Pain in the **** 'friend'

Unfortunately , this happens frequently the wife is nice and the hubby a complete bore and occasionally the opposite !
I know that my father lost friends through my mother's icy snobbish behaviour .
I've seen my daughter ,who is so like her isolate her husband from his friends , due to her insecurities .
I also lost friends , because my partner was so unfriendly and antisocial towards people that he considered his social inferior .

You want to remain friends with one , but not the other .
Stay friends with her inviting her out to shop or lunch .
It's very difficult .
But carefully avoid him as much as you can .
Obviously , his behaviour is so appalling that he has no friends that's why he's attached himself to your husband .
He's bored everyone else senseless .

@Nannyof4mummyof2 try posting under a new thread you may get more support.

That sounds a good plan Georgesgran

Tell him there's a virus going round the house,you wouldn't want him to catch it

Hi interested in others thought please be kind i am a sensative soul
My father who was abscent all my life from 7 - 55 came back into my life i am now 64 i like his company and we are very close but i have still got baggage re abandonment he can be very nice one minute and totally rude aggressive insensative and downright childish and thoughtless too when i see him for short periods i can endure this but my mental health is fragile and the last 2 times of spending 3 or 4 days with him completely wiped me out and i fell into a black hole by hubby and sone cant tolerate him at all but do for my sake and me and elevate the pressures with his contant talking put downs critism snobbery inappropriate chat eg he thinks a superior to most got a rep and was a bit a gangster in day hes has ostracized everyone around him and he is constantly telling lies recently he said he wants to come and visit for a few days but i dont know how to handle it all and it causes difficulty as we dont have the extra money for entertainment etc i feel so mixed up what shall i do??

As AGAA4 says, you need to set some boundaries with this man.

If he's too selfish to understand that you are with family at this time - bombarding your DH with text messages - then clearly he's going to be a problem. And the fact that he belittles his wife in company, ugh!, he sounds like a complete bore.

I think your husband is going to have to make it clear that you are a busy couple with commitments and don't have much time for socialising... kind of thing?

Hopefully, you can see his wife on her own,

I imagine because he sees him at his club Philippa where the OP’s husband first met this man.
If excuses are to be deployed, a good tactic, you and your husband Newatthis must agree and make sure your excuses are consistent.
He sounds very wearing, a bully and desperate.

Perhaps you could meet the lady on her own, during the day, if you find her good company and leave your DH to deal with the husband at their weekly club meeting?
I think you need to have a long list of excuses ready to get out of meeting up as a foursome though.

'No thank you'

'Oh, not now, we're busy'

'Too tired'

'Family are round all this long break'

'No thank you'

Over and over -- as you would with a poorly behaved child!

He sounds like a thoroughly unpleasant man! Why does your husband have to see him every week? Is it for work?
If it's not work then he needs to stop taking the calls and start delaying answering the texts... by a day and then another etc. He can say he has a full schedule and meet less and eventually stop the contact.
One can be tired, busy, lacking sleep, ill etc...

You need to set boundaries with this couple and decide how much time if any you want to spend with them.
The fact that he belittles his wife in front of others would put me off having anything to do with him.

punctuation

Sorry - a couple of punctyation errors but I don't know how to edit.