, thoughtful and generous man.
I miss him.

Why do we have to take every action and dissect it
Take it for what it was a kind gesture as way of an apology
Walk away and smile he may have an ulterior motive but you were the beneficiary.

Oh my. I think this is the nicest gesture I've heard of in quite a long time. He realized he was holding you up, and that's the only way he knew to make amends. I think you just be happy someone was considerate. He obviously has had some good home training.

I have done it once or twice - secretly paying the bill for a lady and little girl who kindly let me share their table at lunch time in a local tea-shop and openly buying a round of coffees for a group of teenagers about to be evicted by another (grumpy) coffee shop owner. When the teens said thanks I just asked them to do for someone else themselves one day.

And someone happily paid by bus fare when I had forgotten my granny card.

I sometimes pay for people, not because they are old or poor, but just because I have spare money sometimes... Just say thank you. He was trying to impress the girl, of course, and you were in the right place at the right time. So you pass on the good deed, when it is convenient for you...

There is a movement called paying it forward which is popular with younger people it involves performing an act of kindness in hopes that the next person will do the same if they can and if not then someone has been helped. I would be in no way offended by it! and even if you looked/are poor that would be nothing to be ashamed of by the way!

Maybe he was either paying it forward or paying back a kindness he'd previously received? We were in our Lidl branch recently (Lidl having a scheme where you get a one-off 10% discount after spending a certain amount withing a month). A chap was walking along the checkouts, spotted we had a big shop and asked the cashier to accept his discount on our shop. Not strictly speaking allowed I suspect, but we received 2 kindnesses through his generous offer and the cashier turning a blind eye to the proceedings! So, I shall repay both gestures to others when an appropriate opportunity arises, albeit will have to be in different ways.
There's a saying "no act of kindness is ever wasted".

It was his act of kindness for the day or possibly one of many. You just happened to be the lucky person. Quite a few people these days do random acts of kindness from paying a stranger's bill, putting money in an envelope inside a library book, leaving a bag of shopping on someones doorstep. Why? Because it is a lovely feeling for the giver and the recipient.

I agree with eddiecat and coronation- probs trying to impress the young lady and just doing good in the world, which so rarely happen these days.

Take it for what it was, kindness. Did we need to know that you purchased the Financial Times and fancy yogurt - No we did not.

What a kind gesture. Whatever his reason it is unkind of you to take offence. If you feel guilty then that is for you to manage. A donation to charity a good idea.

True kindness!

Trying to impress the young woman ….accept it gracefully can’t you!?

He was a gentleman, a somewhat rare species these days. 😉 I think you are overthinking this - consider yourself lucky.

You may encounter him again in the future. That will be your chance to thank him personally.

Be happy!
USA Gundy

Just accept it as a very kind gesture, nothing to feel upset or guilty about.. There are still some kind people in the world.