Dignity

Carmen54 - for many years I worked with women escaping domestic abuse - they went back to "these men" (or let them back into their lives), again and again until they respected themselves and realised what great people they were/could be without these men.

Not everyone can learn this the first time.
for supporting her - but I believe she is not at the end yet.

When she says she has lost her dignity I’m imagining that she begged him on bended knees not to leave her. She’s not the first and she won’t be the last woman to react this way.
My close friend worshipped her husband so much that she was prepared to have her husband’s lover live in their house.

Silver lining, if she did not care for him one way or the other she would not feel scorned by him. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Perhaps she should change her tune and stop allowing someone who she doesn’t care for make her feel worthless. She’s doing that for herself, and frankly, it does sound ridiculously juvenile.

NotSpaghetti You are right asked her that very question why have you not blocked him She actually has strong feelings for him seems

Caleo. I would say she is very angry at him for treating her badly and him having the satisfaction of ignoring her like she was worth nothing..she keeps saying he makes her feel like she's worth nothing

Wow Caleo that sounds spot on..inability to get even with him . She may be very angry with him.

Her "dignity" is hers.
Nothing to do with this waster of a man.

Surely, getting out is to be applauded.

It sounds (to me) that her relationship with him is not really over though - otherwise she would have blocked him and moved on.

PS It's possible that her feeling of loss of dignity is actually her inability to get even with him . She may be very angry with him.

She has trusted this man with her emotional safety, but her trust was unsafe. She may feel she has lost her dignity but she simply was fooled . All nice people who trust an untrustworthy relationship are fools , so please tell your friend she is a good person and her dignity is intact.

It's a pity, but she has to live through her lfeeling of loss of whatever it was this man gave her. She should work on diverting her attention from her loss.

Thank you guys really helpful stuff read them all a couple of times hoping that something might land

Thank you really appreciate your time

Dignity is not something that you can lose. It is something that you attain when you behave with dignity.

Your sister seems to be looking for reasons not to face up to he fact that her ex was a bad'un and behaved badly to the end.

She should walk away with her head held hugh, her dignity intact and have nothing more to do with this man. Put him in her past and show by her demeanor and dignity that she knows she is well out of a bad bargain.

As are you OP?

Don’t want to seem harsh but this is surely for her to manage. Why are you so involved? She’s presumably a mature woman, not a teenager.

I’m wondering how old is this cousin and how long the relationship was? Not meant in an unkind way, but it sounds as if she wants to have the last word - a bit immature?
Whether that’s right or wrong, I think she needs to draw a line under the whole thing and move on. Thats the dignified thing to do. She hasn’t lost her dignity, she just feels hurt.

Reading the post again, all this messaging and blocking/unblocking malarkey is just childish and self-defeating. It makes her sound desperate?

I think Carmen you’ve just got to let this run its course. She’s not taking any notice of you, or her brothers, so I’d try not to get too involved/bogged down in it. Good luck.

If she isn't going to see him again, what's the problem.

It doesn't matter who blocked or unblocked who.

There’s dignity and there’s stubbornness.
It doesn’t sound as if the relationship brought her much “dignity” but if she is in a strop because he ended it his way she needs to get over that, get over him, and move on.
Self-respect would matter more to me.

The best advice you can give her is to delete all digital stuff around him, his details, his photos, and try and find something to take her mind of him.

Time is a great healer, she will move on, she will get over him.

Persoanlly, and this could just be me, I wouldnt be getting involved in her dramas.

Thank goodness she has got rid of him. THAT is real dignity, and rising proud from those sad times.

Hi Shel she said she feels she's lost her dignity because of how it ended

He blocked her after the angry message she sent ..funny thing though she said he replied to it then blocked her..then unblocked her but ignored a message that she sent !!

.

She is obviously very disturbed by the split, but it seems to me she is well rid
of him! Don't understand why she feels she has lost her dignity!? Hope she can move forward , recognize she is worth more and find someone who respects her.