Huge dilemma - help please.

I'd phone DB1 and politely thank him but say you were surprised to discover that the amount on the cards was greater than £50.00 in total. I would not mention DB2 as that will most definitely sound like a barbed comment. Although I realise that this is your intention and I can't say I blame you for feeling that way!

kittylester

MissAdventure

I'd tell them both.
Why wouldn't you?

If it's meant for someone else then give it to them.

We've spent one of the £75 ones and some of the other one.

But you could reimburse them though?

I would definitely own up to the giver of the gifts , because I couldn’t enjoy my purchases without feeling guilty.

Yes we could, of course! It's not about the money for either of us, really. A box of chocolates would have been fine.

I am a bit upset about the inequity of the presents but don't really want to create waves - though, conversely, I'd like them to know that I know.

My sister and I agreed many years ago to stop buying each other presents. Saves loads of hassle.

Just as a matter of interest, what do you give to each of your brothers? Do you spend the same on both of them?

Just curious.

More or less. This year we bought one drinking chocolate and the extras - about £25 and the other a game and biscuits - about the same.

Similarly, DH's brothers.

The brother who should have been the recipient of the £75 vouchers always gives us Fortnum and Mason chocolates but I have no idea what he gives our brother.

Other brother gets a F&M hamper?

I think I'd do what dogsmother said tbh. He's hardly going to say oh they were meant for other brother

Haha, jane.

Actually, he might! That's why I want him to know but don't actually want to cause ructions.

My mother did enough of that between me and my brothers.

Blinking families!!

The way dogsmother phrased it was best . Informing him in a nice way . We don't exchange presents at Xmas but just have a £50 secret santa along the adults . Otherwise we just buy for the children makes things easier !

I wouldn’t say anything and spend the rest of it. Your brother made the mistake, and you did well out of it. Especially since he prefers his other brother to you.

Well, I'll probably sound nit picky, probably because I am, but well... I assume you have the money to give back what was spent? (If you wanted to)

What’s DBI??

I’d absolutely not involve DB2. What can’t you just blame John Lewis? Say thanks to DB 1, tell him what you bought and say I think JL have slipped up because they seem to think there’s more on the card!

Nansypansy

What’s DBI??

Dear / Darling Brother 1

I’d call the brother and tell him you bought something at JL and discovered the amount on the receipts didn’t match the value of the cards. I’d say you wanted to let him know in case there’s been a mix up: if there has, what would he like you to do? and if not you want to thank him for his very generous gift this year.

Do nothing. Just say thanks again if the subject comes up. If the other folk are like me, then they might forget about the card anyway and be miffed in a years time they forgot to use it! Tricky, but that's what happens when you're sneaky and treat people differently 🤷

It could be that Jl has made the mistake say nothing.

kitty I’m perhaps being a bit thick here but how do you know the vouchers weren’t intended for you? It could just as easily have been John Lewis’ mistake.
I’d say nothing except to thank DB1 for his generosity & see what he says. If you were the intended recipients he might be hurt if you said something to the effect that you’d assumed that you weren’t.

Could you not mention it to brother who sent the gift cards and offer to return the card you have left? He may well say it doesn’t matter, but your conscience will be salved.

I’d say nothing. It’s almost bound to get complicated, and if your DB1 doesn’t feel embarrassed giving you less valuable gifts than he gives to DB2, I doubt anything is going to make him feel uncomfortable with his present-giving. Maybe DB2 is very short of money!

I agree with Janeainsworth just thank him for his generous gift. What did you buy?

grannyactivist

I’d call the brother and tell him you bought something at JL and discovered the amount on the receipts didn’t match the value of the cards. I’d say you wanted to let him know in case there’s been a mix up: if there has, what would he like you to do? and if not you want to thank him for his very generous gift this year.

This definitely, why would you keep quiet? someone made a mistake the money is not for you give it back and see what happens, If they get embarrassed so what. You could use the time to suggest you stop giving present as it is a farce anyway. Particularly as it sounds like you are not overly fond of them anyway. Personally I would have told JL that you only expected the £50 as you were told and asked her to revert the sale, I would not have spent vouchers which were not intended for me.

I'm in NZ staying with DS and family. Yesterday the other DGM in the UK, phoned her DD saying she hadn't been thanked for the Christmas present she sent. What was it? asked DDiL.
She usually puts money into their account but had forgotten this time.

DGS has sent her a postcard.

win

I may have misunderstood, but I took it to mean that the OP bought goods to a higher value than showing on the card, expecting to pay the difference, and it was only when JL pointed out there was still cash left on the card that she realised that the amounts were wrong.

Seeing as the attached card said £25 then I would tell the BIl that gave it to you and explain, that you've already spent some of it. The ball is in his court then.

Could be a "hairy" family quarrel ahead.

I would contact the brother, who was kind enough to give you and your husband a gift voucher of 25 pounds each (50 pounds in total).

And Thank him for the gift.

I also have to say, I like honesty and I would state that you had gone over the budget a bit .. And send him the money or hand it to him if he lives close by.

I would not cause a war !! There are enough wars worldwide.

Best wishes.