How would you deal with this?

If you are asked to do something and you don't want to just say sorry, I can't and leave it at that.

I think someone asking you to run them to the station when they ring for a taxi is being selfish. You are not a taxi service and you would have had to come back home again after dropping them off, whereas a taxi would get another pickup.

They were just trying to save money at your time and expense.

Sorry:

www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DL0MK7qz13bU&ved=2ahUKEwirmsXCpquHAxXSQkEAHVuHB2AQwqsBegQISRAE&usg=AOvVaw2GU7qIKyHsYPwWqChJfNiu

Best to stop fretting and
Frozen "Let It Go" Sequence Performed by Idina MenzelYouTube · Walt Disney Animation Studios6 Dec 2013

Callistemon213

^I messaged her on WhatsApp on 6th July saying that I felt awful. I also said when I went away I left my car near the bus station for the duration I was away, couldn’t they do that, as they have 2 cars at the moment. No reply. Today 14th July I was out in the garden when she said Hi, I asked if I had offended her as she didn’t reply to my message. ^

Thst was a mistake.

Just a cheery "Did you have a good holiday?" would have been better.

Never mind now, at least she won't ask you again.

That's because they didn't leave until yesterday morning, so hadn't gone.

So why didn't she reply to my message that I sent 8 days earlier, she does text (because we have in the past) She told me she had seen it.
Which then made me think that I had offended her, that's why I asked.

I messaged her on WhatsApp on 6th July saying that I felt awful. I also said when I went away I left my car near the bus station for the duration I was away, couldn’t they do that, as they have 2 cars at the moment. No reply. Today 14th July I was out in the garden when she said Hi, I asked if I had offended her as she didn’t reply to my message.

Thst was a mistake.

Just a cheery "Did you have a good holiday?" would have been better.

Never mind now, at least she won't ask you again.

Maybe would have been better not to raise the topic again. You did kind of force her into talking about it. When she was ready she'd have started talking to you again.

You are just overthinking this and must stop.
You were right in saying it was too early. She appears not to have taken umbrage and if she had done it would have been unjust.
Please be kind to yourself.

You dealt with it perfectly and honestly. There are no bad feelings from your neighbor. Get over it. Forget about it. You are fine and so is your neighbor. You didn't lie. You weren't late. She didn't throw a fit. No one is swearing at each other. Forget about it now and get on with other things. All is well. Stop feeling guilty. Everyone must learn to say no (myself included)

Stop feeling guilty. Not your problem.Sometimes we have to think of ourselves. We can't please people all of the time and you'll find they wouldn't do the same for you.

I wouldn't dream of asking someone for a lift at 7am. Not even family, I would automatically book a taxi.

I’ve found a way of dealing with requests like these OP (it’s taken me decades though).
I offer “something” - albeit not exactly what they have asked me for.
So I am not saying “no” to their request, but they probably won’t like what I am actually offering.
E.g. asking me can I drive 200 miles round trip at 9 in the morning with them. My reply is that I am committed until 3 p.m. and could do it then?
Can I help them at 11 a.m. for a few hours - I could come at 12.
Can I help someone today? - no but I could do it on Friday…
What I offer doesn't meet their needs, but I have at least offered them something and they aren’t offended.

When the neighbour says she has found someone to help, you could rehearse a reply something like “oh good, I’m glad you got it sorted / my arthritis is painful in the mornings these days, it’s frustrating that I can’t mobilise before xxx”.

I agree 100% with what BigMamma said.

People will take advantage if you allow them. Once you do a favour they will guilt you into doing another one, and then another. Then it becomes a matter of "Ive asked everyone else and ..."

Meanwhile if you want to go somewhere there are things called taxis and they work at all hours including 6am.

6 years ago a very young couple bought house next door .A few days in they knocked on my door , naturally I invited them in . I realised with hindsite they were sussing me out . He was a young squaddie, often away . They seemed pleasant enough . I would put their bin inside the back gate each week as both working . When he came home on leave the parties started often 18 hrs of hell . They had to be reported to environmental health by myself and another attached neighbour . In the beginning I was helpful and neighbourly until the abusive behaviour started. The first husband moved out after 3 yrs and another moved in . Life is quieter but i won't take in parcels or bins again .

Who on earth asks a neighbour to give them a lift at 7am in the morning? I wouldn't dream of asking such a favour unless it was the utmost emergency. This was for a holiday so presumably the neighbour has had plenty of time to make sensible arrangements. Why couldn't she book a taxi like anyone normal? The OP clearly doesn't owe this woman a big favour, otherwise she'd have said so in her post.

I would give her a lift . 7am is not that early , especially in the summer months . To me 5am is early and I’d say sorry no .
I live in a small road and my neighbours are very friendly and helpful . Which makes a lovely comunity .
Your neighbours passive aggressive comment was uncalled for . And don’t give it headspace .

I'm just putting myself in the position of someone who needed to be at a particular location in order to start a holiday - but couldn't get public transport to it, or drive to it.

I'd immediately decide to book a taxi - isn't that what most would do?

I cannot imagine asking a neighbour to get up at the crack of dawn to drive me to it! Or even if it wasn't the crack of dawn...

It's the sort of favour you might do for someone if the matter came up in the course of conversation and you wanted to do them this favour, but other than that, I think it was actually wrong of them to ask you.

*weight!!!!

I realise now just how lucky we are with neighbours. We live at the end of a cul de sac & we are the oldest ones who have been here 25 years. Next door we have a 40 year old couple (10 years here), and opposite us a middle aged couple with 2 teen girls (19 years here. We all help each other in so many ways and nobody has ever taken advantage. We have a great little animal holiday sitting service which is worth it's wait in gold. None of us have any plans to move!

I was asked by a neighbour if I’d drive them to the airport. I said no as I’m nervous about driving. There was no rancour on their part.
Your neighbour is the churlish one, not you!
Try to put it out of your mind ( easier said than done , I know!)

You are not in the wrong. I think it’s best to be independent as much as I can and I would certainly book a taxi if I needed to get somewhere. I am sure your next door neighbour has not lost any sleep over the situation. We live in a changed - more selfish society.

I think I' d be please with myself for having made my boundaries respected. Taxi service is the obvious answer for most. I would settle down with a good book / tv programme to take my mind off it, and carry on as normal.When offering to help I often ask myself " Would they do the same for me?" If it' s a clear " no", I have my answer.

I think you are putting your feelings of guilt onto her

It's ok to say no!

But you messaged to say that you felt awful

Then you asked and she replied

It's a bit of a self made situation

Next time, don't say you can't do something because it requires getting up a bit earlier, it's not the best message to send someone asking for a favour, just say "I am sorry, I can't do that day" and leave it there

i think you are reading too much into the events. Life has moved on and so has she

You haven't done anything wrong Relax

Hi Atherinecca
I wrote a message to you but alas it didn't post.
I'll try again!
Just wanted to say you mustn't feel bad, you haven't done anything wrong.
Hold your head high and carry on as normal.
Good luck.

It was puerile and silly of her to say 'He's as good as gold', because that means she will now not eb able to ask you for anything else. If she saw the message, she has the social site it is on, and she could have called / sent msg by Facebook. It's like she thinks she has a divine right to have your services. She does not. So just limit yourself to a 'good fences make good neighbours' stuff.