Do you find it difficult to ‘treat’ yourself?

Why do so many of you find it hard to spend money on yourself, even decent clothes?

I have no one but myself to treat and I never feel in the least guilty about it. Im sure most men dont experience guilt about nights out with the lads or an expensive hobby so why should I?

M0nica

Why do so many of you find it hard to spend money on yourself, even decent clothes?

Well perhaps because we had children and things were tight.
What does 'decent' clothes mean? You can get 'decent' clothes which are not high end brand. Same for shoes or handbags.

I could not spend £800 for a pair of shoes, or for a handbag, for instance. But I could for a piece of art or craft.

Yes I do treat myself, not in a big way I haven’t loads of money left over when I’ve paid the bills but I too bought cherries just for me and some fresh broad beans , nobody else in the family likes them.

Other treats recently were some perfume and a new lipstick at the airport when we went on holiday but also bought new lipgloss for my granddaughter at the same time. Also bought a couple of new paperbacks from Amazon and needy week I am going out to lunch with two friends.

I also go back to Wales several times a year and pay for a nice Airbnb to stay in.

I know I’m luckier than some but having things to look forward to really helps mental health I think. There have been a lot of family stress in the last few years so treats help a lot

Sorry next week not needy

Food/confectionary, no guilt.
I too had cherries and strawberries this week and will until they go out of season.

Thank you all - I’m really going to try spending more money on myself after years of being careful. Think cherries might be in season for a while - off to the supermarket tomorrow then!

I love doing things just for myself once in a while. I went to the theatre on my own for example. My husband had Covid and I never asked anyone else to come with me! I got the train, had two big glasses of wine in the bar and sang along to my hearts content. ( it was A Chorus Line)

Fleur To me a 'treat' has always been something small, a packet of sweets, a magazine, a bunch of flowers.

As for decent clothes, I mean clothees fit to wear, not worn out, some people seem to think that even dressing decently (as just defined) is something they should not do.

I have never been an expensive dresser, I wouldn't spend £800 on a pair of shoes, simply because I would consider it a waste of money that could be better spent on other things, not because I couldn't justify spending it on myself. But, equally, I cannot imagine I would spend £800 on a work of art.

I think because DH and I always wrote personal expenditure money into our budgets, our pocket money, even when it might be a as little as a £5 a month, just as we wrote clothing allowances into our budget, so many of the things that other people seem to consider 'treats' we budgetted for.

My defintion of a treat is an impulse buy and likely to be trivial.

Our treat to ourselves today was a drive out to a local beauty spot when most of the crowds had gone home, a walk in the woods and then a cross country ride home along tiny rural roads we didn't know existed and villages we had never heard off. It was lovely.

Little treats yes.

I treat other now I can.

Now I am a widow I am happy to treat myself. If it turns out that I have spent more than I should then I'm not hurting anyone else, and I'll just have to cut back for a while. Since a health scare a couple of years ago I've realised that waiting to get something later may be too late.

No never, in fact I sometimes overindulge myself. I don’t mean spending thousands but if I see an advert for a new mascara or face cream I go out and buy it. What a numptie I am.

NanKate

No never, in fact I sometimes overindulge myself. I don’t mean spending thousands but if I see an advert for a new mascara or face cream I go out and buy it. What a numptie I am.

Face cream. I know what I like and what suits me.

It might be expensive at £50 a pot, but I'm not going to be persuaded to buy 'wonderful' face cream from Aldi, Lidl, Superdrug or even Boots own because I've tried one or two and don't want to risk getting a rash again!

I wasn't brought up with money. Taught to save from an early age and the value of you wanted something you had to have enough to pay for it with cash. Both my parents worked hard all their lives in factories on the shop floor. But by saving my mom had the money to put down on their first house . That's how it was in my family . Mom saved for things we needed and dad's money paid all the bills. They moved house to a better area . Dad had a second hand car every 3 years and we always had a week's holiday in a caravan every year. We had good food cooked from scratch but cheaper cuts of meat. Our underwear was always M&S and always had proper fitting shoes from Clarks. Our top clothes where always good quality but brought from cheaper shops . But we where rich in love and attention. Always had birthday ,Easter and Christmas presents . And a chocolate bar and comic on a Saturday.

So I was brought up being careful with money and saved . I didn't treat myself even after I got married my husband knew I hated spending money on myself so he used to surprise me with shopping trips to get new clothes and shoes . I would much rather give than receive as I always to this day worry about how much people spend on me.

Because of my husband's upbringing . He said the children would be brought up the way my brother and me where. His parents where well off but never spent it on him or have him the love and attention he needed he got that from my extended family.

Unfortunately my husband died in 2004 aged 47. So had to be extra careful with money but out children never went without. But they knew the value of money.

I am very proud of the fact they worked and saved to buy their own homes and even paid for their own weddings.

It wasn't until last year I finally treated myself only because I finally got disability benefits I had been fighting for since 1988. Don't laugh but I brought 2 x2Ol dehumidifiers and brought a Seasalt coat which cost £160 never spent that much on a coat ever.

This year had my first holiday for 19 years in May just Monday to Friday loved it so much going away in September just Monday to Friday again . Already decided where I want to go in May but this time for a week.

I had my state pension this year and with my PIP and pension credit finally I can treat myself and not feel guilty. But would rather give than receive as I still worry about what people spend on me.

Not in the slightest.
We don’t buy birthday or Christmas presents for adults in our extended family, so buying the odd indulgence for ourselves is normal.
I wouldn’t class a punnet of fruit as a treat though. For me a treat would be something out of the ordinary for my everyday life.

I like to treat myself but I don`t need anything much these days, so my treat to myself has to be special, wants not needs.

A few months ago I bought a soft zipped leather knitting bag, project 10 by re-designed. the sort of bag that smells of best leather and is so practical and nice to touch.

I buy myself top notch cheese sometimes, online as they are made from raw milk, very expensive but a taste explosion together with their beautiful small crackers. Worth every penny

This week I stocked up with the finest french soaps, bars to store in various drawers. My bedroom will smell like a boudoir.

Two years ago I treated myself to full sets of pure fine linen bedding

I love expensive dark chocolate brazils, I keep them in the fridge and have two every day. I also buy montezuma black chocolate, I limit myself to a strip every day

Fabric, it is always the best quality, best linen and so on. This feeds my sewing mojo and I make myself some beautiful clothes. I could buy cheap but quality is best and is expensive, especially when it is japanese

I treated myself to another sewing machine a few months ago, a vintage bernina. Now I have three berninas, two are identical and vintage and the three are in different areas of the house. I use them all, I have a passion for mechanical things and these give me joy

I don`t bother with holidays, it is not a treat, I like to get up early every day and not fear disturbing anyone and I have a lovely house, beautiful garden and what is not to love in somerset

My third bike was a treat to myself, a road bike, light as a feather and as twitchy as they come. I use it all the time in the good weather. It was a very nice present to myself

I never feel guilty, I love my treats, they brighten up my day

I don't often buy myself treats - force of habit.
I don't go without though and now you have put cherries in my mind, I'll buy some today. 🍒 😋

I love treating my DC but a recent attempt to pay for DD and her family for a weekend away was refused because she said it was overpriced and she wouldn't enjoy it!

Not at all, my late husband and I scrimped and saved when our three lads were young. Now that I have a few quid to spare I do treat myself (and the family).

No… but like treating others too!

Spent years watching the pennies when my children were at home and my ex was tight so my wages didn't go far. Since my divorce, it's taken quite a few years, I often now "treat myself". I still won't spend a stupid amount on something if I know I can get similar for less (M^S dress £50, George £16!!) & if, like the dress example, it's a good saving I buy 2😁. I have several holidays every year, get my hair cut every 5 weeks at my favourite hairdressers, and intend to spend any money I have enjoying my life. My kids may get something when I die but I'm no longer scrimping to leave them anything, they've had enough and I'm enjoying my freedom and being able to treat myself if I feel like it.

Could not afford to treat myself when my son was young as all I earned went on things for him. Now old & on my own if one of my favourite bands has a new album out I will buy it. Same with books from favourite authors or that is recommended by someone. As I cant get about too well now I shop a lot online but that is always household so not really spending on treats. Had to work at convincing myself it is ok to treat myself occasionally after scrimping for so long! Love treating my Grandchildren every time I see them as they & my DS & DDiL make my life worth living!

Yes - and, oddly, I feel particularly guilty about buying cherries and eating them all myself!

I was the third child in a family of four, so maybe the importance of sharing was impressed on me at a very young age!

Not now …..not since I stopped ‘saving regularly for the future’ after I retired from work! Don't consider it a treat to get a good haircut every six weeks or so and a manicure every month.

I don’t mind spending it, I just hate wasting it! I spent half an hour last week telling my husband we need to spend our money rather than leave it for the government. Then went to buy a cheese and tomato sandwich in a nearby cafe and they were £6.80 each! Not even sourdough bread just plain white sliced. Straight back to the camper van to make my own. My OH is still laughing at me!
Having said that I do now treat myself to lots of little things that make life nicer. Flowers once a fortnight, blow dry each week etc. life is meant to be enjoyed.