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Are we looking younger than our mothers/grandmothers did at the same age?

(133 Posts)
Sago Tue 20-Aug-24 09:55:58

I am 61, I don’t feel I look particularly young or old for my age, yet when I think back to my mother at 60 she looked very old in comparison.

The internet has been wonderful to keep up with trends and styles and skincare and cosmetics are far more sophisticated.

So are we looking/dressing younger or am delusional?

anniehall123 Wed 21-Aug-24 20:03:44

I agree that we do look, feel and act younger than our grandmothers or even mothers. I also think it does have to do with better nutrition, skin and hair products are easier to use and get. Also, it is true that we have so many more conveniences to help us with the chores that our mothers and grandmothers spent hours doing. I also think the philosophies have changed, in my mom's day if you were married, everything was about the husbands' well being, as he was the breadwinner. In those days by the time you finished your housework, ran the kids everywhere, it was time to make dinner every night. That is still true today, but now woman our age are encouraged to take care of ourselves and that it is okay to take time for ourselves. We also have much better health care to help with our hormones after Menopause and solutions for staying as young as you can.

Lilyflower Wed 21-Aug-24 20:10:24

Some women in previous decades were slimmer but had poorly cut hair which is very ageing. Today, a number of women are slimmer because of an interest in exercise and health and they eat well -though others are not and do not. And modern women also have access to haircare and beauty products that their own mothers did not.

I walked along Lyme Regis seafront today and noted that leisure clothes, especially fleeces and sweatshirts, do not a youthful appearance make.

cookiemonster66 Wed 21-Aug-24 20:12:53

I remember my nan in her kitchen with a pinny on, and nora batty thick tights, she had a purple rinse on her grey hair which was set at the hairdressers every Friday in rollers. When I worked out her age she was only in her 40's! I think times have changed and we can stay younger looking nowadays

Casdon Wed 21-Aug-24 20:36:40

Lilyflower

Some women in previous decades were slimmer but had poorly cut hair which is very ageing. Today, a number of women are slimmer because of an interest in exercise and health and they eat well -though others are not and do not. And modern women also have access to haircare and beauty products that their own mothers did not.

I walked along Lyme Regis seafront today and noted that leisure clothes, especially fleeces and sweatshirts, do not a youthful appearance make.

Or even worse, jogging bottoms, the most unflattering clothing item in our history I think. If you look back at old footage from seventy years ago, everybody looked smart when they were out and about compared to now, when seeing smartly dressed people is more remarkable.

Summerfly Thu 22-Aug-24 00:35:05

Don’t forget the pearls Kitty. 😁

David49 Thu 22-Aug-24 07:58:41

Everyone was slimmer in previous decades there was far more physical work and food was far more expensive in relation to wages. When my parents married there was still food rationing as well, somewhere Ive still got my ration card from back then.

Musicgirl Thu 22-Aug-24 08:16:38

Not everyone was slimmer in earlier decades - many people were overweight. Both my grandfathers were as round as they were tall. I agree that far more people are overweight/obese to an extent that was unusual years ago and that a good number of them wear clothes that are totally unsuitable for their size, thus accentuating the problem.

Pythagorus Thu 22-Aug-24 08:18:52

There is no excuse for not younger than our mothers! We are so much better informed about nutrition and exercise than our mothers were.
The biggest obstacles to our looking younger are obesity and lack of exercise. Our mothers exercised more because they didn’t have the labour saving devices that we have. They were also slimmer because they didn’t have all the junk food that we have. Today, most of us have more money and can spend more on ourselves. We have money to take care of ourselves with regard to diet, exercise and skincare.
When women get older, it’s really important that they have sufficient protein to rebuild muscle. Most older women eat too much sugar and carbohydrates and not enough protein, only a very small percentage of older women exercise regularly and lift weights. It’s resistance training that rebuilds our rapidly shrinking muscles.
I am lucky in that my son is a physiotherapist and make sure I keep on track!

NotSpaghetti Thu 22-Aug-24 10:04:06

grandtanteJE65 I too know how stress ages us. I was much younger a year after my lovely mum died than I was the month before...

...and years later I was 10 years younger when I changed jobs! Everyone said so!

Gummie Thu 22-Aug-24 10:39:25

I don't think people do look younger today.

Some may dress younger and be much fatter, but otherwise many people are full of botox, lip fillers, overly made up faces etc and look horrible. Plastic but not younger.

Mt61 Thu 22-Aug-24 11:01:42

I wonder what these young girls, with fillers, are going to look like when they get to their mother’s ages now? Apparently according to a surgeon, it makes them appear older than they are now & that’s young girls of 20 yrs of age- be interesting to see down the line

Sleepygran Thu 22-Aug-24 13:26:34

Until about 3 years ago,I looked younger than my mum at the same age but the last 3:years with my husband being ill I’ve aged about 15 years! And my own health is failing which is also ageing.

NotSpaghetti Thu 22-Aug-24 14:08:52

I think this is key Sleepygran - nobody looks fabulous when stressed or ill or exhausted.
💐

Daddima Thu 22-Aug-24 14:43:59

Maybe another thing could be that many women didn’t go out as much as we do. I know my mother certainly wouldn’t have gone ‘out out’ when I was a child, so would not have suitable clothes for an evening out. I do remember my parents going to local dances, but this was by no means a common occurrence.

Nannan2 Thu 22-Aug-24 16:42:54

Our family have good younger looking genes- my gran died at nearly 85 and had smooth skin.My late mum had good skin, no wrinkles, and i dont look 61.All my AC get told they look very young for their age (some still ID checked) the youngest 2 especially.(21 & 25) I guess we are lucky.But yes i think people dress much younger these days, i mean, you only have to watch an old 40's or 50's movie to see that even teens and young adults dressed like they were 50! (Hats, suits etc!)

DiamondLily Thu 22-Aug-24 17:40:58

I think many older people now have the time and the money to look after themselves better now - many are working past pension age.

My grandparents looked very old to what I do now, judging by memory and photos.

MissAdventure Thu 22-Aug-24 17:51:50

I can't imagine my mum ever talking about having so many shoes, she couldn't count, or going to a spa, or saying that decent clothes cost £800 a time.

She wouldn't have spent more than a fiver on a lipstick, neither did she ever have her "colours done".

Perhaps that's the answer...

M0nica Fri 23-Aug-24 07:24:25

Nannan2

Our family have good younger looking genes- my gran died at nearly 85 and had smooth skin.My late mum had good skin, no wrinkles, and i dont look 61.All my AC get told they look very young for their age (some still ID checked) the youngest 2 especially.(21 & 25) I guess we are lucky.But yes i think people dress much younger these days, i mean, you only have to watch an old 40's or 50's movie to see that even teens and young adults dressed like they were 50! (Hats, suits etc!)

Yes, This is a benefit that runs in our family. We go grey quite late and slowly and our skin ages slowly as well.

When my father was admitted to hospital at 92. Mentally, still as a sharp as a knife, the doctor examining him commented on what physical good shape he was in and how much younger than his age he appeared.

We have a cousins gathering, on my father's side, every year and you can see there how many of us, all in our 70s and 80s are still fit, active and free of so many of the physical and mental problems of old age. But, as I said, our our parents also aged well. I have a photo of my mother at 80, her hair was grey by then, mine isn't. but she still looks younger than many women that age do now.

The trick to aging well is to choose your parents carefully having first checked out their genetic inheritance.

Gundy Sun 25-Aug-24 12:54:40

We are all looking waaay younger than our mother’s and grandmothers - thanks to the independent attitudes adopted over the decades that have helped us to take care of ourselves and guide us into new eras of our lives.

I’m in my 70’s and women have found new vistas and meaning to their lives - even with grandchildren. We travel more, volunteer - some even do part time paid work, when widowed or divorced we find new relationships, we are taking care of ourselves (it’s not being selfish)…. it’s a whole new mentality. We do not shrivel up and die on the vine. Our children keep us younger too. I’ve never been happier than in my 70’s!

M0nica Sun 25-Aug-24 20:13:52

Gundy I think you have a very stereotyped view of women in earlier generations. Your description does not apply to either my mother or her mother.

I come from a family of feminsts. My grandmother was widowed in WW1 and led an independent and active life to the end. She refuses two advantageous opportunities to remarry, prefering to remain single. She was a professional dressmaker and an active social worker in the community she lived in.

As a professional dressmaker, she was always very elegantly dressed and turned out we. My mother likewise, people often complimented me on having such an elegant mother and she looked after herself. kept her weight down was always well made-up.

My grandmothere made sure her 2 daughters had a good education and went into professions that could provide them with a good living were they not ever to marry

My mother did not see her working life ending with marriage and worked through most of my childhood. The money wasn't necessary and my father had no objections.

With 2 generations of young widows behind her, in turn she was very insistent that her daughters got a good education and went to university, which we all did. I worked for most of my children's childhoods. I married a man whose mother was the main wage earner in the family so he never had any objections to me working. My mother also always had interests and hobbies that she followed outside the home, as did my father.

There is nothing you list modern women as doing that my mother and grandmother did not do.

Shrivel up and die on the vine? Not in this family, ever.

MissAdventure Sun 25-Aug-24 20:45:56

Nobody shrivelled up in my family either. (Apart from me)

bunty0510 Mon 26-Aug-24 02:50:31

I think that every generation thinks this way!
I’m in my 80s and was brought up by my grandparents. We certainly had a Hoover, washing machine, fridge, (which was run on gas!) and telephone, so not so different. Granny always looked very elegant and I try to emulate that!!!!

Gundy Mon 26-Aug-24 20:52:05

MOnica - that was a metaphor that kind of flew right over your head. I was not talking about your mom.

I was talking in generalities because women throughout the ages have been just like us.

The astronomical changes have come through products, technology, fashion, education, laws, healthcare, peers and more. Yup, there’s no excuse to shrivel up and die on the vine. There are more opportunities now than ever. Not everyone seizes them and I also realize not everyone can afford them.

nannan2 - Yes, parent’s gene pool play a big part. They are the lucky ones!

M0nica Mon 26-Aug-24 20:59:51

* Gundy* My family are not special. They are typical of the generations that went before us. Wmen were nott he put upon passive domestic slaves that is the accepted image of previous generations.

Talk to any family about previous generations, read the books and novel women wrote about women's lives and you will find the stories of women at every level with agency, whether married, single or widowed.

Yes, things have changed, we do have opportunities that women of earlier generations did not have, but i think that people often do not realise the extent that the opportunities open to men were also limited. Giverned by social class, being put into professions by their fathers or superiors with no consideration of their talents of inclinations.

Chocolatelovinggran Tue 27-Aug-24 10:12:48

Efficient contraception available to women might play its part. Endless pregnancies and baby care are very wearing.
Not many women in Britain today have thirteen children, as my grandmother did.