Husband on the loose

As others have said you really do need to meet Heather, it may be entirely innocent but if Heather is single and 10 yrs younger she may not be, there are a lot of attractive women in their 60s looking for a man, and a lot of men in their 70s easily flattered.

That doesn’t sound right to me and call me cynical if you want but affair or just friendship he is preferring her company to yours so no I wouldn’t be happy at all

I d start being interested in Bingo I think

I wouldn’t be happy about it,personally. You know your husband,though and whether it is just friendship or something a bit stronger.

No way would I be happy with my DH going on walks with another woman.

merlotgran

^You might be at that stage where you aren’t bothered about your other half^

Well if he hadn’t died three years ago I’d most certainly be bothered enough to deal with any circling Heathers.

Ahh sorry I apologise about your loss

The bingo is one thing, but going for walks afterwards??
I would certainly accompany my OH on one of his bingo nights in order to meet this Heather and make a point of asking her back for coffee. Just to get the lay of the land.

You might be at that stage where you aren’t bothered about your other half

Well if he hadn’t died three years ago I’d most certainly be bothered enough to deal with any circling Heathers.

Good advice there, I think.

Were I you, I would invite her around for a meal or try to make an arrangement to otherwise meet her, if your husband seems to not want this, that would be a red flag. If he is happy to invite her but she is not happy to come, that would be a red flag too. If he begins to hide his devices from you or end calls when you appear, that would be a red flag. However, if he were happy to invite her, she were happy to come and happy to meet you, I would relax.

merlotgran

^However, he will not stop going on about a new friend he had made who he seems to be VERY close with.^

In my family we call this ‘mentionitis’ and your antennae should be twitching.

Get to know this Heather PDQ even if it means going to Bingo. You might find you get on well with her and if she becomes your friend your DH will probably back off.

Jealousy is a wasted emotion at our age. If you’re worried about his behaviour, nip it in the bud!

I wouldn’t say that it’s a wasted emotion, my friends husband buggered off with his sil aged 74,it doesn’t matter if you are 24, or 84, it’s still hurtful if your partner finds someone else more attractive.
You might be at that stage where you aren’t bothered about your other half🙄

Does Heather have a husband/partner? I would certainly be a little suspicious if she is on her own. As others have suggested, either join them for a walk or invite her round for a cup of tea. As Petra says, just ask him ‘when am I going to meet Heather?’ I do hope there is no cause for you to worry.

Mm I would be pleased for him get on and have some peace or find your own home outlet or go and join a club or something yourself

Perhaps they met and just clickety clicked.

I think I'd say I'd like to come along to bingo and see what his reaction was. If he tried to dissuade me, I'd be sniffing a rat. It would make me very suspicious if he preferred his trips out with 'Heather' and not me

Just ask him when am I going to meet this Heather

We tease DH that he has a harem. Most of the other participants of his gym classes are women and he messages most of them.

I'm not concerned but then none of them are called Heather.

Oh they will tell you. Hiding in plain sight

Just a friend , bingo and walks .....

hmm !

However, he will not stop going on about a new friend he had made who he seems to be VERY close with.

In my family we call this ‘mentionitis’ and your antennae should be twitching.

Get to know this Heather PDQ even if it means going to Bingo. You might find you get on well with her and if she becomes your friend your DH will probably back off.

Jealousy is a wasted emotion at our age. If you’re worried about his behaviour, nip it in the bud!

I wouldn't like it, unless I was sure it was just friendship.

It may well be, but I'm naturally a cynical person (or a realist, depending on how your take on it is)

BigBertha1

I suppose being jealous shows how much he still interest you but jealously is a negative emotion that does you no good to hold on to. Could you go on one of the walks (not the bingo which is dire) and both be a friend of Heather's?

Good idea, I've made friends with Heather too.

DH has a friend called Heather as well

Hope it's not the same Heather.

If its a new friend , i would be suspicious. My first husband suddenly started talking about a woman we both knew from work. Giving her lifts and advice etc, before I knew it , they were off together

He surely wouldn’t be telling you if it was more than just friendship.
Is your name Heather?
This reminds me of a woman I met when my H had dementia.
Her H also was affected, he had a girl friend, imaginary, who had the same name as his wife and he used to say he was going to meet her and would regale his wife with their exploits.

Hmm... bingo 🤔