Why are people so spiteful?

How horrid . Unfortunately some people behave as if they’re still in the playground. I live in a village with several WhatsApp groups. One had another group formed which excluded one lady . I voiced my disapproval as did some others . It turned out one lady disliked the excluded lady .
What I find so spiteful in the ops post is that Susan has welcomed Jenny and husbands help and has still excluded her.
Well done op for calling out Susan . I would stay with the group but make it clear to Susan that it’s not on to exclude Jenny .

This used to go on long before Whats App and social media. Years ago I was a member of a large group that met once a month for a lecture and every week for coffee. We always went to the group parties but I was well aware that we were not invited to one member’s Annual Boxing Day Party and to another’s NYE party.

I’d either leave the group or invite Jenny to join - just oops, your name was accidentally left off!

I remember some years ago, 2 mums organised a Christmas eve get together every year for members of local toddler group. One year they decided not to invite one of the mums and her 3 children, so I decided not to attend. One of the mums called to ask why I wasn't there, I replied "I'm popping along to have coffee with K, I wouldn't like to think of her being alone".
Apparently she came off the phone quite upset and rightly so, it was a cruel nasty thing not to invite one person
I would have to withdraw from the private group

Have all the rest of the group noticed that Jenny has not been included? I see you think some of them might be complicit.

I'd feel like reminding Susan about all the help Jenny, and her husband, give her. If she's still expecting all that then she's breathtakingly two-faced.

What a very unpleasant situation to be in.

Well done to you for calling this out. It is nasty and underhand behaviour. Some people just never move on from the playground.
Something similar happened to my daughter when some mums organised a meet-up and deliberately left some mums out. My daughter, to her credit, organised a separate one and invited everyone. It didn't go down well but she made a point.
Unfortunately it is human behaviour and some people just don't grow up.

I would definitely withdraw from that group.

I think wherever there are groups of people, this kind of behaviour is likely,in some form or another, but I would not want be associated with it at all.

Sadly , this sort of thing is going on all the time. The relative anonymity of the dreaded WhatsApp group gives people the chance to play out their petty power games. Its very easy to tip into negative thinking and harder ( I find) to develop the resilience needed to withstand this stuff. Could you simply not respond to any messages?

Bad enough that it goes on in the work place, but craft and helping others is supposed to be fun!

Yes I would have to leave if it were me. These underhand antics are toxic.

How truly awful. I would not want to be part of a group like that. Spiteful and huertful. Bullying, just like the school playground.

It happened to me a long time ago, when colleagues excluded me from the get togethers, I used to have with them.
A member of staff, who was angry that I had got a promotion over her, started spreading lies about me. Unfortunately, some of my friends believed them.
It really hurt.

I would withdraw from the group. Do you really want to be associated with toxic people like that?

Becasue that is how some people are. nature? nurture? life experience? No idea. They just are.