Thoughts on my will.

Whatever you decide do not use % as that % will rely on the sale price of the major asset, the house. It will be difficult enough getting three people to agree a sale price and even more difficult if one wants to get the highest price possible to benefit those getting a %

We are just updating our Wills Powers of Attirney etc and the solicitor said we could each write a letter of Wishes for the surviving partner to carry out.

EG - On my wishes list will be
To be cremated
To have a wicker casket
For the family to wear bright colours
To leave each grandchild say £1,000 from the estate

Then the surviving partner carries this out. He or she can then have their own Wishes list and they could say £2,000 each and then we would expect our son to abide by this.

Seems relatively simple.

Attorney

I have not left the GC any money - I have 6. Only 2 were born at the time I wrote my Will. I will now do a codicil, leaving them a small amount each plus pieces of my jewellery.
We have to fair. My point is this. The 2 daughters-in- law will inherit their Mothers’ jewellery, so, most of my jewellery will go to my daughter .

I only have one GC currently but although he was born the last time I updated my will it states it's up to his parents to decide if he should inherit something or not and if so they should pay it out of their share of the inheritance. I don't understand why my other Son would get a reduced amount because his brother had at least one child.

It seems unfair to me that the childless ones would receive less in order to give something to the grandchildren. I couldn’t do that.

From experience, childless children can feel slighted if their own share is reduced….. fairer to split it evenly 50/50 but ask the child with your granchildren to maybe give their kids something ?

There's no right or wrong here, it's what you feel seems right for your family. It can be helpful to talk about it. We have explained that we think it would be helpful for the GCs to have a sum to help in what is likely to be their young adulthood.
We decided to split our estate (what's left after care fees!) 50% to GCs, and 50% to our children. We have specified that the GCs are grandchildren by birth or adoption.
If we get a 'step' that it would seem fair to include we'll have to change the will, but you can't work out all eventualities.
The money will be held in trust until each child is 25, but can be released earlier for specific reasons (the trustees are our children)
Not perfect, but it reflects our wishes, and has been explained to all.
Our slight concern is that one GC has, because of sad family circumstances, a large sum of money in trust (from the other side of the family). They will eventually have a great deal more money than their cousins, but we think any 'evening up' attempts might not work well. I keep an open mind.

PS: I think that anyone who thinks that their beneficiaries might gift money on needs to be aware that:
1. they might not!
2. If they are claiming any means-related benefits they will be treated as if they received the money specified in the will

I don't see why a childless AC should have his / her inheritance decreased to accommodate a sibling who has children. We have divided our estate equally between our three children. Two AC have given us GC and their sibling will not have children. That makes it simple and fair.

My late husband and I always believe children inherit from parents. Unfortunately he died aged 47. He left everything to me except his personalised number plate . Which I sold and the children had half the money each as neither wanted it on their cars.

My old will was simple everything divided between the children equally.
Due to my son deciding I am surplus to requirement 3 years ago. His choice I never saw it coming and he did it via email and follow up letter.

He doesn't want me alive he will not benefit when I am dead.

I did my last will as I won't change it in 2020 and took out both lasting powers of attorney at the same time my daughter and son in law are my attorneys. Everything is left to my daughter unless she dies before me then my 2 grandson's will inherit equally.

I have 3 grandson's by my son and daughter in law. I have left them nothing. I only know the oldest 2. Don't even know the name of their youngest's name or date of birth.

Even if my son decides he wants me back in his life. My will won't be changed. I can never forgive,forget or ever trust my son again.

At the same time I said to my daughter about having just a cremation and I would pay for it then. But she said she wants a funeral but it will be her responsibility when I die and she will pay for it. It will be like her dad's . We are atheist's so had non religious funeral and cremation. No flowers and any donations will go to charity. No wake.

My husbands ashes and mine with be sprinkle in a pretty spot together.

My dad died 10 years before my mom . They wanted their ashes to be sprinkled together. They had a favourite spot by the river Severn . They used to sit in a hut and have a picnic. So at dusk in 2017 my brother had dad's and me mom's and mixed them together and sprinkled them on the river bank. It wasn't legal but it's what they wanted. It wasn't sad because it wasn't them. Hopefully they fertilised the ground for the wild flowers.

We had always made a will since we got married and updated as the children came along and then I did it after his death. Neither of children said they wanted my money I said that's good as there won't be much cash by a property to sell.

But if I need to go into a home then my home will have to be sold for my care . So there will be no inheritance as any savings will also have to be used.

Did you know anyone can contest your will up to 2 years after you die ? I didn't until I made my last will. Because of me cutting my son out of my will I had to safe guard it. I have a rare hereditary neurological condition which I didn't have a diagnosis for until last year. But at the time of doing my will had no diagnosis so had to get a letter from my GP stating my disability was physical and I was not mentally ill. Then had to write a letter stating why I had cut my son out of my will. My solicitor asked me to write about my life with my son pre 2020 including my husband's death and life afterwards . I ended up writing 13 pages of A4 . My solicitor cried when she read it. The letter and my GP's letter wouldn't see the light of day unless my son contests my will. But my solicitor also has a copy of his email and letter.

But he will never know when I die as there is no need. He not only cut me out of their lives but his sister and all our side of the family. After my mother in law's death 11 years after my husband never had anything to do with his family he was an only child.

We have left 5% to be shared by GC and divided the rest equally between our two children.
We wanted the GC to know we had thought of them specifically.
One of my children does not have children but 5% is really not very much so should not cause any problems.
I hope

I have left my 3 AC an equal percentage each, with a teeny bit extra to the executor as there will be expenses. I have a sipp and my dgc will each get a small % of that, whatever is left. That is dealt with separately to the will.

One couple is childless by choice, long term legal partners. If my son dies before me then I have ensured that his share goes to the other two AC. I would give a little cash to my sons female partner but nothing in my will

All done through a solicitor

I don’t see anything wrong with leaving a set amount to each grandchild before the rest of the estate is divided up, and I can’t imagine why any loving aunt or uncle would resent this. We didn’t do it, but were tempted to leave each of our grandsons a small amount for themselves when we updated our wills four years ago - our solicitor mentioned how pleased grandchildren were to be mentioned by name. It’s a good job we didn’t, as we welcomed a very much unexpected new grandson within the year, and would have had to change the wills again!

I like the idea of leaving a set sum to each grandchild or a percentage. It acknowledges they are people in their own right and are important to you.

Thank you so much everyone for your thoughts.
I'm going to have a good think about what I do!
I was particularly interested in those that felt childless children shouldn't miss out because one child has children - but then I worry about the family with children needing financial support more than the others!
I am also aware that something like care home fees may eat all the inheritance!
Sadly my first husband and the children's father died 24 years ago. My second husband has dementia and is a care home (hence knowing how care home fees eat into savings)

GFplux I disagree profoundly with your comment on not using %s in a will, and your reasoning for saying so. I saw a house brought to total dereliction by someone leaving his much younger second wife a fixed amount of the value of the family holiday home.

Between making his will and dying, the testators holiday home rocketted in value, by the time he died the fixed amount he had left his wife had gone from half the value of the house to barely 10%. So she refused to agree to the sale. The children lived in Australia, so they did not visit it or use it, neither did his wife and over 20 years we watched a very pretty thatched cottage seaside home become totally derelict. The roof collapsed and the forest around Sleeping Beauty's castle was nothing to the state of the garden.

When the second wife died, the plot was sold and the collapsed remains of the house demolished.

If a family want a fight over a will, they will fight regardless of how carefully the will is drafted.

I would, and have left money to our grandchildren that dousen't come from the money left to DS. It doesn't have to be a large sum. Say, your estate is worth the average value of a house at the moment, roughly £285,000. If you have three children, one with 3 children, to leave the grandchildren £5 - £10,000 will make very little difference to how much each of the adult children will inherit.

We are in that situation, except that it is 2 children and 2 grandchildren. However, in our case, our DD has told us, without any kind of prompting, that she considers that any money or support we give to our grandchildren is entirely separate from anything we give to her and her brother.

We have also left small sums to our niece, godchildren and a substantial amount to charity. Our children know all this.

My parents mirror wills had an equal percentage for each of their three children and the same, but smaller percentage for each grandchild. My brother is childless, there was no animosity when the time came.

NanKate - I had planned a wicker casket for my OH, but when it came to it I discovered they were by far the most expensive. I went for the cheapest possible as I know he would have seen it as a total waste of money.

I have left my estate to be divided equally between my 3 DDs, with a comment that I would like some to go to their children if circumstances permit. It is then left to their discretion.

Mine gives £10k to each GC when they reach 25 the rest equally between children. Anything else is then up to the parents who by that time will likely in their 60s.

My mum did a % of whole ..10% to be divided equally between her 4 grandchildren. It worked well

Germanshepherdsmum

It seems unfair to me that the childless ones would receive less in order to give something to the grandchildren. I couldn’t do that.

We have two sons, the older one has three children and the younger one has none and is unlikely to now. When we decided to update our wills a few months ago we wanted to leave something to our grandchildren as we are very close to them because we helped with their child care. We thought perhaps a percentage of our estate each and we spoke to our younger son and daughter-in-law about it and they were perfectly happy. However in May our DIL without children was diagnosed with breast cancer and the side effect of lymphedema in her right arm and hand has left her unable to work so we have now decided to leave just a nominal sum to the grandchildren.

I have 2 DDs. 1 has two teenaged children and the other has one. BUT The DD with the 2 children has Fairly well off In Laws still alive, whereas the DD with 1 child has already lost the In Law Granny and Grandad who left next to nothing.

So, after frank discussion with my DDs we are agreed that the DDs will inherit 50% each, then it will be up to them how much they give to, or spend on, their children

M0nica

GFplux I disagree profoundly with your comment on not using %s in a will, and your reasoning for saying so. I saw a house brought to total dereliction by someone leaving his much younger second wife a fixed amount of the value of the family holiday home.

Between making his will and dying, the testators holiday home rocketted in value, by the time he died the fixed amount he had left his wife had gone from half the value of the house to barely 10%. So she refused to agree to the sale. The children lived in Australia, so they did not visit it or use it, neither did his wife and over 20 years we watched a very pretty thatched cottage seaside home become totally derelict. The roof collapsed and the forest around Sleeping Beauty's castle was nothing to the state of the garden.

When the second wife died, the plot was sold and the collapsed remains of the house demolished.

If a family want a fight over a will, they will fight regardless of how carefully the will is drafted.

I would, and have left money to our grandchildren that dousen't come from the money left to DS. It doesn't have to be a large sum. Say, your estate is worth the average value of a house at the moment, roughly £285,000. If you have three children, one with 3 children, to leave the grandchildren £5 - £10,000 will make very little difference to how much each of the adult children will inherit.

We are in that situation, except that it is 2 children and 2 grandchildren. However, in our case, our DD has told us, without any kind of prompting, that she considers that any money or support we give to our grandchildren is entirely separate from anything we give to her and her brother.

We have also left small sums to our niece, godchildren and a substantial amount to charity. Our children know all this.

You may be correct. However I have heard of cases where people have left a % to a charity and the charity have not allowed any sale of assets while they want to achieve the highest price. The charity do not have any time pressures and can hold up sales for years and years.