Where to be interred ? Burial Decisions

If there’s only room for one burial and you want yours there, isn’t that a bit of a moot point? Or have I misunderstood, if so, apologies.
If it’s ownership of the ‘full’ plot, what does that entail? Thanks.

When did you last ask about space?
My parents were cremated and ashes buried as there was apparently "only room for one more" - years later I was discussing this at the cemetery and they said space also depends on length of time between burials!

Jaxjacky

If there’s only room for one burial and you want yours there, isn’t that a bit of a moot point? Or have I misunderstood, if so, apologies.
If it’s ownership of the ‘full’ plot, what does that entail? Thanks.

It means owning the plot …..just as it says on the tin .
But if you own a plot you have to leave it in a living will otherwise no one else can be buried there .
Which , as you so succinctly wrote it’s a “ moot point”

But .. of course , if another family member were to pass & wanted to be interred there before my own demise ,what do I do say “ No ,it’s my spot “ !!

You need to find a cemetery with space you can have a single or a double plot if you are a couple. You can also apply for permission for a burial in other places but probably not your back garden.

Many choose a “green burial” in a wicker casket with no memorial and whatever formalities you want, or none.

I think I’m right in saying that you can put burial/funeral instructions in your Will but your executors do not HAVE to carry out your wishes. I guess most do though.

NotSpaghetti

When did you last ask about space?
My parents were cremated and ashes buried as there was apparently "only room for one more" - years later I was discussing this at the cemetery and they said space also depends on length of time between burials!

NotSpaghetti
It was a while back ,ie a few years , certainly well after both my GF & Mum’s ashes were placed there in 1981 , it was perhaps 6/8 years ago .
Oh I see what you are referring to though in the “ space & time”
But I will ask the question .

Primrose53

I think I’m right in saying that you can put burial/funeral instructions in your Will but your executors do not HAVE to carry out your wishes. I guess most do though.

Oh, another interesting point ,I did not know this . It’s definitely a hard one . I suppose the best thing to do is have “that conversation “ with your nearest & dearest.
Which is what started me on this thread as my DH suggested I speak to my DC about where as he was concerned that the London Cemetery would not be a place they would visit often 🙄
Fact being all three DC live in different counties outside of the capital .

If you want to be buried there and there’s only space for one actual burial - don’t agree to anyone else (or their ashes) being buried there before you. It seems that there is no space for further burials after your own so I’m not sure what the problem is.

www.co-oplegalservices.co.uk/media-centre/articles-sept-dec-2016/make-your-funeral-wishes-known-when-you-make-a-will/#

When we were drafting our Wills a Solicitor told me this.

My husband wanted burial. We knew his life was limited. There’s a beautiful, peaceful woodland burial site near our home. We chose his spot, I’ll join him there. My will says simply.,I want to be buried with my husband. Our adult children know this

Katie59

You need to find a cemetery with space you can have a single or a double plot if you are a couple. You can also apply for permission for a burial in other places but probably not your back garden.

Many choose a “green burial” in a wicker casket with no memorial and whatever formalities you want, or none.

Yes , I have. Family plot already it has space . I have no plans to buy another plot .

Hope no one beats you to it Nanatuesday 🙃
You only get a matter of years for a bought plot it’s not yours for ever some cemeteries it’s 25 years some more, some less
( I think)

Germanshepherdsmum

If you want to be buried there and there’s only space for one actual burial - don’t agree to anyone else (or their ashes) being buried there before you. It seems that there is no space for further burials after your own so I’m not sure what the problem is.

Well that’s just it isn’t it !
In a nutshell I will be dictating to my siblings & possibly any other maternal relation .
Do you suggest , I draft a letter telling them my wishes ? As it don’t go down to well when I mentioned that I needed to leave it to someone in a living will & that it would be my eldest DD , at that time !

“ didn’t “
Not “ don’t “ !

If you own the plot you get to say that nobody else is buried there but you. What’s the problem?

Perhaps they don’t all want to be buried Have you talked to them about it If you rectaking the last place they ll have to buy another one if they all choose burial
Look first come first served, otherwise it ll get a bit crowded down there

BlueBelle

Hope no one beats you to it Nanatuesday 🙃
You only get a matter of years for a bought plot it’s not yours for ever some cemeteries it’s 25 years some more, some less
( I think)

Not sure why you are saying this as my GGF bought the plot in 1952 & it was passed to me by my GM in 1981 as far as I am concerned it is still our Family Plot . I will ask in the cemetery office next time I am there though .
Last time I visited the office it was so interesting as I was able to look at the original entry of when my GGF purchased the plot .

Our double family plot shows on the bill of purchase that my GF was buried in 1928. GM followed in 1985. DF and DM died in 2008 with their ashes placed in the other half of plot. Still some space left for me and OH! I've never heard any word of a 25 year limit.

livelylady

Our double family plot shows on the bill of purchase that my GF was buried in 1928. GM followed in 1985. DF and DM died in 2008 with their ashes placed in the other half of plot. Still some space left for me and OH! I've never heard any word of a 25 year limit.

Livelylady, I have never heard of that either & our plot is an extremely well kept one .

I believe I still own ours! I haven't heard of the 25 year thing either.

If this is your wish then , it must be respected and observed .
Don't be intimidated and bullied by a "verbal riot ."
Make your funeral plans and have them in place .
Meanwhile :
enjoy life !

I believe that when you buy a burial plot you usually buy a lease of it for a given period rather than the freehold. Rent is not normally charged. Are you certain you own the freehold of the plot? If it’s a lease that you own, how long does it have to run?

Germanshepherdsmum

If you own the plot you get to say that nobody else is buried there but you. What’s the problem?

Forgive the pun GSM but therein lies the problem , I think 🤔

By saying this it will be me “ dictating “ to my siblings , many of whom will have issue with this very loudly .
I think it will resolve it self actually , thinking about it , the natural order of things will be whoever needs the space first . So on a first come basis , I think I will pass that on to every one . Which I am again sure will raise comments .
My own issue was , do I want to be in a place that my DC etc will not easily have access to but that in itself isn’t really an issue as where ever I lay my hat , they will always be in different counties .
Only difference is they all know this London Cemetery & it holds fond memories of our trips,picnics (;yes in the cemetery ❤️)
So , you asked earlier “ what’s the problem “ It was a quandary of epic proportions for me as I have siblings who will argue the toss whatever I say . If you know that some of them have issue with most things especially if I am involved.

NanaTuesday

Jaxjacky

If there’s only room for one burial and you want yours there, isn’t that a bit of a moot point? Or have I misunderstood, if so, apologies.
If it’s ownership of the ‘full’ plot, what does that entail? Thanks.

It means owning the plot …..just as it says on the tin .
But if you own a plot you have to leave it in a living will otherwise no one else can be buried there .
Which , as you so succinctly wrote it’s a “ moot point”

But .. of course , if another family member were to pass & wanted to be interred there before my own demise ,what do I do say “ No ,it’s my spot “ !!

if another family member were to pass & wanted to be interred there before my own demise ,what do I do say No ,it’s my spot

If you want to be buried or have your ashes buried there, then Yes, that answer would seem to be a good idea.

Apparently there's a space for one more coffin burial where my parents are both buried. My youngest brother has "bagged it" for himself. This is fine by the rest (four) of us because none of the rest of give a toss what happens to any of our remains.