Teenagers

Oh yes! They won’t give a lot away at that age, NanKate. Their hormones are kicking in and they swing from being the happy outgoing boy you know so well to being silent, spotty, argumentative and opinionated and back again. He’ll be like this for about three years, if you’re lucky! And yes, they do grow away from us and it’s sad, but they come out of this hormonal sausage machine as fine young men we can be very proud of - and they still love us to bits!

I've been spotty, argumentative, and opinionated for years. My grandson is very uncommunicative, and he's a teen.

It drives me absolutely mad, trying to get him to part with any information.

I never realised boys could be so complicated!

We have two teenage granddaughter's. One is 14 the other is nearly 13. They have changed so much , I feel like we've lost them sometimes, they used to ne such happy fun loving children. Now if I talk to the eldest, I get a grunt in return. Having gone through it with my own daughters, I know there's light at the end of the tunnel 🤷‍♀️

I was very close to my eldest DGD, saw her every day from when she was born as she attended nursery/school where I worked and she stayed with me at weekends as her parents.
worked in hospitality. At 13 she rarely called, didn't send birthday cards etc, didn't attend my 2nd wedding due to a silly disagreement. Now she is 25 and such a wonderful young woman.
I regret the falling out and looking back should have just kept my opinions to myself. I did apologise BUT my point is just ride it out. In a few years he will emerge a young man and (hopefully) all will be well again
Thinking of you xx

Just think back to when your grown kids were teenagers. They do become withdrawn/distracted and less interested in family life, more interested in their peers.
Is a tough time for them. I certainly wouldn’t want to revisit it. Just be there for them and keeping showing your love. Is a bit sad, I agree, but is also a necessary part of growing up.

As a younger teenager (13-15) I was mostly concentrated on getting my O levels and a good job. As an older teenager (16-18) I was again concentrating on my professional exams so I could earn enough to leave the family home. I had no interest in family life and probably did the bare minimum around the house outside my own washing and ironing. I had to share a bedroom with my sister so I spent most of my time at friends houses or the library.

Yes, they do drift away from us and we can feel the loss of the easy relationships we once had with teenage grandchildren very keenly. But hang on in there keeping communication going as best you can and in time the strong bonds formed when they were young will hold strong and pull them back towards you. That’s what I’ve found anyway, mine are mostly girls who are complicated creatures too!

Does anyone remember Harry Enfield's 'Kevin'? I particularly liked the sketch when he becomes a teenager. The night before he's talking normally but when he comes down on the morning of his 13th birthday, all he does is grunt!!!

My boy spends a lot of time at his girlfriend's house where apparently he is loved for being such a kind and helpful person..

I remember when my sons were that age they became more image conscious, especially when they were out and about.
Being seen around their aged mum didn't do much for their street cred.

I took one to Mcdonalds for what I thought was a treat. Suddenly he jumped up and shot outside. A little gang of his schoolmates appeared from upstairs. DS's radar had obviously been on full alert.

I was left to contemplate a heap of uneaten junk food and the fact that Mum's importance in his life had diminished a lot.

To FT from a dental surgery is not really conducive to a proper conversation.

How awful for the other people in the waiting room, I find it absolutely cringeworthy to have to listen to these kind of conversations in public.

I am sure if you had a private conversation with him this evening from home he will be far more amenable.

I agree Sago.

I always say teenagers "disappear" until they "reappear" at about age 18.

Even at age 15, they can start reappearing, if you are lucky.

If I had to Facetime someone from a dentist's waiting-room with strangers sitting around with no choice but to see and hear the whole conversation, I wouldn't be very chatty either, and I am 85, not 15. No wonder he wasn't keen to speak. You were lucky that he was no worse than "very bland and downbeat." Don't judge him by this exchange.

Teenagers, boys in particular, are notoriously sulky, monotone, grumpy and suddenly seem to lose the power of speech, as well as becoming increasingly self conscious! Please don’t worry, he’ll grow out of most of this in time

Smileless2012

Does anyone remember Harry Enfield's 'Kevin'? I particularly liked the sketch when he becomes a teenager. The night before he's talking normally but when he comes down on the morning of his 13th birthday, all he does is grunt!!!

Loved this and although much exaggerated did sum up teenage boys!

My 18 year old grandson, who stays over every Friday night, has communicated in grunts for years. Our only actual conversations were about Death in Paradise or Manchester United, difficult as I support Liverpool! Over the last few months things have begun to look up, we talk much more and about lots of different things which is great.
I have to say I don't think face-timing from the dentist would be conducive to a deep and meaningful conversation for anyone, especially as he was about to get braces. Poor lad, I wouldn't have wanted to chat either.!

One of mine was shouty and rude, the other, if told off sulked for England, stared at the floor and became completely mono syllabic. Both, by their own admission now, say they didn't fully appreciate a lot of what we did, where we took them on holiday for example. The once shouty and rude one, has said I just wish I could go back there to those times and be a different person. When he got to a certain age, he was so horrible we stopped taking him away. Once when looking at our holiday photographs a little while after we returned and regretting he didn't come. He remarked, "there's my brother, he's got my jeans on (brother had nicked them for the holiday) oh well at least my jeans got to go to LA even if I wasn't in them"

Meanwhile granddaughter, on becoming a teenager has gone into grunty mono syllabic mode, but it's intermittent, sometimes she's very talkative, in the words of Forest Gump "it's a bit like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gonna get" Grandson 9, is still a smiley chirpy chappy, well he always says the right thing to me which produces the result he's hoping for. I hope he doesn't go all Kevin on me in a few years, but won't be surprised if he does.

I think it’s bizarre to FT from a dentist’s surgery! For most people, dentists are a bit stressful anyway and then there are reception staff, other patients and maybe phones ringing and so on so it’s not conducive to a relaxed chat.

I have to say, though, your GS sounds like a standard issue teenager! It’s what they do. My oldest ds pretty much went into his bedroom when he was 12yo and didn’t emerge again until he was 15, apart from to go to school and to find food. Then overnight, he turned into a social butterfly and things improved out of all recognition.

My younger son was of the grunting variety. He did make appearances and our house was popular with his friends so I would often have a series of grunting lads marching through like a troop of monkeys, albeit grunting politely.

Hang on in there and keep the door open to him.

Thanks for putting my mind at rest.

No one else in the surgery just DS and DGS. Whenever my DGS is a bit down or ill my DS FaceTimes me to cheer him up. I recognise the pattern. The DGSs have had a tough time in the last few years but generally things are on the up.

When my girls were teenagers they didn’t grunt but they could be divas, flouncing around stating ‘you don’t understand’ and slamming doors.

I took the trouble to learn grunt and then my grandson reverted back to English 🤦🏼‍♀️

She is fluent in grunt, i can confirm.