Grandson not allowed extra activities

My daughters partner sometimes takes his sons from his previous relationship to an evening activity or football practice at weekends could your son not offer to do that if Mum can’t do it. It’s a shame he misses out.

She lives 4 hours drive away therefore we only see him during school holidays,.

If you live close enough, why not offer to take him, I’m sure she would be grateful, you’d see more of him and he definitely would be happy to be able to go? I wouldn’t waste my time worrying about why she doesn’t take him, just focus on how you can help him do this.

Sorry, I was writing my post so didn’t your reply saying see you lived so far away. Other options might be to offer to pay his class costs, as it may be lack of funds preventing her taking him, or for your son to ask her about other children’s parents who are attending the classes dropping him off at home?

Before she moved away, i used to take him swimming every week , which he loved so much.

Is it a financial worry ? Maybe she is worried about buying uniforms and equipment. Or maybe she can’t be bothered, worst case scenario!

Difficult one because of how far away you live from the grandson
Cant his Dad sort this out Does he also live 4 hours away or is he any nearer ?
If his Dad is nearer he could sort it with her and do the ferrying/paying etc but if he’s also a long way away I dont know theres anything can be done, but thats very unfortunate as kids love afterschool activities and miss out if not allowed

Couldnt dad still put his foot down and pay for a class etc he after all should have as much say as the mother in the childs upbringing and life

Does she work? Is it the time? Is it the cost?

What does your son take him to in his parenting time? I don't think 6 year olds need to do loads of activities

I wouldn’t interfere in this, it’s not critical at 6 yrs old, maybe in 3 or 4 yrs time if he isnt doing anything you will mention it, maybe even offer to pay if cash is short.

Not your business.
Leave his father to organize it.

I’d be checking via his father if this is fact, young children are quite astute.

How much maintenance dies your son pay? It may not be enough to cover more than food and some clothes. Money could be tight, it's not just the cost of the activities, it's the petrol costs, costs of the kit required for karate, football etc.

I hope your son lives near enough to take an active interest in his child's welfare and could take him, if not then perhaps he could offer to pay to fund these activities.

Apologies, I don't need to know exactly how much your son pays in maintenance, just that I have seen mothers struggling to pay for even the basics from maintenance which can be woefully inadequate to cover even the basics.

These things can prove very expensive to do and, if she is a single mother, she will likely already have a trying schedule. I think it's unfair to judge whether or not she 'should' be able to facilitate this unless you are looking after the child full time and managing the same schedule as the mother.

What is your son, his father, doing about this?

None of your business - it may not be a matter of financial means, but time constraints, or the child does not stick to one activity long enough...

It is absolutely none of your business what your ex daughter in law decides to do or not do with her son when she looks after him for the majority of the time. Your son could raise the subject with her, if they are amicable. Of course you are concerned for your dgs, but please don't get involved. It reads as if you feel critical of your ex daughter in law

She must have her reasons, time or financial, she wont be not taking him just to be nasty.

Maybe your son could take him to activities when he sees him.

Of course it’s your business. He’s your Grandson.
I wonder if he could tie up with someone else in the village? You could offer to pay fuel.
Maybe find out who runs the club and ask if he’d be willing to set up in the village.
Offer to pay for a taxi?

My daughter works full time (some days from home) but doesn't do after school activities as she has two children and there never seems to be an activity that both can go to. Going to and from school several times really does eat into your evening especially if you are also supposed to be working.
Weekend activities are another matter, they both go to different gym classes which they enjoy.
The after-school club did some nice activities but she found that she didn't have enough time left to do the reading and homework properly afterwards.

Tbh as she's a single parent it's probably a cost or time thing, I think you should take it up with your son though.

If your concern he can’t swim, I would check with your local leisure centre or swimming schools for holiday courses. They operate every day over a period of 1-2 weeks during the Easter and summer holidays and you and your son could take him as he’ll be with you.

Lots of children don’t attend clubs, it isn’t unusual

It's bloody hard work having after school or even weekend activities.
They take over and its not just about the child wanting to do the activity it's about the parents too.

My boys played football at the weekend but it wasn't just the weekend, there might be midweek training, or a meeting or a fundraising event. There was kits to be washed. Lifts to be sorted. It was never ending. Mine might have been extra crazy as I had 3 boys playing football. I look back and actually know that if it wasn't for how close us parents became, i'm not sure i would have managed.

I think it’s important to encourage a child in all that they want to do. My son always loved sport and went to both judo and football after school clubs from five because he so desperately wanted to. More followed as he grew older. He always said he wanted to work in sport (preferably as a top footballer when he was young!) which I rather pooh poohed. He now has a BSc in Sports Therapy and has just finished his MSc in Physiotherapy. Eventually he wants to work for a sports team. He still plays various sports regularly. I’m glad I encouraged his youthful interests.