Hipsy
Sparklygran has been a forum member for many years
Yep.
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Appalling behaviour at a contact centre
(37 Posts)What a terrible situation. A few years ago I worked with the Social workers and to be truthful, the social workers looked as though they needed a social worker for themselves. They were overworked, stressed out, always ill, it was a horrible situation they were in.
There are not enough social workers in this day and age, it was bad enough a few years ago but now it is almost impossible for them to do their jobs properly.
Sparklygran has been a forum member for many years
'However, the last contact we had a few days ago was so appalling that we are wondering whether myself, my husband and our daughter.'
That's her kid, of course she needs to carry on, she can't just opt out because he's a handful.
He's got ADHD and Autism, he's n a new place, change of routine, bright lights, noise, new smells and people withholding withholding him, being touched and lots of other factors that make children with Autism have a meltdown and can trigger them to be violent. He also seems to be delayed in school.
It might be worth your daughter educating herself and finding out the best ways to calm and help her son when he's in these states of utter hell, he's 10 years old and clearly isn't getting the right support from anyone at all.
This sounds very upsetting for all involved, sparklygran. Although your daughter and you want to retain contact, I wonder who is benefiting from these contact visits? I suspect you all leave feeling worse but if you don't go, what options have you? Maybe others have suggestions but it sounds like the children have been failed by the system.
For those who find this unbelievable, sparklygran has posted previously on Gransnet about her family problems so I'm pretty sure this is true
New name and school’s out.
However, if true, it sounds like the children are not getting the help and support they need, quite apart from OP's concern about her duaghter.
What is an SG, and an SGO, please?
What measures have been taken by the school to stop a ten year old from walking the streets in school time, and why is the security so lax that this can happen? Presumably if he can gt out then an intruder can get in?
Has the older boy turned into a nightmare since his diagnosis? What was he like before that led to the investigations?
Me too. If this is true they were removed for a reason. Fairly obvious issues. Sounds harsh but if this is not genuine you need to take a good, hard look at yourself.
I find this hard to believe, sorry.
This sounds very concerning.
If you are in the UK I suggest you contact www.childrenslegalcentre.com. They are part of the Coram group of children's charities and I have known them to be very helpful and supportive.
However, some of your terminology leads me to think that you may be elsewhere in the world - if so, say so on this thread and someone may be along who can offer advice.
Hello all, I could really do with some advice. I just don't know what to do.
My daughter's three children were taken from her 8 years ago and handed over on SGOs to the families of the two abusive men she had them with. My daughter is disabled and I feel that social services were simply unwilling to support her to parent her own children, and they seemed in a hurry to get them onto SGOs as fast as possible. No proper assessments were done and the SW was even critised by the Judge for not doing her job properly, but the Judge still gave her everything she wanted. The children were split up and two of them went to live with the sister of her abusive bully of an ex. The Judge awarded my daughter contact rights with the two boys in a contact centre. We had to fight the SG to establish this since she objected and refused to comply and it has cost us a huge amount of money.
We have been attending contact with my daughter to support her and trying to make sessions as positive and happy for the boys as possible. However, the last contact we had a few days ago was so appalling that we are wondering whether myself, my husband and our daughter can really carry on.
The older boy, now 10 has been diagnosed with ADHD and Austism and has turned into a nightmare. His brother, now 8 seems to be afraid of him. The whole contact session turned into a zoo with the three of us trying to keep control. The older boy repeatedly tried to flood the kitchen by turning on the taps on the sink full on and soaking the floor, then fighting me off when I tried to stop him. I suffer with osteoporosis and osteo arthritis and any fall will result in broken bones. I had to be really careful as the floor was awash. My daughter has spinal damage and she also has to be careful as any falls could be catastrophic. The the older boy started displaying really concerning behaviour by repeatedly pulling the younger boy's pants down despite being told that it was absolutely not appropriate. Then the older boy started attacking the younger boy whilst he was trying to play a nice board game with my husband. My husband ended up trying to separate them when they started fighting. The older boy took a toy and started hitting me with it. At 10 he is almost as big and strong as I am.
The children appear to have no boundaries. I don't know whether the carer has told them they can behave exactly as they like during contact or whether they behave like that at home. My daughter gets copies of the boys' school reports and the older boy is still unable to read at the age of 10 and frequently wanders out of class which is really worrying as next year he will be at senior school.
If we simply stop going to contact then my daughter will lose all contact with the children and so will we. We don't have separate visitation rights. She has already lost contact with her eldest child, our granddaughter, after the other SG stopped all contact and we could not afford to pursue it through court. However we are not getting any younger and my daughter's pain is getting worse and we could not cope with many more sessions like that.
What is the best way forward, does anyone think? We don't have any contact with the SG of the boys as she refuses to speak to my daughter and treats her like dirt.
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