Partner refuses to speak to my 8 year old grandson

your other half of just over a year?

he shouldn't be interacting with your grandchildren in any way... it is your partner, nothing to do with your family! enjoy your grandchildren on your own!

He’d be ex-partner by now if I was you.

Unfortunately, this man does not love you unconditionally, sandra13. You have told us that he has nothing to do with his own granddaughters because his daughter dotes on them. In other words she loves them and that is a fault in his eyes. You love your grandson, another fault. His reasons for ignoring your grandson are trivial. He didn't like his manners so he must be shunned? Really? Look further into his relationships with people. Apart from yourself, who is he close to? If the answer is no one, then you have to ask yourself why. But I think you already know the answer and the advice you have been given here backs it up. Good luck.

It sounds like your OH is a spoiled obnoxious brat who should toddle out of his playpen and start growing up!

A 78 year old behaving like a idiot. Wah-wah-woe-is-me type. It's understandable he's upset because he thinks your GS was rude to you but he's only 8, he's a kid who will eventually grow out of being ''rude''.

And OH doesn't get along with his own kids/grandkids either? Can you really imagine living the rest of your life with a self-entitled bully?

sandra13
OMG , What a selfish & rude man is my thoughts, he is a grown man for heavens sake .
The fact that he has little or no contact with his own Daughter should have rung warning bells here .
There is in my opinion only one course of action & only you can make that decision.
Do you want your own Grandson to remember you with love & affection & be the person that he enjoys visiting in the here and now . Or as the person who has a partner who dictates to her what she should be doing & when he can or cannot speak .
On the other hand being both a Grandmother & a Step Grandmother it is hard . My own daughter has in the past told me I favour my Sons children ( I don’t they just live closer ) but that’s a different matter.
One of my own Grand daughters would never look at me when she spoke to me or would answer only to my Daughter, that’s what “ rude is “
Is he living in a world of “ Children should be seen & not heard “!
Yes , Children so often want you to instantly answer to their requests and questions.
And they can be rude in interrupting adults , no matter how many times they are told . At 8 years old maybe your GS should know better . But he is your GS & I am sure you know best how to deal with him . But what are you supposed to be doing sitting him down & saying when * OH is talking don’t interact: interrupt!
No , that’s striking the fear 😧 god in him & tbh your OH should at least try interacting with your GS .
It sounds like he is an all out bully and has no concept of how to deal with children either .

BlueBelle

Pascal she is visiting the grandson in Uk atm and leaving the partner at their home overseas hence she will need to ring him

Hi Bluebelle, if that is the case, and that is your assumption, maybe she has kept a home here and could move back if she wishes to.. as she hasn't come back it's difficult to know what the circumstances are.. I think that she knows that she is being controlled though.. hence the question..

Yes, children can be hyper excited, bad mannered and just plain rude but they are children. Learning that standards of behaviour vary depending on who you are with or where you are is a life long process. Plenty reach adulthood without learning. Yes, there are basic manners that should apply at all times but some re slow to learn this, how many rude adults do you know? At seven children still have much to learn. Your partner sounds awful, fancy sulking and being so unforgiving of a child. He could have tried a simple shush or indicted a finger over his lips just something to demonstrate it was a time to be quiet, he could have made it fun. Instead he chose to disengage on a long term basis and to brand the child as bad mannered and rude. He sounds extremely unpleasant, compounded by the fact that he doesn't see his own daughters. That is a clear sign he's not much good at family relationships. Please think hard about your future, being on your own can be a blessing compared to living with a miserable, controlling partner.

Take the advice of all these very wise GNs. He will only become more controlling and drive a wedge between you and your family. As you’re in the UK now begin making plans to return permanently. You do not need this person in your life, believe me.
Please respond to the comments, so we know you are genuine.

it’s nothing to do with an interrupting grandson it’s all to do with CONTROL

Indeed, BlueBelle.

Please, sandra13 look after yourself here. - It's a one-year relationship and already he is making misery out of your joys.
This man is not loving and supportive of you - he is undermining you family relationships and controlling them.

All good partners, in my opinion, will support you in the things that make you happy, they'll try to do small kindnesses for you to make it easy for you to spend time with people you love.

Abusive relationships are different- they selfishly control you to make them No.1 in your life and try to make sure that, as No.1, there isn't even a number 2 let alone a number 3,4,5 etc.

You will soon be isolated if uou stay with this man.

As M0nica says, this man is still behaving as an entitled 8 year old. Do you really want to give the rest of your life exclusively to him? You may think you love him - and maybe he has some good qualities (or chemistry) that pulls you to him - but this isn't healthy. Feeling love for someone who is controlling is not unusual. They tell you they are "looking after" you - because you are being "abused/taken for granted" etc by your rude/uncaring family and friends. This is truly not love...
He wants to isolate you.

Don't let him.

www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/warning-signs-sexual-abuse-teens-young-adults

Pascal she is visiting the grandson in Uk atm and leaving the partner at their home overseas hence she will need to ring him

He sounds absolutely horrible, get out while you can.

How can your 8 year old grandson have a sleepover if you live abroad? and why are you alone?

I can’t understand why you moved away from your family to be with this controlling man in another country. He’s 78. He will only get worse, and maybe sick so you feel you can’t leave him. Get out while you still can.

You are in a controlling and abusive relationship! He is slowly dividing you from your family.

What happens if he dies before you? You are by then estranged from your family. Run while you can!

OldFrill

I wouldn't be ringing the self-centred git sorry husband, when grandson was there. I'd make sure the self-centred git sorry husband knows exactly where unreasonable behaviour and demands get him - silenced.

Whoaaaa can only agree wholeheartedly. 👍
This behaviour is pathetic to say the least and is awful for you. 💐

By the way it’s nothing to do with an interrupting grandson it’s all to do with CONTROL

Reading your original post through again I m really wondering if anyone can be as gullible as you to move abroad ‘for’ a man you have only been with a year, to not only leave all your family but be expected to stick to rigid rules of how to talk to them Sorry but if you’re for real you need to get the next plane home and send for your things or as it looks as if you are back home don’t go back Tell him he can pack up your things and send them on
What else will he dictate over what you wear, what you eat
He’s trying the old old game of dividing you from your family you don’t always see it when you’re in it but 99% on here can see it

I hope you are in a relationship, not a marriage; this man sounds to be very difficult to live with and as uncompromising as a seven year old.
That said, children who constantly interrupt phone and zoom calls are extremely irritating.

OK, he s 78 and when he was a child he never interupted, that was his choice. I am 80, two years older than him and when I was a child I was always interupting, so what.

What either of us did as children 70 years ago has absolutely no relevance to the relationship between you, him and your grandson today. Except it seems to me he hasn't grown up mentally in the 70 years since he was 8, hopefully your grandson will.

This is/will turn out to be an abusive relationship. get out of it while you can.

This is a new relationship and maybe you need to ask yourself if you really need this man in your life. He does not sound an asset. Break free and enjoy your relationships with your family. You are not obliged to blight your life with this dreadful man.

As you say OH rather than DH I presume you aren’t married. Just return to your family on a long visit and decide what you want to do, so many red flags

Move back to be closer to your family. It is a year long relationship and he appears to be controlling. You being in another country whilst this is going on makes you more vulnerable.

Run for the hills.

Advice. Get out now while you still can.

Run very fast.