Birthday Cards , Calls & Blues

harrigran
Maybe you could buy in bulk for a few birthday/occasions a few shops do offers of x amount of cards for a lower price & cover all manner of occasions.

For Mother's Day one of mine bought a card (aptly messaged), another sent a heartfelt message, I got cards from 2 of my step-children which were lovely but from my own daughter, nada, nothing! I don't mind a message but I do like a bit of thought put into the message.

icanhandthemback
I hear you ,I on the other hand don’t expect anything for MD itself due to the close proximity of my bd . I like to also give thanks to my own DD’s who are obviously mothers themselves

I have written four cards today; two wedding anniversaries and two birthdays, all family, between now and the end of the month. This is fairly typical through the year There are a sprinkling of DW's friends who also get written cards, and I exchange birthday texts with my closest cousin. Christmas still involves about sixty cards, and to the extent that the number is declining, it is largely because of the Grim Reaper.

Social norms have changed. Nothing seems to be the same anymore.

The price of cards 😳 , not to mention postage (!) is too much for some young people to keep up with everyone’s events; Christmas cards (which I love) seem to be drying up on the vine.

But it’s also expectations of people - thinking their children, relatives, closest friends will shower you with mailbox greetings. A few maybe yes. The rest will take the easy way out.

Be grateful you receive messages or texts on your day. Enjoy a meal out with your kids on a different day! Some mothers don’t get much of anything. Younger generations seem to be living in their own world these days. It’s a just the way it is now.

I’m sorry you’re sad. You’re not a failure in motherhood. Think of the blessings you have.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202403/medium-106940-image.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202403/medium-86864-image.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202403/medium-181289-image.jpg

I was a very happy granny to get a short video on WhatsApp from D2, SIL and GS, a FaceTime from D3 and the little boys, a phone call from 13 year old GS singing “Happy Birthday dear Granny” , a phone cal cat with GS2 and GD and to meet up with D1 yesterday on my birthday.
- all worth much more than cards (although I was happy to get those too)
PS
I always buy cards which I like when I see them in the supermarket so that I have a “stash” when birthdays come up.
I particularly like “Matt” cards, Rosie Did a Thing and any Art cards suitable for both sexes.
Here are three (other cards are available) which I got from Waitrose recently.

Don’t know where the “cat” came from! - sorry!

I get sung Happy Birthday videos from DGC in addition to cards. So far my sung replies have not deterred them; they'd certainly put me off!

I only do e-cards I subscribe to two years of Jacqui Lawson at the time and send hundreds of cards each year for every possible ocassion. I can count on one hand the cards I post due to no wi-fi only. Likewise I only receive a few cards for my BD and Christmas but receive loads of e-cards, emails, text & messages and hampers from my generous son and family for all occasions.

Hi. At least you do have family, albeit seemingly inconsiderate relatives, however, it seems a case of out of sight, out of mind, nowadays. My last Birthday I received no social media greetings, no text messages, no phone calls and only one card from DH. I have 3 DD's, 4 GC 2 siblings and various cousins. In the year leading up to my Birthday I sent Birthday, Anniversary, Easter and Christmas cards, most with newsy, handwritten letters included. I also contacted people in-between times by text and WhatsApp and by phone. This year I have decided that as I am always the one to make contact I will no longer be doing so unless I hear from anyone. Sad, I know, but I realise now that all the running has been on my side and I'm not going to play that game anymore.
My will has been written and charity will benefit, not family or so-called friends. I have opted for cremation only and instructed the solicitor not to contact anyone on my demise. If they can't be bothered with me while I am alive, then why would they want to know when I am dead.

I get 3 cards on my birthday each year. One from my son (only child), one from the cat and one from my cousin but I am very fortunate to have those people (and cat!) in my life.

Anyway, many happy returns to all my fellow Pisceans on this thread.

I normally get quite a few cards on my birthday which will be next week. For Mother’s Day I received four cards, one from each of my adult children and one from my grandson. My daughter lives in New Zealand and still managed to send a card and a lovely bouquet of flowers, using Funky Pigeon. I don’t accept the argument that adult children are too busy, or that they just don’t do cards anymore. If they can’t even be bothered to pick up the phone on Mother’s Day or their mother’s birthday, then I’m afraid they are selfish.

Does the cat do her own shopping flappergirl ?
That’s very sad Sarahr

I hate the idea of e cards I d rather have nothing, to me it’ feels so impersonal, I realise you’re a fan Win but they re not for me luckily no one in my family or friends send them I love the old fashioned way and I ve got 18 on my shelf from my recent birthday and they ll sit looking at me for a while, they make me smile

Every six years or so , my daughter’s birthday is on Mother’s Day ( it was this year) . And as she was going out for double celebration with her kids and partner , she came to see me on the Saturday before with gift and chocs, stayed 2 hours , had a nice catch-up , then left. I dont ’get on’ with her partner so she knows not to include me in her day. I do though get on famously with my ( still) son-in-law!
So my daughter knew that he would be over to see me as well as my son, on the actual day .
I don’t really give a pigs ear about Mother's Day ( another American import) but am of course , happy to see them if they turn up .
My daughter informed me years ago that cards were no longer something she was going to send ( any celebration) as she said it was one tradition she would never live up to, and was best I knew it , so as NOT to be upset by the lack of. My son always sends one. They are different ….i don’t honestly mind about cards or calls on my ‘special’ days. I know that both were there for me when I really needed them a few years ago ( and since) , and always will be. That’s more important to me than a scrap of card, and an iver expensive stamp!!

I think it’s rude not to send a card to close relatives !
People are lazy these days - my DP is only asked to do things for his DS’s when it suits them - my side are very close and do things to help each other and our aging Parents; including celebrating Birthdays and sending cards, etc.

I still get cards. Usually get Whats App messages too

Saggi
Mother’s Day is not an American import.
The history is as follows; years ago when many young people worked in service, they rarely had a day off. They were given a Sunday off a couple of weeks before Easter and went home to their Mother Church and to visit their mothers too. They normally took the gift of a Simnel cake with them and gave it to their mother, to be eaten at Easter. So the giving of gifts and sharing of food is traditional on Mothering Sunday, now usually called Mother’s Day.

NannaFirework

I think it’s rude not to send a card to close relatives !
People are lazy these days - my DP is only asked to do things for his DS’s when it suits them - my side are very close and do things to help each other and our aging Parents; including celebrating Birthdays and sending cards, etc.

Or maybe they care for the planet! My daughter stopped giving them because anything with any metallic on them cannot be recycled, she didn't like the miles the card would have to travel, mainly in a diesel vehicle or, worse, in a plane so she stopped sending them before it was a trend not to. Cards are a relatively recent invention in the scheme of things and like quite a lot of customs will go out of fashion. I wonder why as a society, we consider a card to be indicative of our worth to others.
As for helping one another out, young people and families today have a lot of additional pressure just trying to make a living. Their children are often in childcare whilst they work long hours and if they are out helping others, when do they get time with their children?

I have discovered recently that young people hate speaking on the phone which surprised me as they seem to be permanently attached to their phones! However, when I think about it they never actually phone their friends, all communication is done by text and other forms of messaging. My granddaughter has to psyche herself up to make a phone call to arrange appointments etc, she really hates doing it.

Cressy!

Thanks for the Whistlefish tip, just ordered my 10, with an extra 20% off for new customer. That will save me hours of traipsing round looking for nice cards!

NannaFirework

I think it’s rude not to send a card to close relatives !
People are lazy these days - my DP is only asked to do things for his DS’s when it suits them - my side are very close and do things to help each other and our aging Parents; including celebrating Birthdays and sending cards, etc.

Different families different ways. As a family we are very hit and mss about cards, but this week I have been involved the annual gathering of my generation of my father's family. 18 first cousins, of whom 14 are still with us

Also our 2AC and DGD have informed us that they will come to France at Easter when we go, to help us pack up and dispose of all the contents of our holiday home, which has just been sold.

It requires heavy furniture moving and dismantling, which would have been a struggle for us, and we both really appreciate thair kindness and thoughtfulness, to give up a week of their annual leave of their own volition, to help us.

With AC like that, who needs cards?