Think about death

Tenko

I have started to think about death more recently as the husbands of two close friends died about 4 months ago . One very suddenly from an aneurysm and the other after a 6 month battle with cancer . It’s got me thinking how would I cope if DH died first . We have wills sorted and I’ve always done my DH books and accounts . We retired 2 years ago and sorted out our pensions and finances. Financially I’d be ok and we plan on downsizing soon .
I’m very practical and do my bit with DIY, cars and the garden and my DH does household chores and cooking .
Since we retired we’ve tried not to have pink and blue jobs .
Obviously I’d miss him dreadfully and you can’t prepare for grief.
Sending virtual hugs for those who’ve been widowed .

Sounds like you got it all sorted, well done.
Nobody knows when it will happen, but I have sorted a few things out like a will and given my girls anything I think they’ll like from the house that we don’t use, like Nan’s china which they love.It’s all on trend now, thin china teacups.
The rest they’ll have to sort at a later date.I have thought about this subject a time or two, everyone’s bound to when getting older.It’s a mistake to brood on it tho.

I would hate a nosy neighbour watching out whether I opened the curtains or took in the mail. I keep my distance and wont even give them my phone number. Im always amazed at the posters on Mumsnet who say their neighbour texted them to whinge about something.

My nephew comes around twice a week so I would not be long dead before someoe found me. Most weeks I ring him in between visits but not always.

My son WhatsApp's me every day to make sure I'm ok.
I'm not worried about death but the thought of falling or having a stroke/heart attack and not being able to get help frightens me. We are just researching a pendant or something which would enable me to easily get help.

henetha my Dad wears his alarm button on a wrist strap, like a watch.
I've impressed upon him that the only time he's allowed to take it off is when he's in the shower!

He'd been taking it off at night time but I said if he had a funny turn or fell when he went to the toilet, his alarm was no good to him on his bedside table.
"I'd be ok," he said, "I'd haul myself across the landing on my elbows and fetch it." 🙄

My sister and I think about it a lot, both in our sixties.I think if you have illness or feel less able or have some big life events, that can make you feel more vulnerable.
I think in times opast it wasn't AS worrying because there was better care available, better hospitals, better care homes, all of that and now it's a lottery, if you'e rich or at least comfortable, it makes things easier, if you're not, it's much more scary.

Oreo thanks for telling me . Its what I was taught by our English teacher at school . But like everything words change over the decades . 😊

I’ve been on my own since DH died for almost 13 years & the possibility of dying and not being discovered for days is increasingly a worry. I live near a daughter but we don’t communicate every day so 3 friends, also on their own, and I WhatsApp each morning. We all have details of each others families and contact numbers should the worst happen. Luckily not yet! Very occasionally one of us forgets and there is a flurry of ‘where are you ***?’ and relief when an answer is forthcoming 😅

My husband was told he had terminal cancer in 2016 aged 68. He saw to all the financial matters, the garden and was good at DIY. Was the family go to person with any problems. There were lots of things I should have asked him about but couldn’t bring myself to as I didn’t want to say it out loud. Then when he became really ill I couldn’t ask him because it felt insensitive. Consequently when he died I hadn’t a clue about our finances. I muddled through and I am on top of everything now but I do wish I had been more involved when he was alive. I intend to make it a lot easier for my daughter before my time comes. I also, without sounding morbid, do not intend to enter a care home so I’m hoping the assisted dying law comes in before my health deteriorates otherwise I will decide when I’ve had enough.

Thank you V3ra. I think I would prefer a wrist device rather than a pendant. Sounds like a good idea.
So it's best to keep it on at night too. Not sure I would be as strong as your Dad and crawl across the landing

I went through a bit of a phase whereby I couldn’t stop thinking about it and would feel really down especially when I looked at my five year old granddaughter who is the light of my life as it would upset me that I wouldn’t see her grow up it would make me cry
It still does but to a lesser extent now

Thank you V3ra. I think I would prefer a wrist device rather than a pendant. Sounds like a good idea.
So it's best to keep it on at night too. Not sure I would be as strong as your Dad and crawl across the landing

He couldn't do it either, only in his dreams, henetha 😂

My maternal Grandma spent the night lying on the bathroom floor when she had a stroke.
The warden in her sheltered flat found her when she did her routine check the next morning.
Grandma spent a week in hospital, unconscious, before she died.

I think about it nearly every day, morbid I know, can’t help it. DH and I have sorted wills and wishes and have paid up funeral plans. Try and live every day to the full but one day last month felt very unwell, thought I was having a silent heart attack and all I could think was, I’m not ready to go! lol

Dianehillbilly1957

I'm just relieved and feel better I'm not the only one! Try not to overthink it, but unfortunately my brain keeps taking me there without my permission!! 🤣

Me too!
Our thoughts wander where they will. 😊
It’s definitely an age thing,
Years ago a blood test was just a blood test.
Now?
Waiting for results induces ‘what ifs’….

I would like to go like my Grandad. He went to buy his paper at the shop 3 miles from home. When he got back he made a cup of tea, sat in his chair to read the paper, then his heart turned off.
My DH is 10 years older than me so I am concerned about maybe being the one left behind as I have no family and my friends live hundreds of miles away. I'm sure things will work out, whichever one of us is left behind.

I would like to go like my Grandma. She sat in her chair reading a letter, fully and smartly dressed and closed her eyes one last time.

The man over the road from us just died whilst eating his dinner. He was found sitting upright in his easy chair with his half eaten dinner on the coffee table beside him.

Yes I do Nana56 and I am always trying to envisage special occasions that would be in the future with my children and grandchildren. As I have got older I tend to think about these things more.

My thoughts are with those who have sadly lost their husbands/partners.💐 We have lived together for 24 years and have made our wills. OH has two daughters and two grandsons. I have a son and daughter and four granddaughters. We have a joint current account for all household expenses which we contribute to equally. I own 81% of the house and my OH 19%. This is reflected in our wills. My problem is that I don’t have a funeral plan. However, I do have a state pension and a relatively modest private pension. I happily contribute to my granddaughters’ educational and other sporting/performing arts activities, as I like to see them enjoy these things. I feel that I’m quite generous with birthday/Christmas gifts for my children and granddaughters, but I do worry about my funeral arrangements, as I’d like to have paid for it, as I’m very independent. I would only choose something simple, with a party after for my loved ones to celebrate my life.

crazyH

All the time Nana56.
I am divorced. I live on my own. My biggest fear is that I will ‘go’ in my sleep and no one will know. If my family ring me, and don’t get answer, they won’t think anything of it.
Solution : I have given my children’s numbers to my lovely young friend across the road, and asked her to ring them in case they notice no household activity in the house, curtains closed , car not moved etc. Sounds morbid, but it’s a fact of life.

We often used to hear of people having a bad fall at home, unconscious, or even dead and no-one knowing. As I have lived by myself for many years, this is something that worried me.
Simple solution - each morning I send to my local adult child a message saying OK. If she does not receive this by 9.00 am, she telephones me - if no reply is received she will come round to me.

I worry about dying on my own. My darling husband died last year but at least we were together to the end.

Now I’m on my own my youngest son messages me every morning to check I’m ok and at night before I go to bed. He has also set the Alexa app so if I have a fall and am conscious I can call out “drop in on (sons name)” and even if I don’t speak he will know it’s an emergency by the fact the app called him and will come to my home. We have tested it and it works.

Death doesn't frighten me .I think of the song....Till we meet again, till we meet again, till we meet at Jesus side.My Husband who died a couple of years ago will be waiting for me !

I do a bit;. I started a thread about it a few months back. I will link it sometime.

My eventual answer has been @I have decided I am going to live until I am 90@!
It is working for me. I feel much happier!

excuse the @, they should be speech marks. I need to switch off and on again the computer, to correct the keyboard!

www.gransnet.com/forums/gransnet_cafe/a1339145-Older-age

I live alone with absolutely no relatives, I worry about my pets if I were to die in my sleep, what on earth would they do?

Death doesn't worry me..I will get to see my Husband again. There is a song....Till we meet again, till we meet again, God be with you till we meet again.