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Totally overwhelmed with life's problems

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Iam64 Thu 12-Sept-24 22:00:58

I’m so sorry to learn your daughter took her life. It must be heart breaking for you and I’m sorry for your loss
No wonder you’re feeling overwhelmed with sadness and worry for your youngest daughter and granddaughter. Your love and closeness will help. I know it sounds obvious and trite but please look after yourself. Finding some space to relax maybe walk or do something you know helps you is so important x

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Grandmafrench Thu 12-Sept-24 22:00:54

After the hell that you and your family have gone through following the sad loss of your Daughter, it’s not surprising that you feel overwhelmed and panicky over your younger Daughter’s revelation.

But try not to despair or to feel that it falls on your shoulders to make everything ok for everyone. A hard decision, and may I say the best decision, has been made. Your Daughter must not tolerate a life with an abuser or feel that her little girl will pick up on what occurs when her parents are together. She’s probably a lot stronger than you think: she protected you from further distress when you were grief-stricken, and now she’s wanting to plan how she feels her life must go.

She knows you’re both there, for her and your Granddaughter and to give her all the support and love they need. That’s probably enough, don’t fear for her future as you might have done if she hadn’t been able to face the reality of single parenthood.

Promise yourself you’ll not try to do too much too soon, and follow your Daughter’s lead. You’ll get reassurance by listening to her plans and helping when you can. You’ve survived something terrible and I’m so sorry for your loss. You’ve said you were finally coming up for air - take big gulps of that and know that things will now get better and you can be part of it.
Wishing you and your Daughter and family everything you need for a fresh start and some happiness again.💐

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silverlining48 Thu 12-Sept-24 21:52:03

I am so very sorry to read your post Tigerpaws, to lose a child in such a way is heartbreaking.
You are coping with the most painful thing any parent should have to experience.

Your youngest daughter has decided she can’t remain in her marriage. If she is so unhappy it is the right decision for her and her child . It will be difficult for her and for you but you will get through this, you will.
flowers

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nanaK54 Thu 12-Sept-24 21:38:55

I am so very sorry to read that one of your daughters took her own life, I cannot even begin to imagine the anguish you must feel.
Your youngest daughter is deeply unhappy in her marriage, I am sure that you don't want her to stay with an emotionally abusive husband, nor would you want your granddaughter to witness that.
You will, I'm sure, find the strength to help her as she takes this brave step.
I wish nothing but happiness for you and your family flowers

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Charleygirl5 Thu 12-Sept-24 21:29:25

I am really sorry but I cannot read this as there are no paragraphs and as I am partially sighted I need a break in the writing.

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Tigerpaws57 Thu 12-Sept-24 21:25:53

I don't often post on here but I do read and have found it helpful sometimes to hear other people's experiences and perspectives on things, so I'm hoping I might get some inspiration on how to cope with my current turmoil.

For background, nearly two years ago, after years and years of mental health problems, one of my beloved daughters took her own life. I could not begin to describe the absolute trauma and devastation her death has caused to our family on so many levels. We are a close family and my husband and I and my other adult children have supported each other as best we could through this truly horrendous time. I don't expect ever to get over this tragedy, but in the last few weeks, I feel I have at last been able to come up for air a little and to start to recapture the threads of my life.

But now another bombshell. My youngest daughter, mother to my adored only grandchild, aged 3, has told me that her partner has been really emotionally abusive to her for a long time, she has tried her hardest to make the relationship work but now feels she has no choice but to leave him. She has kept this hidden from us all as she did not want to further distress us.

I am so very sad, sorry and disappointed for her and I know I must be strong and support her however I can - this is not about me. But. I am absolutely devastated and sick with worry. I am heartbroken that my little grandchild is facing this disruption and insecurity and I'm so scared for how my daughter will cope with all the responsibility, hard work and loneliness of single parenthood. I know also that her dad and I will need to be much more involved in a practical and emotionally supportive way than we currently are. It just feels like my resources are at an all time low and I don't have the strength to cope with so much more sadness.

So, I just wondered, any advice, any motivation, any ways of getting through when you feel so overwhelmed in life?

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