How to refuse without offending

If they are truly good friends they will appreciate and understand your honesty. They won't know your preferences unless you tell them. They will assume you like playing the games. If, however, they are acquaintances, then politely refuse the invitation. Life is too short to put up with things that make us uncomfortable if we have a choice.

You can get away with excuses a couple of times not continually, either you or OH needs to have a discrete word that you would prefer conversation to games.

If it’s 3 or 4 couples that play games and you are the only ones who don’t like it, are you really in that set?.

I am of an age I only do things or go to places I want. I think folk like honesty. Just say no! But thank you for asking. Then dont fret.

Just be honest and say you've really tried to engage with the games but it's just not your thing and as others have said, see if you can have a quiet meal together.

No is a complete sentence. You dont necessarily need to explain.

I go on a coach holiday with a couple of friends most years. I enjoy the holiday and their company but both take travel games and playing cards with them for the evenings. Same when I’ve been on U3A holidays - I’ve had to go out for a walk to get out of it before now as it’s not my idea of fun either - I just want to relax and chat in the evening . I don’t like quizzes either probably cause I’m no good at them - I know the feeling Madwoman11 but it’s difficult to get out of isn’t it.

Thanks everyone, and a very Happy New Year to you all

I’ll go in your place if you like - I love games!

Depends on the nature of the games!
I have enjoyed two evenings of games with my family, but I might not with other people.

As a child I managed to evade games at school for years so I'm sure you as adults can do the same with your friends.

If they are good friends surely they know you don't like playing games. My husband hates playing games and will play a few when family meets up, but he opts out of most and everyone is happy to let him

I have the same problem of saying no without causing offence. One Christmas, a close family member asked me, quite bitterly “what’s the matter with you?!” when I was very reluctant to play a silly “game” involving false chins/mouths/moustaches made out of cardboard. Not very hygienic either - this was before COVID when we were less aware, but still unhygienic. The main thing is, though, that I hate to draw attention to myself/make myself look stupid (I’ve always been the same, but probably worse now I’m older - late 60’s - and uglier!) On another occasion, we were encouraged to play a word game where you read out a very upsetting/harsh scenario from a card which contains rude language and swear words and others guess the answers. It may be called Cards against Humanity? I wasn’t comfortable with this, but went along with it. I quite “enjoyed” watching others play this game, in a way, but I was squirming, red faced and almost tongue-tied when it was my turn to ask the question. I think others enjoyed watching my intense embarrassment, which I found slightly cruel. Not my idea of fun. I have been told I have a keen sense of humour by several people, and I believe that to be true, but I just don’t like making a fool of myself and never will. I do like card games, quizzes etc and find them very entertaining. And sitting chatting, eating, drinking - that’s more me!

I spent a lot of time at my son and DILs house for social gatherings. I hated every second because I didn’t like her family or friends very much. I have lifelong social anxiety so that made it worse. I can feel my neck and face heating up just thinking about it. Anyway they split up and in the meantime I realised I had social anxiety because I was on the autistic spectrum. So since knowing there was an actual reason for it I have decided not to put myself through social gatherings any more. Just tell them ‘actually we’re not really party people. We prefer to stay at home.’ And decline any invitations. I still have to do this but I have stopped worrying about what other people think. If you do this it takes the pressure off. I sometimes get called a hermit but it really doesn’t bother me. Life is too short to waste it on doing stuff that makes you feel uncomfortable.

Couldn't you just go for the food and drinks and ask to just spectate at the games? Or tell them you don't enjoy the games as much ' now', but do it when there is not an invitation being issued.

What sort of games are you talking about ? I like card games and board games , which I’ve always played with my family especially at Christmas and when my dc were small we always took cards on holiday . Uno was a favourite.
I’ve found the problem with games played by adults is that some people get very competitive and get very serious, and can be patronising to those who are not so quick to understand the game.

"We can't say "No we don't enjoy it" , or "We don't like the compulsory games"." Why not? You do not owe them playing games with them.

we always take a wide range of games on holiday.. it's great fun

I’d much rather a friend was honest with me about not liking games than lied to me about why they wouldn’t come.

Another one who's not keen on games, whereas the other branches of my family are, so social gatherings often feature the perishing activity! If it's a game where you can get eliminated early on its a good way of just being able to sit back and let the rest carry on!

Personally, I’ll do a game or two but they have to be games that I LIKE… word games, trivia, certain card games. The rest you can chuck. No board games per se.

Then there are some real competitive players too - and if they get out of hand, they drive me nuts! No thank you.

I am truly the conversation type. Love talking to others. I’d be right up front and honest with the hosts.
Game on or Salon?
USA Gundy

I hate games too - don't know why, just do.
On your side all the way!!

If they are friends they will know you and a simple no will not offend.