What’s happened to Grandson

It has happened to my boy, too.

Sounds like the majority of teenagers 😂
My grandson is so laid back he’s almost horizontal.

Sounds like a teenager! He might fail, he might not but hopefully he will grow up and be a lovely human being! I’d say don’t judge, don’t lecture just provide cake! Good luck.

What’s his age 15/16/17?
Sounds like a fairly normal teenager my son never caused me a moments trouble but blimey the stories he’s told me since 🤣
One time I was talking to his first girlfriend I guess he was 15/16 I asked her how they met, she said at an all night party we sat on the wall outside and watched the milkman doing his rounds and I said but he never ever went to an all night party, he wasn’t allowed !! 🤣
Not easy but it’s a phase he ll grow up

We only recently learnt that DS often left home on the school bus but got off early and caught the next bus into the nearest city.
He's now a very responsible parent tearing his hair out because of his teenage son. I have no sympathy!

He’s 15 and will be 16 in June …

Sounds like a normal teenager.

Back in the late 50s/early60s my best friend (female) did much the same thing. At 20 she came to her senses and became solicitor and later, a judge. her pension is more than I ever earned.

That sounds almost word for word what my grandson is like, dolly.
He also lost weight, and now thinks he's wonderful.
Too wonderful to behave at school.

Saying that though, some of the things that he is given detention for sound like the stuff our teachers would have dealt with there and then, rather than handing out detentions. (Which grandson doesn't always attend!)

Has anyone asked your DGS if there are any problems he'd like to discuss, rather than just expecting him to be the same kid he was a while back?
He could be worried about something or other, and not know who to go to for help!
Try helping him instead of berating the poor lad!!

Par for the course I’m afraid. They know absolutely everything and any advice and reservations their parents (and grandparents) might give voice to go in one ear and out of the other. We had this with both ours and are now seeing it in our grandson. It’s one of those irritating rites of passage that mark the run up to adulthood!

sounds pretty average to me.
you can't live his life for him.
he's old enough to understand cause and effect, and will have to sort out the consequences for himself eventually.
most people muddle through, or strike out in their own way when they need to.
doesn't sound as if he's gone off the rails.

Definitely a change in him. He’s growing up.

I agree he just sounds like a teenager.

What I did with one of mine[she was coasting rather than getting into anything], was, I wrote out two pieces of paper. One with the grades I thought she would get if she applied herself properly. And one with the grades I thought she would get if she carried on the way that she was going.

Told her to go out the room.
Pretended it was the results day in August.
Got her to open the piece of paper with the marks she was likely to get carrying on as she was.

Then sent her back out of the room and in again, results day again, with the piece of paper with the grades we both knew she was capable of.

It did the trick.

Hope this helps you op, or someone.

When they get to teenagers, they sometimes cannot see past next week, let alone 6 months time.

My grandson was like this and it looks like the next one is going to follow shortly.

I see it them starting to know who they are and what they want out of life but doing it in very brash, sometimes self sabotaging ways, riding roughshod over anyone who gives them what they see as ridiculous 'rules' in order to assert themselves.

Teenagers brains aren't fully developed of course but they do change into responsible adults and after a few mistakes. They do grow up.

Beforehand they will shrug off what we think they should be and become independent thinkers who find their own identity, like it or not. Painful to watch though.

Twin grandsons hated the last two years of school. Dd used to phone me in tears ‘they won’t get up/go to school etc. ‘. I had to go round and talk to them and eventually off they went. Poor Dd suffering with cancer and also getting little DGD to school.
It was hard. They are now finding their way in the world , one has a full time job and the other into research . They still have their moments but on the whole they are lovely responsible nearly 18 yr olds.
I’m sure your gs will pull through and find his feet.

Oh yes, I remember my DS going through those teenage years very well! He never gave us any major trouble to worry about, but he did become argumentative, lazy, not doing homework, etc. I often felt I had to tread very carefully around him, so as not to set him off! Their hormones are running rampant at that age! DH, on the other hand, often wouldn't stand for it, cue slamming doors, storming out of house, etc.

Fast forward a few years, and he eventually kicked himself into gear and was offered a place at university, where he met our lovely DiL. He's now a responsible daddy of two, with a career in teaching. Have faith, it has to get worse before it gets better again!

It’s the norm for teenage boys. If he needs extra help to get into college then get him a tutor.

My son was just like this in 6th form. He had changed dramatically a couple of years later. now has a management job and 3 children, the eldest now behaving in a similar way.
He is more sensible than me at times!

My boy doesnt need a tutor.
He needs a "kick up the backsider".
Getting him out of bed is almost impossible, and almost always involves lots of shouting (me) and swearing (me).

It's so wearing.

Sorry you are struggling MissA and DollyD Take heart from the story of my grandson who was a horrible teenager with all the traits you have mentioned. Also treated his mother badly. He is now in his thirties, holding down a good job and happily married. They do change so hang in there and do what you can. Good luck.

Why not take him out for a fabulous lunch - just you and him, his choice of venue - and let him talk, without judgement? Don’t nag him or offer advice, just listen.

Thanks for all your replies.
I’m relieved the general consensus is that it’s just normal teenage behaviour.
He IS a lovely boy though and we all love him to bits.

Hold onto that thought. 🙂