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2 year old grandaughter, concerns

(33 Posts)
Mojack26 Thu 31-Aug-23 20:15:56

Hi all, new to this but what a Godsend when I came across this forum! My 20 month old daughter is not speaking,just babbling and does not react to her name. I suggested to my daughter and son in law they get her hearing checked but they insist there is nothing wrong. She had a febrile convulsion last Christmas Eve and was in hospital. They can be linked to hearing loss and other problems and all this will affect speech. Long and short of it I don't know what to do? Tricky situation but they are both in denial...HELP

Imarocker Thu 31-Aug-23 20:33:26

You are obviously a loving and concerned granny. I’m afraid there is nothing you can do if they are refusing to have their DD daughter. You can only support them and be there for them. I hope they do come round to having her hearing checked. She may just need grommets.

Mojack26 Thu 31-Aug-23 20:36:58

Thank you, that's exactly what I thought. Very unlike my daughter, as she usually listens to me, but her hubby says nothing fingers 🤞🤞 they will see sense.

denbylover Thu 31-Aug-23 20:40:31

Your concern is understandable. If your granddaughter’s parents are, as you say ‘in denial’, you can do no more. I suspect before long a health worker, childcare worker or similar, someone outside the family who interacts with your granddaughter may also draw attention to this possible issue. I hope for everyone’s sake a solution is found before too long.

Hithere Thu 31-Aug-23 20:51:16

There could be something else parents are keeping private?

ParlorGames Thu 31-Aug-23 20:52:42

Assuming that your DD, SIL and GD live in the UK, won't the child get a two year check by a Health professional or is that not a thing now?

Primrose53 Thu 31-Aug-23 21:02:52

Could be hearing, could be autism, could be ear infection, could be learning difficulty but as the others say, all you can do is be there.

She must be due a check up soon so presumably they will take her.

What I will say is that the earlier she is diagnosed the better the outlook. I know kids with autism for example who were not diagnosed until their teens and got no help but a little boy I know was diagnosed at 2 and has made marvellous progress.

Hetty58 Thu 31-Aug-23 21:05:31

A 20 month old child doesn't necessarily speak and some don't react to their name, either. I think you may be jumping to conclusions.

My second son didn't speak at all until he was two, then suddenly came out with complete phrases and sentences. He had ear infections as a baby, so often had his hearing checked and there was nothing wrong.

My grandson, with autism, lived in his own little world (still does, quite often) so never seemed to react. He could hear us well but usually ignored us. We had to wait until he was three for tests and confirmation of his autism.

You've voiced your concerns and that's all you can do. The parents will deal with things when they're ready - if there's anything wrong.

Floradora9 Thu 31-Aug-23 21:45:53

Stand behind her and make a noise , see if she reacts . That is what the health visitor will do .

crazyH Thu 31-Aug-23 22:19:09

My grandson has ‘glue ear’ - I’m sure that’s what it’s called. He’s under the care of an ENT specialist.

ElaineI Thu 31-Aug-23 22:41:46

She is still very young and if she is babbling then that is good. The 2 year check up usually involves a comprehensive questionnaire that covers everything and then a follow up by health visitor (Scotland but should be similar elsewhere). Does she babble "dada, ba ba, woof" things like that? That's the start of forming words. They are all different. DS didn't start words till over 2 as DD spoke for him " D wants this, D says that, D needs milk". Welcome to the forum and ask away. Lots of different opinions and advice.

Hithere Fri 01-Sep-23 00:09:59

She has 4 months to be 2 y.o.

Those 4 months make a huge difference in development

Mojack26 Fri 01-Sep-23 00:20:40

Yes she will get one at 2.

Mojack26 Fri 01-Sep-23 00:25:31

Yes all these things crossed my mind too. As a retired teacher I keep telling them early intervention is key but....what does mum know?

Mojack26 Fri 01-Sep-23 00:29:58

Yes.. in Scotland,babbling but nothing coherent. Not reacting to her name. Hearing and Autism are my concerns. As a retired teacher worked with a fair few autistic children.

Mojack26 Fri 01-Sep-23 00:31:14

Done it already,she doesn't react.

Mojack26 Fri 01-Sep-23 00:38:33

Me too,thank you

multicolourswapshop Fri 01-Sep-23 01:40:46

Hi Mojack26 I think perhaps you are worrying unnecessary your Grandaughter has lots of time to start talking, never the less keep an eye on her. I’d give her another yr or so before I would consider whether there was a problem here.

multicolourswapshop Fri 01-Sep-23 01:45:16

Sorry Mojack26 your daughter not your Grandaughter. I’m sure all will be well, relax a little, give your daughter a few months then consider whether she needs help or not.

Mojack26 Fri 01-Sep-23 08:29:47

Doubt that as my daughter is very open with me,always has been

M0nica Fri 01-Sep-23 08:48:38

Babbling is a good sign of hearing as the sounds heard in babbling will be echoing the sounds she iss hearing.

Franbern Fri 01-Sep-23 10:10:25

Oh dear, another g.parent who thinks they know better about a child than that child's main carers (her parents).

Obviously, any of the things mentioned here (glue ear, autism,), COULD be the cause. However, the most probable reason is that the child is just not ready to start to talk yet. Babbling cover virtually every known language, and shows that the babe has th ability to talk.

My twins babbled happily away until they were well turned two years old. There were three slightly older siblings and most of my time (language wise) was spent on rying to etend the vocabulary of the three year old and help the 5 & 6 year olds with their reading skills.

At their two yeawr odl check, the elderly, retired Doctor brought back for Well Baby clinic was alarmed at my reply of ' NONE' to how many words they had. The Health Visitor, who knew me, told him that there were three only slightly older children and I was an experienced Mother and Foster Parent and if I was not concerned, chances are nothing tobe concerned about.

At two years and three months, even hubbie, who usually accepted what I said on child upbringing, was expressing concern. It was a couple of months after that they both started to use words - and then (to my total amazement) within the space of a fortnight moved on to whole sentences being used. When I thought about I realised I had not done much of the single word bit to them.

Obviously okay, as this was many years ago and both managed excellent Backelors degrees and Masters Degrees etc.

Madgran77 Fri 01-Sep-23 10:45:02


Done it already,she doesn't react.

Then hearing is a very likely problem! ...if you are referring to loud noise behind her!

Madgran77 Fri 01-Sep-23 10:45:58


Babbling is a good sign of hearing as the sounds heard in babbling will be echoing the sounds she iss hearing.

Possibly but deaf babies do also babble away.

karmalady Fri 01-Sep-23 10:55:26

Mojack, yes of course it is worrying you but now, as a grandparent you have a different role. Step back, be supportive and give advice only when asked. Grandparenting is a secondary role and it is very difficult for a caring person, as you obviously are, to step out of parent shoes and into a more detached role.