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Do you find it annoying when people use a diminutive form of your name without asking?

(224 Posts)
25Avalon Thu 01-Feb-24 18:05:00

Some friends call me by my full first name and others a shortened version, such as Susan and Sue. I get annoyed when people I don’t know do this. I am secretary of a sports club and always sign myself with my full first name in a professional manner. Back the emails come nine times out of ten with the shortened version as if we are bosom chums which we aren’t. I sometimes I haven’t even met them.I think it’s rude and presumptuous. What do others think?

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 04-Feb-24 15:36:36

Each to their own.

dragonfly46 Sun 04-Feb-24 15:33:24

Germanshepherdsmum

Life’s too short.

A very flippant remark. If people shorten my name it becomes a completely different name. I find it very irritating and rude.

ExaltedWombat Sun 04-Feb-24 15:01:01

Yes, it can be irritating! You could pretend not to recognise it.

'Sue, would you pass the sugar?'
No reaction.
'Oh sorry, did you mean me? We had a cat called Sue, I was always Susan. One lump or two?'

therustyfairy Sun 04-Feb-24 14:53:39

I find it over-familiar and presumptious when a 'y' is attached to my name, it's like assuming it is okay to use my nickname that is given to me and only used by closest family and friends.

Was similarly shocked when this happened to the Queen, it's disrespectful and demeaning

dotwalker Sun 04-Feb-24 14:42:52

I get annoyed for the opposite reason. I always use the shortened form of my name in every form of correspondence as I hate the full version. When I meet a new person, I always use this this shortened form yet some people insist on using the full version as they think it's a nice name. Even when I correct them they still use it confused

Livey Sun 04-Feb-24 14:40:37

Totally agree

chrissie13 Sun 04-Feb-24 14:32:21

No, I prefer it.

Kim19 Sun 04-Feb-24 14:27:30

I don't sweat the small stuff.

MeowWow Sun 04-Feb-24 14:23:56

My name can’t be shortened but I have family who don’t pronounce my name right 😡

knspol Sun 04-Feb-24 14:21:32

Mine can't be shortened but I do always call people by the name they tell me and wouldn't dream of shortening someone else's name.

yellowcanary Sun 04-Feb-24 14:14:42

I hate being called Susie - thankfully only one person did that once, after I told him I didn't like it he went to using my proper name (how I was brave to tell him I don't know as it was my new boss who had taken over from someone else and I was only 17 at the time smile ). Also hate Suzanne as it is not my name. I know a couple of Ian's - which you wouldn't think could get shortened, but one gets called "E".

4allweknow Sun 04-Feb-24 14:12:35

My siblings were all referred to by their "long" name by the family. One brother was a professional footballer abd when I was in tge house alone a man came to the door saying he was looking for say, Bob. I had no idea who Bob was and told him no one by that name lived here. The man was only a scout for a very big football team and I'd denied my brother's existence. Shortening or changing names can cause problems! My brother was eventually signed up but I did get a rollicking for not knowing "Bob" was for "Robert". Wonder why I detest football!

OldFrill Sun 04-Feb-24 14:12:17

Mine has more letters but fewer syllables when shortened smile not sure it that's common or not

netflixfan Sun 04-Feb-24 14:11:47

My name can’t be shortened, but I don’t think I’d care anyway.

Junesun Sun 04-Feb-24 14:03:03

They don't shorten mine..its a short name already, they lengthen it but I like it as it's friendly .

lizzypopbottle Sun 04-Feb-24 13:08:35

My parents christened me Elizabeth and were adamant that my name would never be shortened. There are so many diminutives for it I've lost count. I don't mind Liz or Lizzie but I won't answer to Betty. Other variations include Bet, Beth, Lisbeth, Libby, Ellie and there's probably more. Small children always had trouble with Elizabeth so I got Bep-bep, Alushabush (shortened to Bush!) and Aluffafuff (shortened to Fuff). There were so many of us in my year at school (1952) that we all had a different form of Elizabeth to tell us apart.

I've gone by Liz since high school but my mother never called me anything but Elizabeth. My dad called me Liz the day and hour I turned eighteen! I was astonished! His theory was that I was now officially an adult and I could choose!

My late husband used to introduce me as Elizabeth, so people felt obliged to call me that. I kept having to say, call me Liz.... Elizabeth seems rather formal to me now.

cookiemonster66 Sun 04-Feb-24 13:08:03

I get annoyed when people call me marie instead of maria, so I usually end up saying "Ah" straight after, my name is mariA but then they continue to call me marie - grrr!

Frenchgalinspain Sun 04-Feb-24 13:04:40

Not thrilled at all ..

As I have a very beautiful French first name ..

Cambsnan Sun 04-Feb-24 13:02:55

I get annoyed when people use my first name without asking. If you are calling me in a professional capacity, ask me if that is okay!

grandtanteJE65 Sun 04-Feb-24 13:02:10

Theexwife

They probably think they are being friendly, it would not be done with malice.

I don't agree as far as letters or e-mails go.

In my experience people have just not taken the trouble to check what the person they were writing to was actually called, and how the name is spelled.

This is both slovenly and rude.

In conversation it might be meant as a friendly gesture, but is rude, as really they are implying that there is something about my name they do not like, if they use a diminutive or another form of it. I personally dislike being called Lisbeth instead of Elisabeth, but cannot get the person who does so to stop.

Summerstorm Sun 04-Feb-24 12:50:37

Slightly different name thing that irritates me. My name is Catherine and very few people still call me that. Cath, Cathy, Kate, Katie, Kitty. None of which I mind at all but not pronouncing the T in Kate or Katie really grates on me for some reason. In the same way as not pronouncing the T in water or butter for instance. I spent a lot of years as a child minder and tried really hard to teach the children about this. All back fired one day when I asked what they would like to drink “milk, juice, or water” and the reply was milk with a T in the middle

parky642 Sun 04-Feb-24 12:44:04

my DBil was fed up with people shortening his name so he called his sons by short one syllable names but now people lengthen them. You can't win!

granjan Sun 04-Feb-24 12:21:26

I should have said he was from Bristol.

rowyn Sun 04-Feb-24 12:21:14

If it was a very formal letter my heckles might just rise ( what exactly does that saying mean??)
But generally i would empathise with them, assuming that they're just trying to communicate in the shortest form possible as they have other things to do.

Summysoom Sun 04-Feb-24 12:21:09

We had neighbours for 30 years who became good friends but it’s only recently that they’ve spelled my very uncomplicated name correctly on greetings cards. I also dislike when someone lengthens my one syllable name.