Do you find it difficult to ‘treat’ yourself?

I came from a very deprived family, where life was a constant struggle, compounded by mu father's chronic ill health. There were no treats for anyone.

I believed having a good education would help improve my life.
Throughout my career, I continued to study and work hard, to provide the life I never had. It meant that my children never suffered the way I did.
When they were still at home, my priority was them. I rarely treated myself and if I did, I felt guilty.
They are now all earning good salaries, but I do still treat them.

However, my chronic il health means that I can no longer go on holiday abroad or do many of the things we had planned to do. Little treats nake life more tolerable.

I do find it difficult spending on myself. Never think twice about spending on daughter, grandchildren though. Why is that? I've no idea, just don't like watching my bank balance going down if unnecessary. Always think I'm just not worth the spend. I get a lovely feeling spending on others but just not on myself. That said we have a good bank balance (I think) and I know I can't take it with me, the house itself is worth a lot of money which will be left to our only daughter BUT I still just can't spend on myself. My own mum was the same but she certainly didn't have the disposable income we have. I need a kick up the you know what I think.

After raising my own family, I had to start all over again raising my grandaughterand spent the next 20+ years doing so, still helping her, and also treats for my youngest grandaughter ( different parents).

Now is my time, I dont go on expensive holidays as something I have never been able to afford all my life, I live alone so if I see a nice outfit and my family are all ok I will buy it, I have my nails done every 3 weeks and a lovely cheap as chips £9 dry cut for my silver hair every 3 weeks.

I am not an extravagant, person live within my means, so no I dont feel guilty, it makes me a happier person and gives quality to my life.

Books are also big part if my spending ,I couldnt function without a book to hand and they would be the very last thing I would forego.

Like most on here I can spend freely on family and find myself incapable of buying anything for myself unless it’s reduced! I made a resolution that I shall only eat what I want( DH does most of the shopping and loves fish. I hate fish) I’ve moved on to buying myself on line admittedly something I’ve thought was lovely,every few months regardless of cost. I can afford it having always been a saver. I’ve now decided to buy myself flowers every week( kitty lester you inspired me with your thread about florists) we had a wedding anniversary last week. Only two cards and it’s over 50 years. A bunch of flowers would have been appreciated but zilch.

Nails, facials, pedicures, and I go privately for ambulatory health issues. I spent a lifetime studying, working, providing and now it is my time.

Treating yourself can make you better in lots of ways...according to Sainsbury;s magazine article..

www.sainsburysmagazine.co.uk/lifestyle/health/treat-yourself#:~:text='Studies%20have%20shown%20that%20when,'

Yes but I’m working on it😁! If something I like, rather than need, I will buy it. DH always encouraged me to spend money on myself but would never spend it on himself. I don’t have any qualms about treating the family. When GS asked if he could borrow my good binoculars for their holiday I said yes, but then bought him a decent pair of his own instead. I got as much pleasure out of that as he did.

Yes, I’m “with you” on that Greyduster - I get a lot of pleasure buying things for the GC.

Well, I am sublimely selfish. I never let a thought for my family become between me and a packet of Bassetts Liquorice Allsorts, a magazine, or aa book, 9 times out of 10, a secondhand book.

We always arranged our finances so that we both had money, initially not much, to spend as we wished - and I did. I bought other people treats - mars bars for DH, more books for DC.

But this idea of living in rags and penury while spending everything on other people I have never been able to see as any sign of virtue, merely an internal form of virtue sigalling - to oneself, which may be sufficient for some people, but makes life pretty miserable.

M0nica

Well, I am sublimely selfish. I never let a thought for my family become between me and a packet of Bassetts Liquorice Allsorts, a magazine, or aa book, 9 times out of 10, a secondhand book.

We always arranged our finances so that we both had money, initially not much, to spend as we wished - and I did. I bought other people treats - mars bars for DH, more books for DC.

But this idea of living in rags and penury while spending everything on other people I have never been able to see as any sign of virtue, merely an internal form of virtue sigalling - to oneself, which may be sufficient for some people, but makes life pretty miserable.

Hi M0nica. Bassetts Liquorice Allsorts are my favourite and I always steal the pink and blue jelly ones. Also, Quality Street, the green triangle. Yum!

Do you find it difficult to ‘treat’ yourself?

Nope.

Living in a cold climate, it's jumpers at the moment. Also liquorice allsorts. Bassetts and RJ's from 'Lakeland'. Different but good.

When we lived in Sheffield we were near enough to smell the Bassetts factory if the wind was in the right direction.

I still struggle with this when I dither DH always says " its our money!"

Baggs

*Do you find it difficult to ‘treat’ yourself?*

Nope.

Living in a cold climate, it's jumpers at the moment. Also liquorice allsorts. Bassetts and RJ's from 'Lakeland'. Different but good.

When we lived in Sheffield we were near enough to smell the Bassetts factory if the wind was in the right direction.

Lucky you! I went to stay with a friend once who lived by the Mars factory in Slough. Divine. By the way, thank you for your Apple Cake recipe on GN. Mine turned out very well and everyone loved it. Baking is not my forte.

I would say "it depends". Small & inexpensive treats are fine but I struggle to spend more on myself. Anything "healthwise" is OK; I pay happily for chiropodist appointments but balk at a pedicure! Recently I bought some new undies; hadn't done this for some time. Like Greyduster, I've a DH who encourages me to spend on myself - and I'm working on it!

No, DH and I often treat ourselves and don’t feel the need to justify it to anyone

I too find it difficult to splash out on myself. It’s a psychological thing - my ex-husband was and is a spendthrift. Therefore, I feel I have to leave something for my children, because he certainly won’t. His new wife will make sure of that …..

Dotty123 I also bought some cherries yesterday and they were delicious! I am all for buying small treats such as the cherries or some English strawberries. Other things may be a new nail varnish, some basic everyday earrings, a coffee in a favourite café, a new book, some inexpensive make up. If it makes you feel good go ahead and do it. We are not talking about extravagance here but small treats that bring us pleasure. Enjoy!

Cherries are in season

I find it quite difficult to spend on myself. Exception being private health care. My husband is likely to splash out on many things. We're a balance, I believe.

Cherries and strawberries are good for you, at least one or two of your five a day.
Or all of your five a day if you eat a boxful, Dotty123! 😁

I must buy some local cherries this week.

Took time but I'm now completely able to indulge myself without question. Daft really but old habits do indeed die hard.

No - can't do it. Haven't for years. Can't justify it. I do look like a bag lady most of the time but............... I am glad that I haven't indulged, as there a few pounds in the bank and the rainy day is upon me. £2,000 for dentistry. £1,000+ for orthopaedic consultant and tests. I guess there will be other medical bills too. The dysfunctional NHS is not going to see me! My precious four legged friends to care for - at least they have private medical insurance!!

I really struggle to spend money on me and very rarely buy new clothes. I love the charity shops though and ive had many bargains. My husband however loves spending money but as he has Stage 4 cancer then why not.

I used to. Now I do treat myself, rarely, but well. FRom time to time, for something really worth it, I really go for it. But I can afford it now.

Well, sort of, within reason. Don't buy big names, Vuittons, Porsches, Cartier and the like. My most expensive treat was a good pair of binoculars, they never leave my side.