My parents were very independent but in their final years, looking back, I now see they would probably have appreciated more support from me, as they did become very dependent on their neighbours. I lived an hour and a half away and worked full time so I saw them roughly every three weeks, alternating with other family members.
My husband died six months ago, and currently I am restricted by an injury, so I am really grateful for the support my family can give me. They are fairly local to me, but have busy lives with work and families. I will in due course be more independent but it has made me think hard about the future.
We moved a few years ago into a small market town, on a bus route, with doctors, shops etc handy, already future proofing our lives. But now the garden is too much. If I am going to move, I should probably do so in a couple of years’ time whilst I can still cope with the upheaval. But where? And then what?
When I read about others who are tied into caring for their elderly parents, I would not want to put my children into that position, but I hope to be near enough to make it easy for them to visit me. One of them is likely to move away in maybe 3-4 years’ time.
So I am not looking for immediate personal advice, but to open a discussion on how others see the future, when you need more help, maybe lose independence but want not to burden your family. What plans have you made? How can we keep our independence, when we become less able to manage, when we need more support? Have you moved nearer to family? Could you ever live with them? What has worked for you?
