Partner refuses to speak to my 8 year old grandson

He sounds a real old misery.
It is a shame though, if you're very fond of him, but honestly, who wants to be told what to do?

sandra13

I return to the UK tomorrow. I will have a very frank conversation with him. I’m not hopeful that he’ll hear what I have to say though. I’m very sad.

What's the betting it will be all your fault!

But in fact, it isn't.

sandra13

I return to the UK tomorrow. I will have a very frank conversation with him. I’m not hopeful that he’ll hear what I have to say though. I’m very sad.

He has no relationship with his own granddaughters (8 and 10) and blames his daughter, but I think he is the problem. His biggest concern with his GDs is that they are doted on my their mother.
That really does ring alarm bells.
I know the term narcissism is bandied around these days too freely but it might be that he has jealous narcissistic tendencies.

Chin up, you have your family whom you love and who love you, including your chatty little grandson.

That man does not deserve you.

Curtaintwitcher

Above post is aimed at you, and no one else

Frankly rude and unhelpful response!

Really, guess I too must be lax in the manners department!

Some people eh!

Take care sandra and good luck.

Curtaintwitcher

I have a totally different opinion from everyone else here. It sounds as though your grandson is spoiled, hasn't been taught any manners or respect. It is not ok to interrupt someone while they are talking on the phone, unless there is an emergency.

There is this assumption that a new partner must also take on the rest of the family. I don't agree. We all have different standards and your new partner seems to have higher standards than you. Find someone who is as lax on manners as you are.

Dear me!! It might not be ok but children have to learn; will make mistakes just like adults!! Noone is perfect!

And if this bloke is still sulking and refusing to speak to an 8 year old CHILD who made a mistake then it is the adult who is at fault and who is the one who needs to GROW UP! And he is NOT showing love and care for his partner either!!!

OMG! My very first thought is why on earth are you with him! Sorry xx

Hope you work things out x

Germanshepherdsmum

I wish you well. Look after yourself.

... me too.

Keep a level head sandra13.

Rekindling an old relationship is fraught with obstacles Sandra .
It can work if you are both determined to make it and I know 2 couples who have achieved this though one of the individuals has since died
It sounds as though your OH wants you all to himself and is keener than you are.
Keep him at arm's length is my advice. Keep your own home. Don't lose your independence. Your family is too precious.

I wish you well. Look after yourself.

I return to the UK tomorrow. I will have a very frank conversation with him. I’m not hopeful that he’ll hear what I have to say though. I’m very sad.

Maybe we can turn that round and say he has made a huge problem out of a tiny tiny one

Don’t you see Sandra that this all part of his personality …turn it round and blame the other

A woman is punched and the old sentence comes out ‘why did you make me do that’
(Of course it could be a man hit but in ‘my’ experience its more often a woman)

What are you going to do now, sandra13?

This is actually a true story.

His take on my reaction is that I’ve “made a major thing out of a hiccup”.

Think carefully about carrying on this relationship take back the control and consider what is best for you

sandra13

Tin Soldier

I am a British citizen so immigration is not an issue for me.

That makes it easier but do be careful about tax implications if you will be spending more than six months a year in the UK.

Also consider whether there are any healthcare implications. British citizenship does not confer an automatic right to free NHS healthcare although the country in which you have your home may have a reciprocal arrangement with the UK.

I am not being nosey or probing as someone has suggested. A lot of people here are urging you to leave this man. I’m just flagging up some things that you might care to think about were you to weigh up the pros and cons of continuing this relationship.

M0nica

'She only does it to annoy because she knows it teases' (with apologies to Lewis Carroll)

Curtaintwitcher, that is.

I am not actually in favour of a like button but I would use it for this. 👍

💡

Absolutely Calistemon ! 🤣🤣

RosiesMaw

Grannytomany

Curtaintwitcher

I have a totally different opinion from everyone else here. It sounds as though your grandson is spoiled, hasn't been taught any manners or respect. It is not ok to interrupt someone while they are talking on the phone, unless there is an emergency.

There is this assumption that a new partner must also take on the rest of the family. I don't agree. We all have different standards and your new partner seems to have higher standards than you. Find someone who is as lax on manners as you are.

Oh dear.

Bring back the days of sending little boys up chimneys, children should be seen and not heard, spare the rod and spoil the child etc?

He's old enough to go down the pit. Small children are very useful for pulling and pushing tubs of coal along narrow passageways.
That'll keep him quiet.

Grannytomany

Curtaintwitcher

I have a totally different opinion from everyone else here. It sounds as though your grandson is spoiled, hasn't been taught any manners or respect. It is not ok to interrupt someone while they are talking on the phone, unless there is an emergency.

There is this assumption that a new partner must also take on the rest of the family. I don't agree. We all have different standards and your new partner seems to have higher standards than you. Find someone who is as lax on manners as you are.

Oh dear.

Bring back the days of sending little boys up chimneys, children should be seen and not heard, spare the rod and spoil the child etc?

Perhaps because some stories stretch credulity?

sandra13

Tin Soldier

I am a British citizen so immigration is not an issue for me.

I think you've given enough information for general 'advice'. Sometimes I find the nosiness probing incredulous.

BlueBelle

So can you clear it up now Sandraas I m well confused is it you that has a home overseas or one in Uk or is it your
partner ??
Gosh this gets more muddled as the posts go on

It is beginning to have a familiar ring to it as well, Bluebelle
🤔