Family bully/ what to do.

00opsidia

MissAdventure

I'd block them, as hard as that may be.
The fact that you have months worth of abusive texts shows that nothing will change.
Does the person have mental health issues?
That would sway me to perhaps persevere.

Yes they have had MH issues. But they deny it exists. Apparently I am all that is evil .

Has the person been given a formal diagnosis. So well knows they have it?

Or is it a case of everyone guessing?

Dee1012

How close is the family member?
Although in my opinion there's no little or no excuse for that level of behaviour.

Personally, I'd contact them saying that if they continued to send abusive texts / voicemails, I would be contacting the police.
If it is a genuine mental health concern...are other family members getting the same level of abuse?
Could you speak to another in the hope of some intervention?

I don't want to write in public what the relationship is, but am happy to discuss in PM's.

Other members of the family may be getting abuse but are not in contact with us because of a very difficult situation which this person has created. I have not deleted any messages from this relative, ever.

The messages they sent are very incriminating to them in so many ways.

It might depend on who it is, as far as I would be concerned.

It's a very difficult situation.
I think I would still block the texts, because you will still be able to see they've been sent, if you've a mind to, so at least you'll know the person is ok (ish)

If you just check, without opening or reading the texts, it might be best for you.

You can't be a punching bag for this person without it taking a toll on you, I'm sure.

How close is the family member?
Although in my opinion there's no little or no excuse for that level of behaviour.

Personally, I'd contact them saying that if they continued to send abusive texts / voicemails, I would be contacting the police.
If it is a genuine mental health concern...are other family members getting the same level of abuse?
Could you speak to another in the hope of some intervention?

I did confront them last time they spoke because I'm recovering from a serious illness and don't need that. They tried to turn things around and say I was bullying them, so I challenged them to find a quote where I had said anything remotely negative. They went quiet because I have not been anything other than kind and nice, so there is no proof against me.

MissAdventure

I'd block them, as hard as that may be.
The fact that you have months worth of abusive texts shows that nothing will change.
Does the person have mental health issues?
That would sway me to perhaps persevere.

Yes they have had MH issues. But they deny it exists. Apparently I am all that is evil .

It's difficult to know what to advise without knowing your relationship to this family member because depending on the closeness, taking action may not be something you feel you can do.

I wouldn't tolerate it regardless of who it is. It's abuse and abuse should never be tolerated from anyone. You are being manipulated into accepting the abuse with the 'promise'/hints of niceness, that things may change.

Why is it necessary to ignore all family birthdays and Christmas's for the foreseeable future? Is it not possible to distance yourself from just this particular family member?

I would refuse to engage with this person, not talk to them and block any way they may have of messaging me. I would tell them what I'm going to do and if they find any other means of harassing me, I'll take the evidence I have to pursue legal action.

I hope you can find a resolution you can be comfortable with .

Depends who it is, most likely I would copy the message back to them and add

“If you ever send me a message like that again you will be blocked”

If it happens again do just that.

I'd block them, as hard as that may be.
The fact that you have months worth of abusive texts shows that nothing will change.
Does the person have mental health issues?
That would sway me to perhaps persevere.